AITA for Bringing My Daughter to a Child-Free Wedding?

A Redditor (19F) was recently caught up in drama after bringing her 2-year-old daughter to a child-free wedding. The bride, who knew about the last-minute babysitting issue, happily approved, but tension surfaced at the reception.

The groom’s mother made a hurtful comment about the child “not fitting the family” and later posted on social media, adding more fuel to the fire. Now, the young mother is left wondering if she crossed a line by bringing her daughter. Read on for the full story and let us know what you think.

‘ AITA for Bringing My Daughter to a Child-Free Wedding?’

Hi everyone. I’m a 19-year-old mom to my beautiful 2-year-old daughter, Amelia. Just a bit of backstory: last year, I was asked to be a bridesmaid in a family friend’s wedding. I was thrilled and immediately said yes, even though it was a child-free event.

I had arranged for a babysitter, but about a week before the wedding, she informed me that she would no longer be in the city and couldn’t watch my daughter. Given the short notice, I approached the bride and asked if I could bring Amelia to the wedding, as I didn’t have time to find another trusted babysitter.

My daughter is overall a very easygoing baby—she’s comfortable with people and happy as long as she’s fed. The bride knew this since she’d watched my daughter on multiple occasions before, and she happily agreed, saying that having Amelia there would make the wedding photos even more special.

The wedding was going smoothly, though I noticed a few stares from the groom’s parents. Amelia stayed with my sisters for most of the day, but during the reception, I took her with me to congratulate the couple.

As I approached with Amelia in my arms, the groom’s mother suddenly commented, “You shouldn’t have brought a baby to a child-free wedding, especially when she doesn’t fit the family.” I was completely taken aback. For context, my daughter is mixed—I’m half white and half Hispanic, and her father is Black.

I’ve been called “white-washed” because I’m not in contact with my Hispanic family, so I knew exactly what she meant by saying my daughter didn’t “fit the family.” The bride looked shocked, and the groom immediately stood up and led his parents away. Taking this as my cue, I decided it was time to leave.

I made the rounds to say goodbye to everyone and put Amelia in her stroller. As I was leaving, the bride came over to apologize for her in-laws’ behavior. I was upset, but I knew it wasn’t her fault, so I simply wished her luck and left.

Now, about a week after the wedding, I got tagged in a Facebook post—strange, because I don’t use Facebook. The post read: “I’m outraged that my grandchildren weren’t allowed at this event, but when a teen mother who couldn’t be responsible enough to leave her child with the father brings her baby, it’s perfectly fine.”

The post was from the groom’s mother. To make things worse, she’s also been telling family members that I’m lying about what she said regarding my daughter’s appearance. So now I’m wondering, am I the a**hole?. 

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Ambitioso −  NTA. Sounds like the groom’s mother was upset by the ‘no kids’ policy and wrongly took it out on you… It also sounds like the groom’s mother is a dimwitted r**ist dingus.

MonarchOfDonuts −  Oh, NTA. I opened this thinking I might vote differently–it’s not cool to just swan into a child-free wedding with a kid–but you had responsibly made arrangements that fell through, then correctly asked for permission to bring your daughter. That permission was generously given by the bride.

It was not the groom’s mother’s place to decide who could and could not attend. Given the n**ty thing she said on that day, and the drama she’s so determined to stir up online, it is very obvious that the groom’s mom is TA in this situation. You did your best in a rough situation. She, on the other hand, only seems able to do her worst.

duke113 −  NTA. Bride said it was ok. And groom apparently agreed based on the fact he took his parents out of the situation. Those are the \*only\* two people who get a say

booboo773 −  NTA. You had child care that backed out. You cleared it with the bride who had no problem with it. This is absolutely none of the mother’s business. I’m also guessing the child free rule was probably set because of mother of groom’s grandchildren.

Apart-Scene-9059 −  NTA: But tbh part of me really want to say NAH because I kinda think the grandmother is justified in being upset but she should have been upset with the bride and not you.

Because it is a little messed up the grooms (i assume) nieces and nephews couldn’t come but the bride’s friend child can. sidenote: I am also curious if she simply meant your child isn’t family and this wasn’t about race.

LadyAmemyst −  First of all, I don’t think yta. You made plans to respect their choices of a child-free wedding, and asked only when your plans fell through at the last minute. You are given permission, you had people to watch the baby at the event. I take no quarrel with the series of events.

I think we can also agree that race is a factor here and I don’t want to ignore that, she was the problem. But, I hope you can understand that for everyone that wasn’t allowed to bring their children there may be some resentment that you were offered an exception. Personally I feel like it should be all or nothing.

Either don’t do a child free wedding or don’t give exceptions it just causes hard feelings. Personally I don’t like the idea of having a day so perfect it can’t have a kid crying ruining it 😉 Weddings are about family and relationships and children make up a lot of it. But that’s just an opinion it holds no weight and I offer it only as an aside.

Needelz −  ESH – when you make the call for a child free wedding, everybody has to make the sacrifice. The bride and Groom shouldn’t have given you an exception. Amelia should’ve stayed at your sister’s away from the wedding. And the groom’s parents just s**k in every possible way.

Expert-Bus9720 −  NAH, but if I was the mil I would have been upset. The kids who are related to the groom were not allowed to attend while some kid who is not related to the bride was allowed.

Ok-CANACHK −  YTA especially since you put the bride on the spot by asking. it is YOUR job to find a sitter or not go to child free events, yo asked the bride & she said yes, but you never should have made YOUR child care any one else’s problem.

Taking just one baby to a child free event causes everyone that didn’t bring kids to wonder why that baby is here but mine aren’t. If you had better manners, you would know this. & where was the father of this child?

dart1126 −  ESH. The grooms mother…obviously. But, you didn’t report to us some exhaustive search for alternate care. A year ago you arrange for childcare and a week before the event this flake said she wouldn’t be ‘in the city’?!? What?

You have NO OTHER family or friends in your ENTIRE life or the child’s father or family? You knew this was child free. I’m sure your kid is the bestest ever, and you made a point of telling us that.

Which you made a point of telling YOURSELF that, as a reason for there being NO NEED TO FIND ALTERNATE CARE, after all I have THE best kid, it’ll be great while you’re an actual BRIDESMAID?!?

If even family kids couldn’t come you SHOULDN’T HAVE BROUGHT YOUR KID. You have an amazing friend. I’m sure she’s taken a LOT of heat for it. Be a great friend and apologize profusely

Do you think the mother was in the wrong for bringing her daughter after getting the bride’s permission, or did the groom’s mother overstep? How would you have handled the situation? Share your thoughts below!