AITA for blowing up at my stepsister at her comments about my lost weight?

One person from Reddit shares the tension between them and their stepsister, who has been mocking their weight for years. After losing 120 pounds, they were complimented by family during a Christmas dinner, but their stepsister continued to belittle them. Eventually, the OP snapped and made a hurtful comment about their stepsister’s weight, which led to a heated argument. Now, the OP is wondering if they were wrong for their outburst. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for blowing up at my stepsister at her comments about my lost weight?’

My stepsister (20F) and I (24M) have never gotten along. Her mom and my dad got married when we were six and ten so we’ve known each other for a long time. In my stepmom’s eyes, she could do no wrong and anything bad that happened was pinned on me. My dad is a complete pushover so he would always fall over to whatever my stepmom would say.

When I was about 15, I started gaining weight. My gf broke up with me (woohoo high school romance), I started failing some of my classes, and I quit baseball. I started to stress-eat and ballooned up from 125 pounds to 162. I guess at that point she decided she was “cooler” than I was and started mocking me and making fun of me, calling me names like “fatass” and “chubster”.

I would constantly go to my stepmom about it and she would tell me she’s just teasing, she’s so much younger, why are you getting upset? I got pissed off to the point where I just started avoiding her and locking myself upstairs in my room with a bag of chips.

At 22 I hit 270 pounds and I knew I had gone too far. I was way past my weight limit and bordering on obese. So as a New Year’s resolution, I decided to start losing weight. I cut out all junk food and started hitting the gym.

Around this time my stepsister started to overeat too, I don’t really know why but she gained over 30 pounds. She still was constantly belittling me about my weight (which admittedly, was way over hers).

By the end of this year, I lost 120 lbs. It felt amazing. My stepsister now weighed more than me. Over Christmas dinner, all the aunts and uncles and cousins were complimenting me on my weight loss, telling me how I looked so much better. My stepsister just sat there smoldering.

Every time someone said something she’d add, “He’s still pretty big”, “Well he didn’t get rid of that face roundness”, “Maybe lose a little more around that gut”. It was infuriating and I was getting angrier.

Now here’s where I might be TA. Finally, at her last little snide, “Look, you know you’ll just put it all back on. Why do you even bother?” I flipped out. I yelled, “Why can’t you just be happy for me, instead of getting on me for every little thing?”She said back to me, “Defensive much?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I hurt your 200-pound feelings?” I asked her. I probably should have stopped there but I kept going. “Calling me a fatass. Look at your plate! You’ve eaten half the table, fatty!” She started crying and left the table. My stepmom screamed at me, saying just because I was insecure I can’t take it out on everyone. I said, “Oh, so *now* you’re talking. Not in the past ten years of constant ‘fatty’ and ‘lardass’ and ‘porker’!”

“But you’re way older!” she whined. I left the table too and went home. I woke up today to a thousand messages from my stepmom, my dad, and my stepsister. They were saying I wasn’t welcome to their house until I apologized. I’m not going to.. AITA?

EDIT: Thank you so much everyone for your comments and the awards. I’ve never felt better about myself than now. And yes, I understand that 270 lbs was not “bordering” on obese. I’m 6’0 so I was pretty damn obese. I called myself bordering for a few years after getting fat, it made me feel better than classifying myself as morbidly obese.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

rcathar20 −  Technically I have to give the judgment of ESH, but good for you for standing up for yourself. I think you said what needed to be said.

chulzle −  Damn. NTA OP. She’s basically mentally abused you for years and the one time you chose to fight back you got the s**t end of the stick yet again from them. At this point in your life you’re old enough to make decisions who is OK in your life and who is NOT ok in your life.

Sometimes it’s much easier to not have some “family” members in your life even though it seems it would be a difficult thing to do. You don’t have to be around them if you don’t want to, and no you don’t have to communicate with that evil B step sister or the step mother. Time to move forward and make your own life and make your own family of friends and people that respect you.

runrunrunawayyyyyyyy −  I said, “Oh, so now you’re talking. Not in the past ten years of constant ‘fatty’ and ‘lardass’ and ‘porker’!” I’m glad you actually said this part to her face. NTA

[Reddit User] −  NTA. That “much younger” defense is out the window at this point. If you’re 15 and they said “she’s younger” then they say the same thing when she herself is 20 years old….. na, ufck that. She’s grown enough to have to deal with repercussions of her actions. If I were you I wouldn’t give in a single bit.

This is actually good for her, to learn that you can’t just say and do any disrespectful s**t with zero consequences. If she goes into the world with that mindset, she’s gonna get hurt bad.

Luckily she’s learning this at home instead of out in the public eye and all that happened was she got yelled at. If she tried this level of disrespect for others in a night club, she might spend the night in a hospital or worse.

Pitzabread31 −  NTA. They need to apologize to you. Don’t go back until they do.

Hayley_hayys −  NTA- I went back and forth between ESH and NTA but honestly she sounds like a miserable b**t. She clearly is not used to anyone firing back at her. Could you have handled better, yeah but I get why in the heat of the moment you snapped so yeah, NTA. EDIT: congrats the lifestyle change!! Good job!

HiImDavid −  “But you’re way older!” she whined. *Why* do people use this to justify treating a *slightly* older kid like s**t?! Like just because she’s 16 when you were 20 you don’t have feelings? NTA, OP. Your step-sis dished it out for *years* but looks like she can’t handle taking it back in.

Abbeyrw −  NTA she got what she deserved and your step mum is a major h**ocrite. Sometimes you gotta say what your feeling and it isn’t always pretty especially when dealing with family

lll111ll111llll11111 −  Just saying, but 270 lbs wasn’t bordering on obese, unless you were like 6’7. It WAS obese, especially if your healthy weight is 150. Probably close to morbidly, if not over it

madommouselfefe −  NTA- Your step sister is a b**ly, and your step mom has allowed her to continue to be one her whole life. After being picked on as long as you have, it’s natural to not want to be picked on anymore. Don’t apologize, don’t play into their gilt trips, just keep on being a confident person with a backbone! Yes what you said was harsh but honestly Your step sister probably would still be talking down to you if you where polite.

Body image and family dynamics can be complicated, especially when long-standing issues are involved. Do you think the OP overreacted, or was their response justified given the history? How would you handle this situation? Share your thoughts below!