AITA for calling my brother an “insecure, t***icle grabbing, chauvinist man-b*by” over his comments about my wife’s makeup?

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A man confronted his brother after he accused his wife of wearing makeup to cheat or attract attention from other men. The brother aggressively pushed the idea despite being told it wasn’t true. Frustrated, the man snapped and called his brother an “insecure, t***icle-grabbing, chauvinist man-baby.” While he wonders if he went too far with the insult, he stands by his belief that his wife’s makeup is just a fun, creative hobby. Read the full story below.

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‘ AITA for calling my brother an “insecure, t***icle grabbing, chauvinist man-b*by” over his comments about my wife’s makeup?’

That’s the actual quote. I’m still pissed as hell but maybe I went too far here. My brother and I are both late 30s. We get along fine most of the time, but my brother doesn’t do well in a lot of social situations. He says things that are inappropriate, gets overly opinionated, yells a lot etc.

He just doesn’t seem to understand tact or when to let things go in a casual conversation. Our wives are best friends. They talk almost everyday on FaceTime. My wife is an ex model/actress (local) and very good with makeup.

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She’s in her mid 30’s, we have 3 kids and she doesn’t wear much makeup anymore – but she got some as a gift for Christmas and decided she wanted to get more. Apparently she’s been buying cheap stuff and she wanted to splurge on some good s**t.

Anyway, she’s been testing it all out over the last month, buying more here and there and doing these crazy eyeshadow things – honestly I don’t know what I’m talking about. She looks great all the time. She’s gorgeous without makeup. She’s really talented with it though and she’s having a lot of fun.

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I tease her a little since she works from home and she’s wearing pajamas but her makeup looks like she’s at a nightclub. I think it’s cute and funny. My brother thinks she’s doing it because she’s cheating or she wants to cheat.

He called me this morning to say he’s concerned because he’s seen her on FaceTime and he’s decided she must be posting pictures or sending pics to some dude or multiple dudes. I tried to blow it off and explain that it wasn’t that way, but he got more aggressive about it so I ended up yelling at him and shouting the insecure t***icle man b*by thing.

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He’s being ridiculous and needs to mind his own business. But I think I might be the a**hole for blowing up and name calling when he’s probably well intentioned. I want to add too (my mom and brother both asked, maybe other people will): No, I haven’t asked my wife why she’s recently starting wearing more makeup and I’m not going to because I think asking is f**king rude.

She’s spending her money on stuff for her face and it’s a creative hobby. I’m not going to be the d**k that ruins someone’s creative outlet by asking them to justify it or by insinuating there’s a sinister motive behind it. It makes her happy so I assume that’s why she’s doing it. Asking why is dumb and insulting in my opinion.

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Here’s how people reacted to the post:

MistressOfNecropolis −  NTA. When I wear makeup, I do it *for me*. No my husband or any other man. Me. Many women are the same way. Your brother jumping to “she wants to cheat because she is wearing makeup again” is absolute misogynistic garbage and he needed a dressing down. You sound great and seem to really love and appreciate your wife as well as understand what being supportive means. Keep it up..

Eta: wow! Thanks for the awards!

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Jazzisa −  NTA. Your wife has a creative hobby she’s enjoying. We’re all just trying to survive this godawful pandemic…

shangib723 −  NTA it sounds like you truly love your wife and you appreciate her. Make-up absolutely does not indicate she’s cheating. It’s probably an indication of boredom

meggymoo88 −  I think you may have been a little sensitive to your brothers comments, but I do commend you for standing up for your wife. Is there any possibility your brother may be on the autistic spectrum? I only ask as you said

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my brother doesn’t do well in a lot of social situations. He says things that are inappropriate, gets overly opinionated, yells a lot etc. He just doesn’t seem to understand tact or when to let things go in a casual conversation. I’m no expert by any means, but this does remind me a little of my child.. .

I_am_Rubber −  NTA. You’re a good person. I would guess your brother was well-intentioned, but for the wrong reasons. And maybe this name-calling didn’t quite convey to him _why_ what he was saying was wrong. You may need to have a calm heart-to-heart about him minding his own business once you have cooled down about it.

ImpossibleBop −  NTA. That’s just accurate. He absolutely is a misogynist with weirdo hangups.

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FrostbittenFires −  just wanna say i love your attitude. reading your responses to comments saying how you know she does it for herself and not other people makes me so happy because so many men don’t seem to understand that. your brother is an a**hole. and you’re a wonderful person :). NTA

alwaysiamdead −  NTA at all, and good for you supporting your wife’s hobby. We’re all going a little nuts thanks to the current state of the world, so if this gives her something to do then… Good for her. Your brother is an a**hole.

chunkeymunkeyandrunt −  NTA. I rarely wear makeup cause I’m a lazy pile of trash. However, for NYE I went full glam (or at least what qualifies as full glam for _me_) for our Zoom party. And you bet I wore sweatpants and my comfy Crocs. But it was so nice to feel beautiful and bring back a little normalcy to life.

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And my boyfriend loved how I looked and gave me tons of compliments, but he knew it wasn’t for him. It was for me. Him liking it is just a happy bonus in my opinion!! Especially after your comment of her doing a drag king with glitter beard look, uh, she’s definitely doing this for fun and to stay sane!! Unless she’s ‘cheating’ with a secret lady lover who is into glitter beards? 😂

Illustrious-Band-537 −  NTA. I will be using this exact quotation on the next person that chews me out for the way I do my makeup and the stuff I buy.

When someone unfairly judges your partner, how far is too far in standing up for them? Was the insult warranted, or should this brother have handled it differently? Share your thoughts below!

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