AITA for calling the police on my fiance?

A Redditor called the police on their fiancée after she went missing for nearly 12 hours without communication. Concerned for her safety, they alerted authorities, but her eventual return led to backlash, especially when a wellness check interrupted her work. Now she’s upset, claiming it was an overreaction. Read the full story below…

‘ AITA for calling the police on my fiance?’

Last night my (35M) Fiance (38F) left in the evening to give a friend’s son a ride back to his home. She implied she’d be home before 9. She left at around 7:45. 10:15 rolled around and she still wasn’t home. I texted and she apologized to me, saying that her friend’s son was actually in the next town over (maybe 30 minutes away) and she was coming home now.

11:45 rolled around and she still hadn’t come home, so I called her to no answer. Texted her to no response. I was getting very upset. 12.30 rolled around and still no response and no answer to my phone calls. I was extremely angry. 1:30 rolled around and my anger had completely transformed into worry. Not answering my calls and texts not read.

Around 1:45 I called the police. I have always heard that the first 24 hours of someone being missing is the most important, so I didnt want to delay. I asked them to let me know if there had been any traffic accidents involving her car, and the operator told me that they would put out the word and send some cops to check along the route she would travel.

I called all the hospitals in the area to check if she has been checked in and I waited outside watching the road for her car for three hours, partially because I didn’t want the kids to hear me on the phone with hospitals, and secondly because I was sick with worry. At 7:00am she came home. She apologized for being out and said she had no excuse.

She was driving home and felt tired like she was falling asleep at the wheel, so she pulled over to the side of the road to sleep. When she did that, she found that her brand new phone had stopped working. She says she napped anyway because it was the responsible thing to do, and then came home at 7am to bring the kids to school and get to work on time.

I immediately called the police and told them that she had come home safely and gave them the case number and told them to stop searching, which they did. My fjance brought the kids to school and left for work. I set out to start cleaning (cleaning destresses me sometimes), and I got a call from a policeman asking where she worked.

I told him, and asked why, and I was informed that it was their policy to check on the person’s wellness after a missing person is found. I asked them to not go by her work but to give her a call instead. He said he couldn’t promise. My fiance is relatively new to her job. A police officer showed up and asked to speak with her.

She is now enraged at me for calling the police and ‘sending a cop to her work’ and making her look bad. She is saying I overreacted and that she wasn’t missing and that I was punishing her for doing the responsible thing and not driving while drowsy.

She is saying that she is never going to leave the house again except for work, because she is afraid I’m going to call the cops on her again. So did I overreact? Should I have waited two days like she suggests?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Kezibythelake −  NTA…but you know she’s lying, right?

MinerReddit −  NTA – I don’t believe her story one bit. Driving a kid home and disappearing for the entire night is a massive red flag. How does she not even know where he lives when she started the drive? How old is this kid? Pulling over and sleeping on the side of a road for a 30-minute drive is nuts. She is now turning this around to say she is the victim of your actions.

Automatic_Time9227 −  I think your fiancé is getting railed two towns over my guy

madelinegumbo −  NTA. But you know that isn’t the truth, right?

fading__blue −  NTA. She said she was on her way home at 10:15 pm and then disappeared until 7 am. Of COURSE you were going to call the police and have them go looking for her. If she’d been in an accident or worse, she would’ve been dead if you’d waited two days to call.

That being said, she’s definitely lying about what happened. It honestly sounds more like she fell asleep at her affair partner’s place and concocted that bogus excuse to cover her ass.

Tim-oBedlam −  NTA. Something is up. That excuse doesn’t fly. It just doesn’t make sense that she’d sleep all night in her car to avoid a 30-minute drive home. I don’t blame you for calling the cops, and her reaction is out of line. I think she’s hiding something.

If her friend’s son was 30 minutes away then she should have been back by 9. I’m 95% sure she’s lying to you about where she was. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news here.

Due-External8607 −  NTA. But even if that phone was dropped in a toilet… It was working when she got home… It is policy for them to check in person because they have to see that the person is alive and well, because anyone could make a phone call and say it.. But dude.

Thirty minutes away, stops to sleep on the side? If you reported her missing her car would also be noted. If she was on the side sleeping somewhere, wouldn’t they have seen the car and well woken her up? Her story reeks. Don’t fall for it dude. She’s still only a fiance. Don’t make her a wife before this is cleared up with legitimate reasons. Because none of hers seem right.

The__Riker__Maneuver −  INFO. So you actually believe the story your fiance is selling you? Look man…your fiance cheated on you. She didn’t fall asleep on the side of the road. Her brand new phone didn’t stop working. She was with someone else. Stop being so naive

Meriadoxm −  NTA so a 1 hour drive turned into nearly 12 hours? You know she’s lying right? If she was just driving the kid home, she would’ve been home around 9pm and wouldn’t have been driving in the middle of the night and gotten so tired she was falling asleep at the wheel, her phone wouldn’t have died and you wouldn’t have been worried or had to call the police.

Even if she stayed to chat with her friend, she would’ve been home around 10:30/10:45 and a half an hour drive at that time for the average person should be no issue.

My guess is that she dropped off the kid and then met up with someone, told you she was on her way home, stayed, ended up falling asleep and then panicked that she fell asleep and rushed home for 7AM and gave you that BS story.

imaguestage −  NTA. You were right to call the cops but I don’t think that’s the biggest issue here… So at 10:15, she was 30 minutes away so that puts her arrival time at 10:45. Between 10:15 and 10:45 she got too tired to drive anymore so she pulled over to rest. She proceeded to sleep for EIGHT HOURS straight through, since she returned at 7 AM.

Come on dude, you can’t really be buying that she slept undisturbed for 8 hours on the side of the road when police were out looking for her car. She is lying. I don’t know if she is cheating in you or is involved with drugs or gambling or what but she did not sleep 8 hours on the side of the road when she was 30 minutes away from home.

Was the Redditor justified in calling the police, or did they overreact to a misunderstanding? How would you handle such a situation? Share your thoughts!