AITA for calling the police on my sister when she was “just trying to help”?’
A 22-year-old mother had to leave her newborn son with her sister (27) while undergoing surgery. Upon returning, she found her sister breastfeeding her baby, which didn’t initially upset her until the sister revealed she had thrown out all of the baby’s formula, calling it “garbage,” and intended to switch him to breast milk.
Shocked by this, the mother called the police. However, the police couldn’t take action since feeding the baby wasn’t deemed a crime. The sister is now furious, demanding payment for babysitting, and has blocked all communication. Meanwhile, their parents managed to replace some formula but believe the mother overreacted by calling the police.
‘ AITA for calling the police on my sister when she was “just trying to help”?’
I’m 22f. My sister is 27f. We had babies within two weeks of each other, and our sons are now 3 and 5 weeks old. Her son is breastfed and mine is not. I needed to get surgery recently, and because my sons father isn’t around, my sister and BIL offered to babysit my son while I was in the hospital (3 days total) free of charge.
When I came home today, I walked into my son on my sisters b**ast, which I actually didn’t have an issue with to begin with because it was probably easier to BF him than make bottles but she told me after she had thrown out all of the “garbage” I was feeding him and she was going to pump+donate milk to him.
I was kind of in shock so I didn’t react straight away but I went to the bathroom and called the police on her. Apparently what she did wasn’t a crime, and the child is being fed so they couldn’t even do anything about it.
My sister then blew up at me, saying it was completely wrong of me to call the police on her when she was just trying to help, I told her she dumped 14 cans of formula without even consulting me and currently had nothing to replace it with, just plans to.
She now wants me to pay her for the babysitting she did but I told her I can’t even afford to replace the formula while I’m on maternity leave so I won’t be paying her for the babysitting.She ended up storming out, and blocked me on everything. Our parents were able to replace 2 of the cans she threw out but can’t do much else.
They also think I was a d**k for calling the police on her because getting a record could affect her government job and therefore my Newphew. aita?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Prestigious_Isopod72 − 14 cans of formula is no joke. NTA.
Dregothedragon − NTA. She just literally dumped hundreds of dollars of formula that YOU BOUGHT because of her own personal opinions on formula. I would have done the same thing, in your situation
He_Who_Is_Person − NTA.She destroyed your property, and I’m baffled how destroying property is supposed to be *ok* because she b**ast fed at that moment.. . I was going to say:
*But you just… went into the bathroom and called the police? You didn’t say anything to her first, say, to make a demand that she replace what she destroyed? (Speaking of which, was it just sitting in the garbage? Did you check? Or was it poured down the drain?)*
But at the end of the day it’s the same as someone saying they decided TVs are bad for kids so they smashed yours. Can’t do that. (*How* did the police say it wasn’t a crime?)
Diasies_inMyHair − She owes you for the 14 cans of formula that she stole and threw away. She can disagree with you all she wants, but theft is theft – and now that she’s blocked you everywhere, she’s leaving your child to go hungry.. Small claims court?
beanfiddler − NTA. She destroyed $140+ worth of formula and endangered your ability to feed your child. Also, a lot of jurisdictions consider breastfeeding a child that is not your own without the permission of the parents a form of battery, regardless of what that one cop said (cops aren’t lawyers, they often do not know the law, especially in odd cases).
Others can charge it up to sexual a**ault since it involves breasts, so she got really lucky you were actually okay with that part, if not the destruction of your property and child endangerment part. Your sister majorly crossed some boundaries that, in many respects, could be considered criminal.
If this was the first time she did anything that disrespected your boundaries, I would say calling the police was an overreaction, but it seems that she has been very vocal about things that are none of her concern and this was just her escalating her behavior, which was already over the line.
Plus, she’s messing with your infant *and* your ability to care for him while you are vulnerable, in the hospital, and depending on her support, all of which she leveraged to violate your boundaries. I don’t think that expecting you to take that calmly is fair.
Edit: my bad, formula is more expensive than last time I bought it for a friend with a baby. 14 cans worth of it is more like $300+. Yikes, that’s totally out of pocket to destroy that much of someone’s property over a healthcare disagreement, *particularly* when you know an infant is depending on that property.
WhyCommentQueasy − NTA, she destroyed your property, the food for your child. Such a typical blow-off from the police though. 🙄
Conscious_Drama_4948 − Nta- idgaf if I get downvoted but wtf is wrong with your sister. She’s crazy.
the_greengrace − ESH. Your sister is an obnoxious, judgy AH. She should not be giving you s**t about how you choose to feed your child. She should *never* have thrown out your formula. That’s extremely fucked up. You also shouldn’t have called the police. That’s equally fucked up, maybe moreso.
She took care of your newborn for 72 hours straight. That is normally a costly service and would about equal the cost of the formula. If not for her you would have had to pay someone to babysit. And she had a newborn of her own at the same time. You’re even. And you both acted like AHs.
EmiliusReturns − ESH. Her for obvious reasons, it’s not ok to throw away all your formula, duh, but really? Your gut instinct is to call the POLICE??? Reddit will defend it because Reddit loves revenge porn and “but mah property” but that’s a ridiculous overreaction as a FIRST response and needlessly escalated the situation.
No attempt to get the money back, no argument, just straight to call the cops? On your sister who took care of your baby for free? Wtf. I just can’t get into that headspace. Well, either headspace here. Hence ESH. Y’all have issues.
Ambitious_Policy_936 − Destruction of property is a police matter. I’m sorry there wasn’t any evidence. NTA
Was the mother justified in calling the police for the violation of her trust and boundaries, or was this an extreme response to a misguided attempt to help? What would you have done? Share your thoughts in the comments!