AITA for calling my husband a grumpy pants?

A woman recounts a Saturday morning with her husband that started off leisurely but quickly turned sour. While preparing for their usual breakfast walk, her husband got upset upon discovering his book had been in her bag, even though it was undamaged. Later, as they prepared to leave,

she jokingly referred to him as “Mr. Grumpy Pants” in front of their dog. Her husband responded sharply, saying he “can’t deal with her this morning.” Hurt by the comment, she stormed out and is now reflecting on the situation. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for calling my husband a grumpy pants?’

This morning (Saturday), we slept in late, took our time doing the chores and it was already almost nine before my husband and I were getting ready to go for a walk to find some breakfast. It’s a pretty regular Saturday morning routine to go out and walk together to get breakfast.

Anyway, as we were getting ready to go he sees me take a book out of my bag of holding and set it on the table. He says, “did you have my book in your bag!!!?” And I said yeah, “I told you our daughter was reading it yesterday when we were out.” And he says, “but I didn’t know you put it in your bag!”

And I get it, he takes better care of books than I do in general, but I the book was fine. He only knew it was in a bag because he saw me take it out, not because it was damaged. Anyway, I explained why I had it and that it was fine, he was like I don’t want it going in your bag, it was annoying, but whatever.

So then I’m getting my shoes on to go for our walk and my dog comes up because he thinks he’s going. And I say, sorry dog, I’m going out with Mr grumpy pants this time, not you. To which my husband replies, “No you’re not. I can’t deal with you this morning.”

And… Now I’m sitting alone a few blocks away crying after storming out. I always really enjoy our walks and thought it was mutual and f**k if that statement that it was “dealing with me” didn’t stick right in the gut.. So who’s the a**hole?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

stroppo −  Can someone please explain what is wrong with putting a book in a bag? I don’t get it. If I take a book with me when I leave home, I always put it in a bag as it’s easier to carry that way. And to keep it from getting damaged or lost.

ProfessionalAir445 −  As a librarian I am utterly baffled over why it’s an issue to put a book in a bag. The only issue I ever have is middle schoolers throwing books into their book bags with loose crayons, not adults putting books into tote bags…. which is a totally normal thing? Everyone else in these comments seems to understand. . What is going on here?

GoodWitchesOnly −  It’s passive aggressive to talk to your husband via your dog.. You were probably both hungry. It’s possible he is reacting to a pattern of being dismissed and not this one event.

Lizwings −  YTA.  You apologized to the dog, but you apparently never apologized to your husband for not treating his belongings as carefully as you know he’d like them to be treated.  . And then you mocked his feelings.

Manager-Tough −  The passive aggressive talking to me through the dog & calling me a name for something that it really sounds like he’s asked you not to do before, would’ve also pissed me off. Then you storming off and CRYING about it? Maybe he should call you Mrs Crybaby Pants.. YTA.

4games1 −  YTA. I think you need to reverse this. If he did something that upset you, and you ask him not to do it, and he agreed-ish, and then he proceeded to blame you for everything because you are just being crabby, would that be okay?

I think you should apologize. For kinda blowing him off about how you treat something of his and for then blaming the whole thing on him.

DickMcLongCock −  NTA. Everyone else in here is crazy. You put his book in a bag (😱) and called him grumpy. I would have called him f**king ridiculous for having a hissy fit over you putting his book in a bag, a book he lent to your kid, and told him you’re going by yourself while he figures out why he’s having a fit over nothing.

EmbarrassedSpecial54 −  INFO: what else goes in your bag? What type of bag is it? I keep books in my bag all the time, but I won’t let my partner put their (occasionally leaky) water bottle in there if I’m carrying a book or something else that might get damaged.

Ultimately, I think this comes down to exactly why your husband doesn’t want you putting his books in your bag. If he’s overracting because one of his books got damaged in your bag in a freak accident or because the corner of a paperback cover got bent once, then N T A.

There are plenty of people who act like a dog eared page is the end of the world when to me it’s a sign the book is getting used. But if you have seriously damaged several books (ripped covers or pages, water damage, ink spills, etc)

he has asked you to be careful with and he has since decided that he can no longer trust you to take care of these things that are important to him, then Y T A. If he’s overracting, then yeah it’s fair to call him out on being grumpy.

But if you have a habit of being careless, then you insulting him when called out for doing something he has explicitly asked you not to is a fair reason for him to be upset.

Educational_Mess_362 −  Im honestly kinda surprised at most of these responses? Everyones saying you invalidated his feelings but ?? Where? As soon as he saw the book it seems he was immediately mad instead of having a calm conversation with you, which would upset me.

Maybe he was frustrated cause theres a history about the book thing there. Fine. But you clearly state “i get it, he takes better care of books” so to me you are acknowledging his feelings right there. You explained why it was in there, he loaned it to your daughter so obviously hes okay with it possibly being damaged, and she asked you to hold it.

The bag was empty and it was safer with you then just thrown in the car. Then people say you were belittling or rude by the remarking to the dog but again I feel like that wasnt bad. You were most likely trying to joke or break the tension by using such a harmless normally joking term but he flipped out.

I honestly wish there was a “no ones the ass here” option. I think this was a miscommunication that couldve been handled better on both ends but i dont agree with how people came at you.

But that just shows that people truly have different views, feelings, and communication styles. Which is extremely important to learn in relationships to avoid fights or hurting each others feelings.

tosser9212 −  I wanted to be nice here… You took his book without asking (told him afterwards,) kept it overnight in a bag (his book and you’re storing it in a manner he wouldn’t,) you get annoyed at a reasonable request to store it properly, and you call him names due to your annoyance.

Such basic disrespect. I found myself wondering as I read along, how often do you ignore his wants, needs, or concerns – dismissing him without a thought or simply as annoying to you?. YTA.

Misunderstandings and jokes can sometimes hit the wrong note, especially during tense moments. Was calling her husband “grumpy pants” playful or dismissive? Did his reaction escalate things unnecessarily? what do you think? share your thoughts below!