AITA for calling my husband unreasonable for canceling the holiday trip just because me and the kids coupdn’t help him in an emergency?

A Reddit user shares a conflict with their husband after he canceled the family holiday trip due to feeling unsupported during a family emergency. When the user’s husband had to rush to the hospital for his father’s medical emergency, their two older children (17m and 19f) refused to help watch their younger sibling, and the user was out meeting her brother. Feeling abandoned, the husband lashed out and canceled the trip. The user wonders if they were in the wrong for calling him unreasonable. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for calling my husband unreasonable for canceling the holiday trip just because me and the kids coupdn’t help him in an emergency?’

My husband and I have been together for 4 years. I have two kids (17m /19f). and their half brother is 3 years old. this past week. My husband had an emergency (dad had a medical emergency) and wanted someone to watch our son. he asked my older son and he refused because he was going out with friends.

he also asked my daughter but she locked herself in her room to study. I was at the restaurant with my brother meeting his girlfriend for the first time. My husband ended up taking our son with him to the hospital and his mom watched him from there.

He came home and was lashing out on everybody. Calling us s**fish and unfeeling. I tried to explain that the kids were busy but he told me to get the f out with that bull because my older son could’ve skipped the hangout and watched his brother and, my daughter could’ve watched her brother while studying instead of locking herself in her room.

He scolded me as well but I told him I couldn’t leave lunch with my brother since he was visiting town and this was my only chance to meet his girlfriend. He yelled some more than told us that he was canceling the family holiday trip for christmas this year.

The two older kids were upset and said it was unfair. I called him unreasonable to cancel the trip and punish the kids (and possibly me) like that. he refused to discuss it later. Now me and the kids aren’t speaking to him and he’s saying “good riddance”

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Alarming_Reply_6286 −  YTA. Let’s fix the title of your post: My husband canceled our holiday trip because my kids & I are unreasonable & he just found out that we couldn’t care less about him or his family. Edit — Thank You kind award givers! ETA more — Seriously, OP stop adding edits!! You are so far away from being helpful to anyone, including yourself in this situation. Just stop. It appears you & your older kids will be getting consequences this year for Christmas

gleaming-the-cubicle −  YTA. Medical emergency hanging out. Medical emergency studying. Medical emergency lunchie munchies

Caspian4136 −  YTA. When there’s a family emergency, you drop everything to help. Meeting your brother’s girlfriend for the first time is not a valid excuse not to go watch the 3yo, I mean WTF? Clearly you put your husband very low on your list of priorities.. I don’t blame him for cancelling, you guys don’t deserve it.

razorbock −  YTA and the two kids, Its not that you COULDN’T help him its that you WOULDN’T help him and actions have consequences, if you don’t do the work you don’t get the reward

Prize_Fox_9163 −  YTA. I was at the restaurant with my brother meeting his girlfriend for the first time.. And you are his mother?? he refused because he was going out with friends. It was a f emergency and you turned your back to your husband and your son. You three, especially you OP, are shocking. Poor guys, what a horrible family they have.

You’d be lucky if he only cancels the holydays. ETA thanks for all the upvotes and to the anonymous redditor that awarded this comment! ETA2 thank you, u/Blonderoastme, for the award!. ETA3: an update from OP: He’s now choosing to basically _abandon_ us on christmas and also _keep our son away from me and his siblings_.

Are you serious?. You three abandoned your husband. You three kept the toddler away from you. Honestly, don’t you think you have made enough damage to your image? And yes, be prepared,most probably you’re going to be served papers sooner or later.. Congrats.

ETA4: thanks u/Arcana013 for the award. ETA5: thanks to the anonymous redditor that awarded this comment. ETA6: thanks u/Kittenspangles

michelleinAZ −  Just to add, the 3yo is your son too. Your husband had a genuine emergency, and instead of reacting with compassion you HAD to stay at the restaurant? This doesn’t even add up. The father’s wife had to watch the toddler while her husband was being treated? If this is real, I’m going with YTA.

Lady-Athena1987 −  YTA. Any single one of you could, and should have dropped what you were doing. You were all s**fish. Nothing any of you were doing was life and d**th, meanwhile what your husband was dealing with could have been. You all s**k. That poor man has no support from his own damn family

Lopsided-Aioli9476 −  Yikes…YTA (you, your son and your daughter). And I don’t blame him for canceling the trip. Seems to me you 3 are very self-centered. Also, isn’t this your son as well? Sorry, but I think you could have easily picked up YOUR kid for lunch and / or invited your brother and his girlfriend back to your place to watch him.

The same goes to your son and daughter. Your son could have canceled hanging out with his friends for one day, and your daughter was home and could have easily watched him. You 3 made things more difficult and stressful for your husband and not only that, were you not even concerned for your FIL?

timeytrooper −  Congratulations on raising 2 kids who are exactly like you. S**fish.. It was a medical emergency. I divorced my husband over a medical emergency when he left me hanging.. Enjoy your single life.. YTA

ieya404 −  Here are a few scenarios. * “Hey, sorry, I really want to spend more time getting to meet your girlfriend, but my father-in-law has a medical emergency so I need to look after my son so that my husband can go to him.”

* “Hey guys, sorry, I won’t be able to hang out today, I need to look after my lil brother because his dad needs to go to HIS dad for a medical emergency.” * “Hey self, I need to spend a bit of time with my stepbrother because his dad’s dad has a medical emergency.” How many of those sound unreasonable? Is it none of them? YTA. Way to make your husband think you don’t care about him, his father, or your son. Please rethink your priorities.

Was the husband justified in canceling the holiday trip as a reaction to feeling unsupported, or was his response too harsh? Should the older kids have been more willing to help out? How would you handle a family emergency in this situation? Share your thoughts below!