AITA for blowing up on my fiancé infront of his family for getting my daughter’s cat out of the house?

A woman (35F) recently got engaged to her fiancé Eric (37M) and invited him to move in with her and her 13-year-old daughter, Zoey. The transition was smooth until Eric started making unreasonable rules about Zoey’s beloved indoor cat, including banning the cat from key areas of the home.

Things took a turn when Zoey discovered her cat was missing, only to later learn that Eric had intentionally put the cat outside. Furious, the woman confronted Eric in front of his family, sparking a heated scene. Now, Eric is accusing her of humiliating him. Was she justified in standing up for her daughter and the cat? Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for blowing up on my fiancé infront of his family for getting my daughter’s cat out of the house?’

I f35 got engaged to my fiancé Eric m37 2 months ago. He moved in with me and my daughter Zoey f13. Everything was going well til he started complaining about Zoey’s cat which is strange because the cat is so sweet and quiet most of the time and so I had no idea what the issue was exactly.

Anyways, he went from complaining about the cat to making demands about her. He gave Zoey a list of places the cat can/can’t go, things she’s “allowed” to touch, banned her from places like kitchen and sofa (Zoey’s favorite place to cuddle with her cat).

Zoey showed me this list and I had an argument with him telling him he needed to stop this because it was ridiculous. He ranted about this being his house too and how he expects things to change after we get married.

Few days ago, I was at work and got a call from Zoey crying saying her cat wasn’t in her room and in the house. I freaked out too and went home to look for her. Zoey and I looked for 2 hrs before a neighbor of ours brought her and told us that he saw Eric leaving her outside and getting in his car and leaving. I was surprised and quite angry.

Zoey took her cat and went back inside. I immediately drove to my future inlaws home where Eric said he’d be. The second I saw him sitting with his family I went off and blew up at him infront of everyone.

His mom asked what was happening and I told her her son got my daughter’s INDOOR cat outside the house probably hoping for her to get lost. He argued about wanting me yo stop spouting nonesense and go home and we’d talk there but I refused. It got worse and I ended up leaving after his family flipped out at him.

He sent a bunch of texts talking about the stunt I pulled infront of his family. He said that he didn’t mean to leave the cat out but after checking the cams I confirmed it. He still insisted that I humiliated him infront of his family and tried to turn them against him. He’s been staying with a friend and has stopped calling and texting. AITA for blowing up on him infront of his family?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

SDstartingOut −  NTA… but if you stay engaged to him, you will be. (towards your daughter). I hope he’s your ex-fiancé, at this point.

Pretty_In_Pink_81 −  NTA. And this relationship needs to end.

1. He thinks he can control you and your daughter, and it is his right.

2. He has no problem hurting your daughter.

3. He has no problem endangering the life of an animal.

4. He lied to you, and you would know the truth without the cameras. That means that you can’t trust him.

5. He gaslit you in front of his family, pretending what he did wasn’t as bad as it was.

6. He knows that he is wrong, but doesn’t care. He rather get his way. If what he did wasn’t wrong, them why hide it from his family?

7. The silence has a reason: It’s the beginning of coercive control. Withhold everything to put yourself in a position of power and force the other person into negotiating. Don’t fall for it!!!

8. “this being his house too and how he expects things to change after we get married” is code for this is the “White Claw” level of abuse, when we get married the “grain alcohol with a funnel” level of abuse will start.

Maybe he stopped calling, because he knows that he can’t easily control both of you. That is a blessing.If you continue with this man, you will be unhappy and it will negatively impact your relationship with your daughter.

I do find it interesting that you came over to his family’s home with flames coming out of your nose, and their response was not to tell you to calm down or leave or question your behavior. Instead, they asked you what he did and took your side. That usually only happens when a family already knows he is an A-hole by his countless actions. Take the lesson here.. Edit: added #7. It’s key.. Edit 2: added #8

CakeEatingRabbit −  NTA. What he did is horrible. But what it says about him is way worse. He doesn’t just lack empathy, but also respect for you and your daughter and integrety.

AussieTopCat −  His house too? Really? He moved in and now makes all the rules? How much do you value this controlling relationship. This man is going to get worse and more demanding. Set your boundaries and toss this person to the roadside. You and your daughter will be much happier in the long run.

DerpDevilDD −  NTA Just break up with him and move on. He’s not a good person. Also, I am tickled by the picture of the cat with LOL Surprise! behind it. I bet he was LOL surprised when you showed up at his family’s place to call him out on his b**lshit.

Post_Nuclear_Messiah −  I think he an abusive AH who waited until he was moved in and embedded before showing his true colours. The fact that his family went off at him as well is very telling. This is only the tip of the iceberg. There is no future here.. NTA.

chaosandpuppies −  OP. Holy s**t. I cannot emphasize this enough. For your sake. For your daughter sake **DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN**. Make him move out. Immediately. End this relationship. NTA. Don’t let him around the cat unsupervised. He is cold, calculating, and cruel. This is not a man you want to marry.

Purpleagluna −  OP, NTA..

1) Change your locks.

2) Pack his crap in one big box and tape your ring to the top of it.

3) Put said box at the end of the driveway for him to pick up.

4) Hug your daughter, give the cat some scritches, and go on with your life.

5) Give your neighbor a nice Thank You gift for rescuing the cat! (Thank you u/icepudding for pointing that out!)

Edit: Including Point #5, from u/icepudding

allsheneedsisaburner −  I’ve seen the cat, the man should be composted.. NTA

mdthomas −  Cancel the engagement and get rid of him. If he’s willing to d**p someone’s pet, who knows what else he might do?. NTA

Was this mom right to call out her fiancé publicly for putting her daughter’s beloved cat at risk? Or should she have handled the matter privately? How would you have reacted in her shoes? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!