AITA for calling my BIL “intellectually lazy”?
The user has always had a negative impression of her sister’s boyfriend, Bob, who ridicules her interests and dismisses serious topics like politics. During a discussion about a recent political crisis, the user expressed her frustration with Bob’s refusal to engage in politics, calling it “intellectual laziness.”
This upset her sister, who then texted that she doesn’t want to see her anymore if she can’t respect Bob. read the original story below…
‘ AITA for calling my BIL “intellectually lazy”? ‘
I (22F) have a sister (24F) who’s dating Bob (26M). I’ll be honest, I never liked the guy. I met Bob in a semi-professionnel setting when I was volunteering as my sister’s PA for her student-owned radio show a few years back.
He came around once to help the technicians for a particularly big show and was insufferable. He was horrible to the point that I told my sister I would never step foot in the studio again if he was there. My sister graduated quickly after this and the show ended so the problem was forgotten.
Fast forward almost a year and my sister cheats on her long term boyfriend with Bob. Important to note that Bob was a college friend of the boyfriend and had introduced them. I always liked the ex bf because he was a nice guy and a good bf for my sister so I was bummed.
I still tried to put on a good face and be on my best behaviour around Bob because he’s the one my sister chose and it’s none of my business how it all went down. I tried to convince myself he was only insufferable in professional settings and that it’d be alright in private.
Wrong. I cannot do so much as express the tiniest bit of interest in something before he starts ridiculing it. Anything can be used as a mockery be it music, sports, even my literal thesis. He even makes fun of me for the interests we have in common. I just don’t get it.
The few times I tried talking to my sister about it she shuts it down saying it’s just jokes and he has an odd sense of humour. I still want to see my sister so I take it upon myself to not react when he says s**t like that about me.
Now, a few days ago, the far right came first in the European elections and the president of my country dissolved the lower chamber of the parliament. There’s barely 3 weeks before the next legislative elections and everyone is up in arms about how a political party founded by literal Nazis could get a hold on the government.
So, big things. I write my thesis about political extremism and I’m very involved in politics. As I was talking with my sister, the conversation drew us to this subject. She then said that her boyfriend doesn’t vote since he doesn’t know anything about politics and that he is scared of doing the wrong thing.
That pissed me off. Bob is a grown man, who owns and runs multiple businesses but politics are too complicated for him? In a moment of anger I regret, I told my sister that her boyfriend’s disinterest in politics was coming from a place of privilege,
that he could afford not to care about politics because it would not affect him in any way shape of form and that it was purely intellectual laziness with a poor excuse at that.
Let me tell know it did not go well. She just sent me a text saying that if I cannot respect her man then she doesn’t want to see me anymore. AITA for saying that about him? Should I have kept my mouth shut to keep the peace (even though I do think it’s true)?
See what others had to share with OP:
Street-Media4225 − NTA “Politics are complicated :(“ is not a valid explanation for *not voting against Nazis.* Its up to you to decide if your relationship with your sister is worth keeping your mouth shut about this guy.
RelevantSchool1586 − NTA. “intellectually lazy”, I’m totally stealing thatÂ
No_Roof_1910 − “I still tried to put on a good face and be on my best behaviour around Bob because he’s the one my sister chose and it’s none of my business how it all went down.”. The hell it isn’t OP.
MANY people do NOT support their cheating siblings, best friends etc. and sadly others do. I don’t support cheaters, remain friend with them etc. and I’m not alone in this either.
—fork— − NTA Do you ever just meet with your sister, or is Bob always there? Your sister accepts Bob disrespecting you, but not you disrespecting Bob. She might be your sister, but the price of her friendship is that you take abuse from Bob. Is that a relationship worth preserving?
bostoncrabapple − NTA, you’re spot on, it is intellectually lazy if it’s a choice to not bother informing himself because he knows it will have minimal impact on his life Large sections of the population not bothering to be involved or informed about politics is exactly why we live in the hellscape that we do
TheVelvetNo − Bob is a fascist who is too dumb to know he’s a fascist. He’s also a m**ipulative a**hole, as evidenced by everything else you shared here. These people always gravitate toward authorarianism because it strokes their ego. He’s a l**er.
Tell your sister she’s dating a l**er. She can learn the lesson now, or when he sells her out at some future date. They always do.
vt2022cam − NTA – but I do wish you said it to his face and not your sister. Regardless, your sister will likely tell him.
redfemscientist − Oh, une camarade française! C’est compliqué en ce moment de discuter avec les complaisants des nazis… NTA, je suis désolée que ton BIL soit effectivement un feignant intellectuel, je le suspecte d’etre un droitard non assumé.
hubertburnette − NTA. If the truth hurts, the problems isn’t with the truth.
lejosdecasa − NTA I told my sister that her boyfriend’s disinterest in politics was coming from a *place of privilege, that he could afford not to care about politics because it would not affect him in any way shape of form* and that it was purely intellectual laziness with a poor excuse at that. . OP’s right though.. Elections have consequences.
Was the user’s comment justified, or did she go too far? What do you think? Share your thoughts below!
