AITA for calling my cousin’s ex to come get their daughter and refusing to watch her for the night?

A Reddit user shared their story of babysitting their cousin’s child, only to find themselves abandoned for the night without notice. Faced with an overwhelming situation, they made the controversial decision to call the child’s father for help. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for calling my cousin’s ex to come get their daughter and refusing to watch her for the night?  

I (15F) used to be really close with my cousin, C (17F), who had her daughter, P, last year. Since we’re close in age, I’ve always supported her, especially during her pregnancy and unstable relationship with P’s dad. I’ve spent time with P a lot—taking her to the park or the gallery—and when C asked me to babysit one evening while she went out with friends, I agreed because I love both of them.

Everything went fine until 11:30, the time C said she’d be back. She didn’t show up, didn’t call, and didn’t answer my texts. Since P was asleep, I decided to wait, assuming she lost track of time. But hours passed with no word from C, which wasn’t like her, so I got really worried. I tried contacting her friends and checking her location, but she’d turned it off. This was odd since she’d always shared her location with me.

Finally, she texted around 3:00 AM saying she was staying over at a friend’s because it was late, and she didn’t want to pay for a taxi. By this point, I was exhausted and upset—C had left me in the dark and essentially made me watch P all night without asking. If she had communicated her plans, I might’ve agreed, but it felt unfair to assume I’d stay, especially since I’m only 15.

At first, I decided to wait it out until morning and talk to C later, but P woke up screaming, and I couldn’t get her back to sleep. Feeling o**rwhelmed, I called P’s dad (C’s ex) for help. After explaining the situation, he came over with his mom to pick up P. I texted C to let her know where P was and stayed on her sofa for the night, planning to leave in the morning.

When I woke up, I had no response from C, so I went home and told my parents, who supported my decision. Later, C called me, furious, accusing me of betrayal and saying I’d “sided” with her ex. She also claimed I had dragged P into her issues with him. Despite trying to explain my perspective, she hung up. A few days later, she sent a long message reiterating how hurt she felt and blaming me for breaking her trust.

Since then, I’ve been bombarded with messages from C’s friends and even my aunt, saying I shouldn’t have called her ex and should’ve just stayed the night. But I’m confused because P regularly sees her dad, has stayed at his house before, and I never agreed to watch her overnight. Was I wrong to call P’s dad and not wait it out? Or was I right to do what I did?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

77Megg77 −  NTA. Your cousin was taking advantage of you. No responsible mother would fail to answer her phone when her baby is being watched by someone. If there had been a medical emergency, that would have been too much pressure on you.

I am thinking your cousin didn’t tell you that she was planning on staying out all night because she thought you might have refused to watch her child. Her behavior was totally irresponsible. You tried to get ahold of her and when she didn’t answer, you called the baby’s father.

She is acting like you just went home, leaving the baby alone in the house with the front door wide open. You did the responsible thing. Don’t let their comments upset you. She is just feeling guilty and probably embarrassed for setting you up for an overnight babysitting without warning you.

GenderedPhoenix −  You broke her trust? Hun, SHE broke YOURS. You’re 15, had no clear communication, no way to see when she’d be back until super late in the night… Honestly I don’t think I would have been able to have had such a clear mind at 15, to contact her ex, among the stress of the lack of contact, the baby crying, etc. You were responsible. Did the right things. Still kept a mature sense of mind through all of this.

Honestly? Even though I don’t know you, I’m proud of how you handled everything. What I DON’T like is how your cousin, aunt, and cousin’s friends are basically harassing you, making you out to be the bad person in all of this. Don’t let them drag you down though, or let them make you think that you did wrong.

Them being upset at you makes no sense to me, especially since P has been at her dad’s house before. Because of this, you being told that you’re “dragging P through your cousin’s issues with her ex” makes no sense to me.. NTA. I hope this’ll all wind down soon and you’ll be able to relax and not deal with this any longer.

black_bongwater −  Nta, shes mad at you for calling P’s dad bc you’re an o**rwhelmed 15 year old with a screaming child? What else did she want you to do? You never sided with her ex, you just called so he could pick up his kid. She sounds irresponsible for a mother

Tortietude0 −  Are you and all these commenters just bots? Is no one going to question where the ADULTS are in all this? Why not call your parents when she didn’t show up? Is your cousin’s family not also living in the house you stayed at with P? Why are you taking a less than one year old to the gallery? I call b**lshit.

Lazy-Instruction-600 −  NTA. Ask her if she would have preferred you to call the police and had CPS visiting her to investigate child n**lect and a**ndonment? She never should have left you hanging until after 3am! And to not respond to your calls and texts?

What if something bad had happened and a medical provider needed her to make medical decisions? If she wanted to stay out late and party with her friends, she shouldn’t have had a baby at 16. Now she’s a mother and she needs to grow up, whether she wants to or not.

Tally0987654321 −  NTA She ditched you and you didn’t know how to handle a crying baby. She should have either told you whom to call in case of emergency (her Mom or someone if she didn’t want ex called) OR he em available herself as the actual mother. You did nothing wrong. She just doesn’t like having to deal with the fallout and her ex over what she did. She’s young and made a bad decision. Hopefully she learns from it and does better

Clean_Factor9673 −  NTA. By letting her get away with that she’d have expected to just tell you anything and stay out all night. Good for you to call dad. Tell your aunt etc that you could’ve called the police or child protection. Do not babysit for your cousin again.

West-Resource-1604 −  NTA. Am I understanding this correctly? 15yo supposed to be responsible adult for 1yo until late, turns into an all-nighter. Mother informs her she doesn’t want to come home as agreed. Cannot calm infant down cannot get child’s mother to respond so contacts child’s father. What in this scenario is incorrect?. Target points:

1. Infant has 2 parents. Not just 1. Not just mom

2. No 15 yo should be doing an all-nighter

3. OP is being taken advantage of by cousin, who has a right to be concerned that her irresponsibility can be used to bolster dad’s 50/50 custody request

3xlduck −  NTA.. This is all pretty much C’s fault. Lesson learned, do not baby sit for her again….

BeneficialLilian −  You did what you felt was best in a tough situation. You had no clear communication from C and were left alone to handle everything. Calling P’s dad wasn’t a betrayal; it was about getting her the care she needed. You weren’t wrong to set boundaries.

Do you think the user made the right decision in calling the child’s father? Should they have waited for the mother to return, or was the lack of communication a valid reason to involve the father? How would you have handled this situation? Share your thoughts below!