AITA for cancelling dinner when my boyfriend brought a bell to the diner to “grab” the staff’s attention?

A Reddit user shared her frustration over an incident at a diner when her boyfriend, Rhett, used a small bell to get the attention of the waitstaff. Despite her asking him to stop, he continued ringing the bell, causing a scene and embarrassing her. She eventually left the diner, citing the behavior as inappropriate, while he argued that it was acceptable in his culture. Now, he’s sulking and demanding an apology. Wondering if she overreacted? Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for cancelling dinner when my boyfriend brought a bell to the diner to “grab” the staff’s attention?’

This might sound bad but I don’t know if I was TA here. I (F30) have been dating my boyfriend Rhett (M31) for 4 months, we live in different town and he’s not from here, (he’s american living here) he usually visits on the weekends, This time I decided to visit his town and eat out at a diner.

Rhett was already there when I arrived to the diner, we talked some, checked the menu, then when it was time to order he pulled a small bell out of his jacket pocket, lifted it up then started shaking it. it produced a loud, annoying sound my ears started hurting. I was so confused I asked what he was doing and he said that he was trying to get one of the waiter staff’s attention.

I said it was embarrassing and he should stop right then but he kept shaking it. I can not begin to explain the looks we received from everyone. I demanded him to stop but he said not til someone came and took our order. I threatened to leave the place and cancel dinner if he wouldn’t and he kept doing it.

Someone came already, but I’d already gotten up, took my purse and started making my way out. He followed me and started arguing about walking out but I told him that I couldn’t take being embarrassed by him and he got upset and said that he didn’t get why I thought the bell was embarrassing, explained that it was a perfect solution for no longer be forced to wait til someone shows up.

I asked if it was acceptable to do this in america and he said “yes because it’s a free country and people there usually don’t give a s**t” but I said it’s inappropriate and embarrasding here. he said I was being too sensitive and overreacted over nothing. He insisted we go back inside but I refused.

We ended up leaving, he kept on about how I ruined dinner by cancelling it and offending him by acting like his behavior is shamful. I said I had a right to give an opinion on what he’s done even if he thought what he was doing but he basically told me to get off my high horse and stop calling his “genius” idea embarrassing. He’s been sulking for days now and wanting an apology, Maybe I overreacted. maybe it’s nothing where he lives but here it’s just unacceptable.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

PingPongProfessor −  I asked if it was acceptable to do this in america and he said “yes because people there usually don’t give a s**t” American here… No, it’s not, and yes we would. That’s incredibly rude, and beyond inappropriate. You are NTA and your BF is a rude, entitled AH who would be thrown out of most restaurants in the US for that sort of behavior.

4682458 −  NTA. Only 4 mo. in, get out.

1. It is NOT acceptable in America.

2. If it is acceptable in his rude ass culture in a pocket of America, he should still conform to the norms of the country he is in.

3. The way one treats waitstaff is a good indicator of how he’ll possibly treat you one day.

4. HE ruined dinner with his shameful behavior.

TRoseee −  NTA American here who worked in restaurants for over 10 years. People do not do this. And a few of the places I worked at would 100% kick a person out doing this because wtf. So rude. He’s lying to your face.

[Reddit User] −  NTA and that’s not an American thing, just an entitled, a**hole thing… what a gross attitude, run away from this man.

peachpinkjedi −  NTA. Rhett is weird at best and disrespectful and entitled at worst. The second-hand embarrassment of being on a date with a man who brought a bell to dinner would have vaporized me on the spot.

warNpieces −  NTA. The sulking for days behaviour is a serious Big Red Flag.

Beck2010 −  NTA. People in America do NOT bring a bell to a restaurant to get the staff’s attention. He’s a 31 year old toddler and it’s time for you to walk away from him.

snuppee −  I’m from America he is ah. If that was ok every table would have a bell. No one would go because it be to loud and obnoxious. Get away from this guy

GreekAmericanDom −  NTA. Yank here. I have never known anyone to carry their own bell to get the attention of waitstaff. Ever.. That is rude and condescending. You shouldn’t just walk out of the diner. You should walk out on the relationship. What kind of AH does something like that?

ACB1984 −  Hard NTA !!! I can’t imagine that being ok ANYWHERE.. To sum it up:

– He’s got 0 respect for the wait staff who are trying to give service to more than one table, imo he acts as if the staff are less than human. Treat service staff with respect, be polite. Jeez. Big red flag 🚩🚩

– He’s got 0 respect for everyone else trying to eat their meal. Big red flag.🚩🚩

– He’s got 0 respect for the person he is dating; when you asked him to stop he ignored you. Big red flag.🚩🚩

– He’s completely unwilling to accept that he might be wrong; when told his behavior is unacceptable he refuses to take anyone elses perspective but his own. He’s moved countries for Gods sake, even if a bell WAS ok in his homecountry (or hometown) he needs to adjust to a new culture and listen to the “locals”! Big red flag.🚩🚩

Do you think the Redditor overreacted to her boyfriend’s behavior, or was she justified in walking out of the diner? How would you feel if your partner did something like this in public? Share your thoughts below!