AITA for canceling the family trip because my stepson damaged my plants?

A stepparent canceled a family trip after their stepson, angry over a previous conflict, destroyed cherished indoor plants by watering them with bleach. Now, the stepson’s mother thinks the punishment is too harsh, while the stepparent feels it’s necessary to teach accountability. Who’s in the wrong here?

‘ AITA for canceling the family trip because my stepson damaged my plants?’

I grow indoor plants and keep them around the house whether by the kitchen window or out on the front porch. I have a variety of plants like Lily, aloe vera, also flowers and they all require care and attention. It’s a hobby of mine and because I don’t own enough space I just stick to indoor planting.

I have a 16 year old stepson Sean who loves to pull all kinds of pranks and has been trying some weird-prankes on me lately. I don’t mind it as long as he’s happy and also because nothing is too serious just hiding my farming tools/replacing them with damaged ones and so on. He just keeps messing around like any other kid. days ago he posted a FB video of him spraying cold water on me when I was sleeping. It was embarrassing since he shared it with family.

I got mad at him and had him delete it despite him begging me to let him keep it. He kept sulking afterwards and had his mom try to convince me to let him repost the video but I thought that was crazy request. Sean suddenly became friendly and asked if he could water my plants, I was glad he asked and gave him the watering can and told him to start with the plants in the kitchen. He was gone for few minutes then he got back and started watering all the plants in the house.

Later in the evening I was cleaning my tools and there was a weird smell coming from the watering can. It smelled like bleach. I freaked out and checked my plants and the same smell was coming from them . I confronted Sean and asked what he watered the plants with. He acted dumb and said nothing but I found a bottle of bleach in his room which made me lose my temper. He admitted watering my plants with bleach to get back at me for making him remove the video.

I was mortified I immediately canceled the weekend trip to the national park that he was looking forward to. he started crying saying it was too much and he made a mistake in moment of clouded judgement. I refused to discuss it, My wife feels bad Sean hasn’t been eating well since I canceled the trip but he damaged my plants and caused me hurt and pain. She thinks an apology was enough, he is a kid and made a mistake.

She wanted me to let it go but I said canceling the trip is his official punishment, Period I got called unreasonable and stubborn for this and that I don’t respect her as a parent too and said taking away the only thing he cares about the most and look forward the most reeks of ab%$&se. Sean has this mentally that if he admits doing something wrong then he’ll be forgiven. This isn’t how it should be but his mother thinks admitting to it and apologizing should be the end of it.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

WebbieVanderquack −  NTA. That seems like a reasonable punishment for a horrible, hateful act. My wife feels bad Sean hasn’t been eating well since I canceled the trip. He’ll get over it.

Shivaelan −  NTA, that’s not a prank – that’s pretty hateful property damage, but besides that, he knew what he was doing. At 6, I would have known that was wrong – let alone 16! His actions absolutely should have consequences.

[Reddit User] −  NTA but your step-son is. His mother needs to stop making excuses for him. He is 16 years old and she needs to stop enabling his bad behaviour. You reacted much better than I would have. He has no respect for you or your possessions. You shouldn’t apologise and don’t go on the trip. Stand your ground and teach him the lesson that s**tty actions have s**tty consequences.

At 16 he knows better, he knew what he was doing and thought he’d get away with it as usual. Instead of going on the trip, have a family meeting where you set boundaries with both your step-son and his mother.

LibTart2021 −  NTA wtf?! He goes on a flora death rampage because of a video being taken down? Sean purposely destroyed living things that belonged to you just to hurt you? Not only would I take away the trip, but there would be more punishment coming, I’m not sure what, but it would be in line with how long it takes to collect and regrow all the varieties you had. I don’t know how you could even trust him in your house again. Edit: info: can’t you just ban Sean from the trip? Seems harsh to punish the rest of the family.

Misha2468 −  NTA- actions have consequences and that was not a prank, that was malicious and it was targeted at you. What’s next? Nair in your shampoo, antifreeze in your mouthwash, Visine in your coffee? I hope not, but you see where I’m going. He has escalated past playful to harmful intent. He crossed an unacceptable line and he needs to be corrected now. It’s not negotiable.

aphrodora −  NTA And I’m appalled that his mother doesn’t have your back.

quarantineinthesouth −  NTA. Your wife is the biggest AH in this whole story. Said taking away the only thing he cares about the most and look forward the most reeks of ab%$&se. This is rich!! She has a teen son that throws cold water on you when you are sleeping and kills your plants, and she is accusing YOU of abuse??? Way to victim blame! She thinks an apology was enough he is a kid and made a mistake…

Sean has this mentally that if he admits doing something wrong then he’ll be forgiven. Gee, I wonder where he got that idea from? She is raising a monster that thinks mentally torturing his family is funny. He even throws a tantrum because you refuse to be humilliated online so he gets some likes. A judge wont be nearly as chill as you if this issue isnt nipped in the bud on time.

Brickolas75 −  NTA – I would normally say the punishment doesn’t fit the crime; but watering your plants with bleach is one of those dark, revenge-type things where it’s super suspect. He was deliberately seeking to hurt you.

Careless_Mango −  NTA16 isn’t a child really. You maybe be in the US but in the U.K. you can marry with your parents consent, legally have s**, join the army, start driving lessons etc He isn’t 12. He knew the video was embarrassing and posted it without consent. Will he do that to someone he dates too? He doesn’t accept you don’t consent? He needs to learn these concepts and boundaries.

He then gets angry can’t control it and pours bleach on your plants to kill them. He knows they will die. Not only should he not go on holiday he needs to repay you in full value for your plants and materials. This is not over. His mother also needs to know this behaviour is not right and she has a chance whilst he still under her roof to correct the course.

The_Wondering_Monk −  NTA. Next time he complains, tell him “it’s just a prank bro” then go without him.