AITA for buying an Android Phone instead of an iPhone, thus probably causing illness symptoms for my mother?

A Reddit user (22M) recently switched from an iPhone to an Android phone, aiming for more independence and freedom from parental supervision through apps like “Find My.”

However, this decision upset their parents, particularly their mother, who reportedly experiences psychosomatic symptoms related to stress when unable to track her child’s location. As a student financially dependent on their parents, the user wonders if their decision was selfish or justified. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for buying an Android Phone instead of an iPhone, thus probably causing illness symptoms for my mother?’

Hey everybody, after 4 years of having an iPhone SE, and more of having other iPhones, I (age 22) recently bought an Android Phone (Samsung A25). This has lots of reasons, mainly storage issues, and my mother controlling me over the “find my” application from Apple.

She uses this to get herself more relaxed, sometimes she has digestion problems when my phone is apparently stuck in a shopping mall over night (because the battery died), just to give an example.

I am not able to turn the location of (I don’t know the password to the Apple ID, only my parents do, and they obviously don’t give it to me for this reason), so I had to buy an new Android phone as I consider myself old enough to live without their supervision.

I had a phone call with my father today, and he seemed not happy for what I had done. I am the first in my family not to have an iPhone, we need to transfer all data etc. and my mother will probably suffer under psychosomatic effects.

I should say that I’m a student, so I don’t have a regular revenue and depend roughly half on my parents when it comes to money.. Am I the AH for buying this phone?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Smart-Bird-5712 −  Good news, some freedom from constant surveillance will be nice and you will earn some independence you deserve. Bad news, Android phones can be just as easily used for tracking…https://www.google.com/android/find/about. Its not a technology issue, its a parenting issue.

TheMillennialDiaries −  NTA. You’re an adult, even if you’re still partially dependent on your parents because you’re a full time student. It’s not normal or healthy to obsess over your location, and you & your dad should be gently guiding your mom towards professional psychiatric help for her anxiety.

Set this boundary now, so that your parents can get used to treating you like the adult you are, and they won’t be learning to deal with this cold turkey when you graduate and presumably move out on your own permanently. Good luck, OP.

MissionCreeper −  NTA, your mom needs professional help.

Remote-Passenger7880 −  Enabling doesn’t actually help with her anxiety issues. She needs to work on the root of her issues, not track you because clearly what she’s been doing hasn’t been helping seeing as she still freaks out when your phone dies or is otherwise unable to accurately track you.

Tracking you is just a bandaid, it doesn’t actually solve her problems. She can’t rely on stalking you for the rest of her life. You’re an adult, you don’t need to be tracked 24/7. I highly recommend working towards financial independence because while you’re within your rights to not want to be tracked, they’re within their rights to not financially help you.

Lefty8312 −  NTA. You are a grown adult, even if you are still a student. You are entitled to choose what phone you want, and your mother needs to get help regarding her anxiety (which this very much seems to be). Your father needs to accept that his wife isn’t being rational and needs professional help.

Kip_Schtum −  NTA but your dad is for enabling her condition instead of getting her psychiatric treatment.

littlefennec −  NTA. Her psychocomatic effects are the lack of control of you.

falanian −  NTA. Your parents should not be tracking your location at that age. If your mother is claiming she literally worries sick about you, even though you’re an adult and she can contact you whenever she wants, she’s either not being totally honest or she should see a doctor. I have had psychosomatic anxiety in the past that caused gas, as well as joint pain and a feverish feeling. Now I’m on Prozac. It no longer happens.

Hers seems more situational and she just might need time to adjust or to talk to her friends or a therapist (I know not everyone likes therapy, but it doesn’t *need* to be a therapist she talks this through with. If she knows other moms they could probably reassure her that it’s time you become independent).

Either way, being a trigger for anxiety isn’t really the same thing as ‘causing’ it. Think PTSD. If someone honks their horn at a vet and she has an episode, they didn’t cause that underlying condition and really have no control over how it flares up. Same deal here.

OkGrapefruit7174 −  NTA, but what the hell is wrong with your parents. Don’t they do something with their lives instead of stalking you on find my iphone? That sounds weird AF. Tbh I don’t even think you need to be an adult to not want your parents to stalk you 24/7. You’re 22, they don’t have a say over you anymore.

National_Pension_110 −  NTA but if it had been me, I would have bought a new iPhone and set up my own Apple ID. Sux for me when I see people’s texts come in as SMS in a group chat, lol. But hey, if you like the android, I say go for it. But if you prefer an iPhone, just get your own Apple ID.

Personally, I like sharing my location with family so they don’t have to ask me where I am but I don’t really have any interesting locales with my travels that I might want to keep from my parents. Not that my parents would know how to use location tracking anyway.

Was the user wrong to prioritize independence over their parents’ peace of mind, especially while still partially relying on them financially? Or should their parents respect their autonomy at this stage in life? Share your thoughts below!