AITA for calling out my grandparents for stuff they said to my mom in front of their friends and extended family?’

A 16-year-old girl overhears her grandparents making hurtful remarks about her mother, who suffered from postpartum psychosis after her birth. The grandparents criticized her mom for crying and called her a “lunatic” for having only one child. The teen confronts her grandparents in front of the family,

expressing how wrong it was to shame her mother, especially knowing the context of her illness. The family now views her as disrespectful, and she’s wondering if she should have handled it privately. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for calling out my grandparents for stuff they said to my mom in front of their friends and extended family?’

My parents and I (16f) spent Saturday with my dad’s family. So when my mom went MIA for a bit longer than usual I went looking for her and found her upset. She said nothing was wrong. But an hour later I heard my grandparents call her a bad mom and I stopped and admittedly I eavesdropped on what they were saying.

They were saying mom should be ashamed for crying where I could see and how did my dad ever let her raise me with him when she abandoned me when I was a baby for weeks and didn’t even care about me back then. They said mom was a l**atic and should be ashamed of herself for ruining my life.

The context to that is my mom had PPP (post-partum psychosis) after I was born. She got really sick and spent 11 weeks in a hospital/treatment center to help her because she was really at risk. My dad tried to get her help but a lot of people dismissed him.

I was maybe 8 or 9 weeks old before someone took him seriously and helped him with mom and got her the help she needed. The experience left them both with trauma and it took mom a long time to recover fully. But when she had, they were afraid to risk more kids and so they decided they were one and done with me.

I’ve always been aware of this. So hearing my grandparents speak to mom like that was awful. Mom left them while I was still eavesdropping and she pulled me away and said it was okay.

A while later a group of us were in the kitchen eating and my grandparents were making comments about how lucky some people were to have lots of grandkids and how much it helps when each kid has more than one. My dad was like wtf at them.

That’s when I brought up how s**tty they were to make more digs at more. I called them out on it. I said it was disgusting and mom didn’t deserve the s**t they said. My grandparents told me that I didn’t understand and I know they love me. I said they sure didn’t talk like that.

I said calling my mom a l**atic and rubbing it in her face that she only had me and no more with dad, when they know she was sick after me, made it seem like they I wasn’t enough for them. I also said it was s**tty to shame a woman who made the safest choice for her family.

My dad was furious with his parents and asked what the hell was going on. They slipped up and basically confessed that they’d been saying s**t to mom since I was a baby and always went behind everyone’s backs so we wouldn’t know.

They tried to lecture me about calling them out but dad shut it down and asked me and mom to wait in the car. Apparently some of the extended family are anti-me now for calling out my grandparents in front of others and my grandparents are also saying how disrespectful I am.

Dad raged at anyone who blamed me. But I do wonder if I should have handled it more privately? Like telling dad instead of calling them out like that.. AITA?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Chilling_Storm −  BRAVA!!!!!! Go you!!! You are a great kid defending your mom like that and calling out your grandparents bullshittery, and it was even better that everyone understand that this has been going on for 16 bloody years. because if you didn’t, your grandparents would have LIED.

Now everyone knows what terribly mean hateful people your grandparents are when it comes to your mother. I can’t image what your poor mother has had to suffer through alone for all these years. ((((((hugs to you all)))))). Giant NTA you are a hero!!

Lunar-Eclipse0204 −  NTA – if they can say negative to others about your mom, then they can take back what they dish in front of those same people. You did nothing wrong, your parents should be proud of you.

lmmontes −  NTA. You defended you mom for being bullied by them over so many years. She went through so much and pulled through. They deserved to be called out.

crazyheather345 −  NTA. You are brave. Braver than most adults could ever hope to be. Many, many adults simply stand by and stay silent rather than stand up to people they *know* are in the wrong. Never lose your courage or that will to do the right thing.

The world is going to try to force your most noble instincts out of you, try with all your might to never give in.

LindenSpritz −  NTA. Your grandparents were cruel to your mom, and you were right to call them out. They were disrespectful, not you. Your dad backed you up, and you stood up for your mom. You did the right thing.

Difficult_Humor_9799 −  I’m not crying,, okay, I’m crying. It’s a bit difficult to read what I’m writing now.. I have a child.. I didn’t have severe depression after giving birth, but far from being in good shape.

Hearing someone stand up for their mother over something that still probably bothers her, that she wasn’t there in the beginning. She must be so proud of you❤️. As for what you said, talking crap about the mother of her grandson for years,

THEY DESERVE TO HAVE THE TRUTH SLAMMED AT THEM! Am so angry on your mother’s behalf. I can’t write more now, this brought back old and not very good memories.. NTA

Ok_Storm1343 −  Your parents have to be so incredibly proud of you. This is called good trouble – you did absolutely nothing wrong. NTA

Jocelyn-1973 −  NTA. You did the best thing you could have done. It is a good time to learn that a lot of people HATE being called on stuff, especially the ones who like to keep judging other people for decades for stuff that wasn’t even something to judge when it actually happened.

JeepersCreepers74 −  NTA. Why should they be allowed to call your mom out for 16 straight years without repercussion but you’re somehow the bad guy for calling them out once?

bathroomstallghost −  NTA good on you for sticking up for your mom. its sad to hear how long its been going

Did she go too far by confronting her grandparents in front of others, or was it justified? What do you think? Share your thoughts below!