AITA for breaking down after my girlfriend suggested an open relationship?

A Reddit user shared an emotional experience where his girlfriend suggested they try an open relationship, expressing a desire to “explore freedom while staying committed emotionally.” Feeling hurt and insecure, the user broke down, questioning if he was enough and accusing his girlfriend of using him for security.

After confronting her and asking for space, she accused him of being unfair. Now, the user is left wondering if he overreacted or if his feelings were justified in this tough situation.

‘ AITA for breaking down after my girlfriend suggested an open relationship?’

I (34M) am 5’3″ and have always been self-conscious about my height. I’m aware that it holds me back in the dating market to some level. I’ve worked hard my entire life to prove myself and now have a successful career, making more than enough to live comfortably.

I’ve been dating my girlfriend (26F) for two years. She’s stunning, charismatic, and confident—everything I’ve always wanted in a partner but never thought I’d actually have. Early on, I asked what she saw in me, and her response was vague but sweet—something about how I’m “kind and stable.” It was enough for me to believe this was real.

But recently, she suggested we try an open relationship. She said she wanted to “explore freedom while staying committed emotionally.” It hit me like a truck. I asked if she wasn’t happy with me or if I wasn’t enough. She laughed nervously and said it wasn’t about me, just that she feels too young to “lock herself down.”

I tried to hold it together, but I couldn’t. I started crying, which I never do, especially in front of her. I told her that it felt like I was just a placeholder—that maybe she was using me for financial security while looking for someone “better.”

She looked shocked and said I was overreacting and being dramatic, that it wasn’t about replacing me, just “adding more to our dynamic.” At that point, I told her if she wanted to explore, she could do it, but not while in a relationship with me.

She looked stunned and started to argue, but I told her I needed space and asked her to leave. She’s been texting me saying I’m being unfair and making her feel bad for being honest about her needs. So, AITA? I’m considering breaking up. This hurt me so much, genuinely.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Briiiiiiyonce −  NTA. A suggestion of an open relationship especially after 2 years is complete grounds for a breakup. Either she has someone in mind already or she’s wanting to window shop for more options in the future. I’m so sorry, OP. That would absolutely break me as well.

The fact that she started to argue and victimize herself is also very telling. She’s trying to make you seem like the bad guy for holding her back. If she wants an open relationship so bad out of the blue after a 2 year relationship she can find someone who wants an open relationship.

Secret_Sister_Sarah −  NTA. She’s basically asking you permission to cheat, and not have to give up any perks of the relationship. Most of us would have felt exactly how you’re feeling. Let her go; it’s better to be single on your own than alone in a shell of a relationship.

CivMom −  lol she though she could be honest about her needs and that you should ignore yours to give her what she wants? Is she always this selfish? You deserve so much better. Absolutely NTA. Text her now and move on.

SnooSquirrels9906 −  Please leave, instantly

HauntingReaction6124 −  she was only shocked because you told her you saw through her bs. She thought she could manipulate you and did not expect you to be astute to the situation. watch to see if she starts displaying darvo technique.

Rectum_Dredge −  NTA! She definitely already has someone in mind and is going to cheat or already has. D**p that toxic relationship and move on!

Dizzy-Bench2784 −  Yeah she’s just with u for the cash bro, that’s what “stable” meant in her word salad response to why she’s with u

peace_out16 −  NTA. Asking for an open relationship when you started as monogamous is just like asking for permission to cheat on your partner. You handled it very well and you’re right. If she wanted to explore she can do it but not while she’s with you. It’s better for her to be single and she can explore anyway she wants.

I mean you are also being honest about your views on open relationship and you don’t want to be involve in one. Stand your ground and don’t let someone manipulate you into doing something you don’t want to.

Chemical-Ad6301 −  NTA. Even without the back story, she wants to bang other dudes while you wait around for her. Nope. Tail lights

Glum-Bet-9895 −  Nta and you are right. She wants the safety with you. Economic and emotionally, But she wants to get railed by d**che bags on the weekends.. You deserve better.

Do you think the user’s emotional reaction was justified, or was he overreacting to his girlfriend’s request? How would you handle a partner proposing an open relationship? Share your thoughts and experiences below!