AITA for cancelling dinner while my husband was at work?

One woman is feeling guilty for canceling dinner plans with her husband after he left her waiting for over an hour. They agreed to go out for dinner at 9 PM, but her husband, busy with a customer at his coffee shop, didn’t respond to her messages.

Frustrated and hungry, she decided to fry an egg instead and told him he could eat out alone. He later expressed disappointment, saying she should be more understanding of his work. read the original story below….

‘ AITA for cancelling dinner while my husband was at work?’

Tonight, my (24F) husband (25M) told me that we should eat out for dinner since we didn’t have food at home. I said yes, and suggested that we go out around 9PM and told him I’ll put the kids to bed at 8PM with the house clean and everything.

He agreed, and by 8:30 both kids were already asleep and the house was clean. I messaged him that I’m ready and if we could go now. He said that he still has a customer, and I was fine with it and mentioned something about the food. However, he didn’t respond then 9:30 rolled around so I message him again.

Nothing. At this point I was STARVING and getting hangrier by the minute. I kept messaging and calling him but no response, I was getting upset bcs he does this all the time. I would usually be fine but tonight I was hungry plus the kids woke up.

I messaged him that I was going to just fry an egg and this dinner is over, he can eat out alone. That’s when he started messaging me again telling me he was busy and he could just order me food, but I told him to forget it bcs I’m not going to starve myself again waiting for him.

He got upset and said that I should be more understanding bcs he was working but he does this so much that I don’t want to deal with it anymore. AITA?

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

ironwolf56 −  INFO: hold up… do you two go out to dinner and leave your kids home alone in bed?!

Reasonable-Sale8611 −  I don’t know why people are being hard on you. If he can close the shop early, then why didn’t he do that? When you called him at 8:30 and said you were ready, he could have turned around the sign on the door to say “closed” and just let customers who were already in there finish up their coffee, and then he could have closed the shop in peace.

It sounded like he made plans with you, told you he was closing the shop, and then just didn’t. On the other hand, if he CANNOT close the shop, why didn’t he just say that, so you could make your dinner earlier than 9:30 pm?

And finding out, after the fact, that the reason he was late was that his relatives stopped by, is even worse. He is just stringing you along, expecting you to wait for him hungry during the dinner hour, while he keeps changing his plans based on whatever whim he has.

I think he needs to do what he says he is going to do, and stop stringing you along. If what he is going to do is, “Sorry, I can never close the shop early because I just really need the customers” then that is completely fine. You can plan around it! But telling you one thing and then doing something totally different, is not ok for him to do.

thirdtryisthecharm −  suggested that we go out around 9PM . I don’t get why this was the plan. You know the shop doesn’t typically close til 10pm. Why would you make plans that involve closing early? INFO

similar_name4489 −  NTA if he offers to go for dinner with you at 9:00 PM, meaning he’s closing early as he’s a grown man who knows his business hours before he made the offer.

Then at 8:30 PM, when he has a customer either he tells the customer he’s closing early (which he should have advertised) or he cancels with you – the minimal thing is to send you an update at 9 saying sorry but you’re canceling. I mean, you could have as well but no communication when he was the one who scheduled with you? 

Famous_Connection_91 −  He got upset and said that I should be more understanding bcs he was working but he does this so much that I don’t want to deal with it anymore. You’d have been understanding that he was working but that’s not what the problem was.

The problem was that he insisted on making dinner plans with you and unilaterally changed the plans without communicating to you, making you wait to eat. It’s apparently a reoccurring issue that he’s disrespectful of your time and needs while demanding that you respect his time and needs.

From here on out, he has a 5 minute grace period before you just do whatever you need to do. If he’s late, that’s on him. If he’s not in communication with you, that’s on him.

KronkLaSworda −  NTA. While I was leaning towards N A H, as hey, sometimes stuff happens. It sounds like this happens often (him working later than planned). Also, it’s rude to expect you to wait for hours without any communication and then blow up on you when you got tired of waiting and just ate.

I, for one, would NOT be happy about waiting until 9 or 10 to eat dinner. I like to eat by 7 at the latest.

ZookeepergameWise774 −  NTA. He offered to take you out for dinner, he AGREED 9.00pm with you. Then some family members rocked up and he just…. forgot you were waiting at home? With, as HE had said earlier, “no food in the house”. Yeah, this one’s on him.

Socratic_Labrador_02 −  NTA He asked to make plans, then flakes on the plans without letting you know. The least he could do was reply to your texts.. I’d be hangry AF by 9.30 lol

RandomGuy_81 −  Both have attitude I get why you sniped back but a relationship doesnt survive on sniping. The move here was . Send him a msg around 9:20 saying i get youre busy at shop. Lets change the plans and say such plan Either get food and meet him at shop or throw him a msg, sorry seems its not a good. Night and youre busy, i grabbed food myself.

boboliger −  NTA. Your husband needs to communicate with you more clearly about plans he already agreed to.

What do you think? Share your thoughts below!