AITA for calling the police on my client?

A babysitter faced a tough decision when a perpetually late client failed to return home as promised. After hours of waiting and no response from the parent, she called the police, leading to a chain of events that could impact the family’s custody situation. Now, she wonders if her actions were too extreme or entirely justified.

‘ AITA for calling the police on my client?’

I (28F) do babysitting on the weekends to make some babysitting on the weekends to make extra cash. There is one family I definitely should’ve fazed out by now but the kids are cute and if I don’t have another job, it’s easy money. My issue is, the mom is never home on time.

She used to not give me return times but finally I started asking as it made it impossible to get anything done on the weekends. I’d go babysit so she could go to “brunch” but she’d be gone from 11 AM to 7 PM. My whole day was gone. After that, she’d start giving me times but never stick to them. She wouldn’t even call to tell me, she’d just stay out.

On Saturday, I got to her house at 6 and she was supposed to be home by 9. I told her she needed to be on time because I had plans to go out with friends. I was even getting ready at their house after I put the kids to be. She promised. Of course, 9:00 rolls around and she’s not home. I call her, no response. Text, no response. Another hour. Nothing. Still calling and texting. Finally, it is midnight. By this point, my plans are long ruined but I’m pissed and exhausted.

I call her and leave a voicemail saying if she’s not home in the next hour, I’m considering the kids abandoned and calling the cops. I also text her this. I try calling her 30 minutes later and it goes to voicemail on the second ring, I text her again and she leaves me on read. If she had reached out saying “Hey, I’m staying out until x time”, I would’ve stayed. I don’t know any of her family nor the father of the kids so I can’t call them.

I gave her a grace period of 15 minutes and tried calling again, finally called the cops (non-emergency line). They showed up and I showed our agreement in text from earlier in the week confirming that she’d be home by 9. They try contacting her, didn’t answer. I was dismissed and they took the children to the police station. I go home and go to bed.

I am awoken at 3 AM by a frantic call. It’s her. Where are the kids? Why am I not here? I tell her I followed through on my threat, check the police station. She cursed me out, I hung up and went to bed.

The next day, she sends me an essay saying the kids’ father was called and there’s a DCF investigation launched against her. She called me every name under the sun but I didn’t think I was wrong until I spoke to a friend with kids. She said I should’ve just waited it out and refuse to ever sit for her again. She asked if her potentially losing her kids was worth me being petty.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

[Reddit User] −  Nta. One thing I’ve learned from True Crime is the wait 24 hours to file a missing person thing is a myth. She wasn’t where she said she’d be when she said and wasn’t responding to any communication. She was in fact a missing person at that point.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. Her behavior is absolutely irresponsible. She deserves a DCF investigation if she can’t be bothered to even respond. ETA: If this were like, some serious one-time emergency, I’d think “oh wow, a one-time emergency. Maybe she, for whatever reason, wasn’t able to get back to you. “. But no, this is a repeated deal.

ecto1a2003 −  3 am she notices!?

Wonderingicon626 −  Im gonna go with NTA you gave her warning she was well beyond the time she gave you to be home they arent your kids. They are safe regardless. She should have considered the consequences of her actions. I do hope the father is stable though thats my only concern.

nebagram −  NTA. 30-odd minutes late is excusable. But she told you- in writing- that she’d be our for 3 hours, and ended up staying out for 9. That’s not something that happens by accident. And not being contactable by your babysitter is rank negligence. What if one of her kids had had an accident? Oh yes, she’d have blamed that on you as well. Nothing more important than her fun, and that includes her kids. Stand your ground. And maybe warn any other babysitters who she might try to con into working for her in the future.

Romeejo −  Well I think you’re NTA. You’re not being petty. It’s her actions that have caused this situation not yours. She has shown a total lack of concern for the welfare of her children.

JustheBean −  NTA you gave her every opportunity under the sun to create a better outcome. You gave her several warnings, and even made sure she got them. Instead she attempted to hold you hostage for 300% of the agreed upon time. You gave her every consideration.

Your friend however, was being an ass. You were not being petty. She *did* abandon those children. She knew she did not have childcare for those 6 hours and chose to stay out of the home and make herself unreachable instead. Petty would be doing it after she’s late one time by an hour. This was leaving her children without a caregiver in the middle of the night. At a certain point, you had to go home, and calling the police was the only way to ensure they were safe for you to leave.

Your friend needs to pull her head out of her ass. If this mother hadn’t done anything wrong, they would not have launched a formal investigation. It’s not petty to report negligence that really is happening. And if she identifies more with a mother who can’t be bothered than you, and will shame you about it, that seems like all you need to know about the future of that friendship. Obviously the mother is a flaming a**hole as well. But I think we all understand why.

Edit: you should ask your friend if leaving kids in a situation *so harmful* that they can be removed is really worth it to be polite. I’d love to hear her try to justify that one.

[Reddit User] −  NTA: She is an adult and a parent. If she cared about her kids then she should have come home at the time she said she would, or atleast give you an update. She saw your text and still didn’t care. She was calling your bluff. If she does lose her kids that is her fault. Not yours. You gave her warning with enough time to come home.

She would have done this to other babysitters. So she was eventually going to have an DCF investigation. If the kids are taken away, they should hopefully be giving to the father who hopefully is a better parent. If they are not taken away, well then lets hope the mother learned her lesson.

SirEDCaLot −  NTA. She literally abandoned her kids, went intentionally unreachable. What if there had been an emergency? Besides, you communicated several times what was going to happen. The fact that she chose to ignore it is her problem not yours. She could easily have said she’d be out late at the beginning and offered to pay you for an overnight. Then there’d be no problem.

But what she did was prioritize her night out over you and also over her children. That’s why DCF is involved, and rightly so. When she asks if potentially losing her kids was worth being petty, ask her back if potentially losing her kids was worth not checking her phone during her night on the town.

mmahowald −  NTA. She is a terrible client and does not appear to take her role as a mother all that seriously. you will probably not see any pay from this job though.