AITA for calling my sister the “favorite child”?

A 15-year-old girl feels her younger sister (13F) is consistently treated better by their mom. The sister often gets more leniency, fewer rules, and enjoys repeated trips to places like a nearby theme park, while the older sister’s activities and friends are heavily scrutinized.

Recently, their mom took the older sister and her friend to the park, asking her not to mention it to the younger sister to avoid jealousy. Despite this, the mom now plans a trip specifically for the younger sister after she expressed disappointment.

Frustrated, the older sister called her sibling the “favorite child,” leading to a family argument. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for calling my sister the “favorite child”?’

I, 15F, have a sister, 13F, and she’s always been treated better than me. I try to brush it off, but it’s getting more obvious. She gets more things, spends more money when out without being reprimanded. My mom (45F) pays very little attention to her social life, while my friends are almost always a topic of conversation.

She gets away with almost everything, and my mom even got mad at me for sending a meme she didn’t understand (100% appropriate for her to see, nothing bad at all). Recently, my mom took me and my friend to a theme park near our house (about an hour drive away).

I’ve only been one time before with some family friends, and my sister has been about 5 times with her friends. The whole time before we left to pick up my friend, my mom was telling me not to mention it to her. She knew we were going, but my mom didn’t want her to be jealous.

The times my sister went with her friends, she bragged about it a ton. To clarify, her friends invited her to go, not the other way around. After I got back (we were gone for roughly 6 hours, but my sister had sports my dad took her to), my sister was upset she wasn’t able to go.

The park was closing for the season soon, and she wouldn’t be able to go. Now, my mom has been making plans to take her and someone because she got so jealous of me. I tried to talk to her about how it was unfair, and she had already been many more times than me, despite me liking roller coasters more.

She told me that she was “giving us equal opportunity”. I told her that if I were the one who was jealous, I would have to “deal with jt” because I’m older, and told her she clearly favors my sister. My mom blew up, and now my family is angry with me. So, AITA?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

FireBallXLV −  If your sister gets to go more often because her friends invite her -what is the basis of your jealousy ? Do your parents give her money every time to go or is she just using an allowance you both receive ?

Are you jealous she has more friends and therefore more opportunities for social events ? That would not be something your Mom controls other then giving her permission to go.

FireBallXLV −  Please clarify-did your sister get to go more times because she was invited those times with friends? So that your mom was NOT her transportation?

rockology_adam −  YTA. I get where you’re coming from, but you’re out of line. Your mother took you to the amusement park. She takes an interest in your social life. She asked you not to aggravate your sister talking about the park. That sounds like asking you to be helpful to her, frankly, to avoid your sister being an absolutely pain about it.

In ten or fifteen years, you’ll feel very different about this situation. That doesn’t help now. You’re feeling a certain way because of the way you perceive the specifics, not the big picture. That’s very teenager of you. I don’t say that to put you down. Our points of view change dramatically through our lives.

Take a breath. Take a step back. You and your sister are different people and have different needs. Are yours met? Aside from this jealousy, are you generally happy at home?

polandreh −  INFO: She gets more things, spends more money when out without being reprimanded. Who gives her these ‘things’? Whose money is she spending? She gets away with almost everything. Can you provide some examples?

I’ve only been one time before with some family friends, and my sister has been about 5 times with her friends. Why haven’t _your_ friends invited you? Do they not go as often as your sister’s? Could it be that your sister is not the “favorite child” but just the “social child”?

benbever −  I feel sorry for your mother. She takes you and your friend to an amusement park, an hour(!) away. And after that she has to deal with your jealousy. Stop counting things your sister did, stop comparing who likes things more.

Bambam_26_ −  As the older sibling I totally understand how you feel. I always felt like my sister got away with so much more than I did growing up because i was the oldest and I “should know better”. She was the baby of the family and definitely played on that at times.

As an adult, I still feel that, at times things were unfair, but remeber, being a parent doesnt come with an instruction manual and your parents are just muddling through the best they can. Sometimes adults get it wrong and at your age you’re probably starting to realise that. It’s a hard lesson!

My advice would be, let this one go, it’s not that big a deal although it might not feel that way right now. Ultimately, your mum did something nice with you and yeah it sucks that your sisters been a bit bratty but that’s kind of what younger siblings do sometimes!

CarbonationRequired −  Yes YTA. It’s not “favouritism” that makes it so your sister gets invited by people outside the family to go wherever. If you wanna go places with friends, find some friends who want to take you places, I guess.

It’s not “favouritism” for your mother to want you to keep your mouth shut and avoid your little sister pissing and moaning after hearing about you doing something fun (the same way you are doing now). It’s not “favouritism” for your mom to take you each to the same place.

Your sister having friends who take her places has nothing to do with what your parents do for you. It’s fine, you’ll grow out of having your head up your ass eventually. Being a teenager sucks and is hard.

Chilling_Storm −  Seems your mother is taking your sister because you sister hadn’t been taken by her, as you just were. Ask if you can also go with them.

rae_bb −  I don’t even understand this situation. It just sounds like past resentment built up and you’ve decided this is the breaking point. Your sister most likely feels jealous because you guys spent time alone while you only see it as she’s mad she didn’t get to go this one time.

IMO NAH, your just young and constantly compare yourself to your sister. It’s ok to feel what you’re feeling but you should be reminded to practice empathy. Ask your sister why she would be upset. You might be surprised by the answer  . Edit- forgot to mention, it’s time to have a heart to heart with your mother about how you’re feeling about what’s going on at home.

Ilikeswanss −  ESH for me, it isn’t your sister’s fault that she got more invites to go than you did. But at the same time I feel like she’s over reacting to you going when she has gone plenty of times. Everyone needs to calm down

Is she wrong for voicing her frustrations, or is her reaction justified given the circumstances? have you ever felt similarly in your family? share your perspective below!