AITA for being upset that my boyfriend wouldn’t pick me up from the airport and chose to help his friend’s wife instead?

A Reddit user (28F) returned from a week-long work trip and was excited for her boyfriend (30M) to pick her up from the airport, as they had previously agreed. However, he texted her last minute, saying he couldn’t make it because he needed to help his friend’s wife get home from the gym.

Shocked and hurt, she expressed her disappointment, but he dismissed her feelings, claiming she was being selfish and dramatic. Feeling undervalued as his partner, she questioned whether he prioritizes their relationship or views it as casual.

Her friends are divided on the situation, leaving her uncertain about whether she’s overreacting or justified in her feelings. Read the original story below for more details.

‘ AITA for being upset that my boyfriend wouldn’t pick me up from the airport and chose to help his friend’s wife instead?’

I (28F) had been away on a week-long work trip. My boyfriend (30M) and I had agreed that he would pick me up when I landed, so I was looking forward to seeing him. I had this image in my head of a sweet reunion at the airport where he’d greet me, help me with my suitcase, and we’d go home together.

But the morning of my arrival, he texted, saying he couldn’t make it because he had to pick up his friend’s wife, who needed a lift home after her gym session. I thought he was joking. I mean, it’s the airport, not a casual meet-up.

I told him my suitcase was heavy, that I was tired, and asked if he was seriously bailing on me for a friend’s wife, but he just replied with, “Sarah, come on 😒” and then, “I HAVE TO HELP MY FRIEND! Not everything in the world is about you.” I felt shocked and hurt. It was like I was an inconvenience to him rather than his partner who he should want to see.

For context, this “friend’s wife” is someone I’ve barely met, and while he’s good friends with John (her husband), I never expected she would be prioritized over me, especially not at a time like this. He claims I’m being s**fish and making a big deal out of nothing, but it honestly feels like he’s setting a really troubling precedent for our relationship.

Am I supposed to just be okay with him dropping everything for someone else even if it’s not an emergency? When I got home on my own, he acted like nothing was wrong and didn’t even apologize. I brought it up, and he said I was being dramatic and that it was just “one ride.”

Now I’m starting to wonder if he sees our relationship as something casual, or if he’s just that oblivious. But maybe I *am* overreacting? Some of my friends say I have every right to be upset, while others say I should give him the benefit of the doubt. AITA for expecting him to prioritize me, or am I being unreasonable and s**fish?

See what others had to share with OP:

madeinspac3 −  Help his friend, cause her hands are too broken to hit up an Uber from the gym? But wait she probably wouldn’t be at the gym if that were true. Also how did she get there?

This sounds really shady, especially the way he is acting. NTA and you’re right that you are second to a casual friend. To make it worse he bailed on a prearranged plan to get you which kinda stranded you with no ride.

rosy_eve −  Not overreacting, NTA, your partner is trivialising your emotions which he shouldn’t be doing.

bino0526 −  Girl, Runnnn‼️‼️‼️🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 If he prioritized picking up his friends wife over picking you up, what else would he prioritize over you.
Why didn’t she get an Uber or Lyft? Why did he have to be the one to pick her up? It’s time to reevaluate your relationship.. There is no benefit of the doubt.

ComplexSevere8771 −  NTA. I would leave this relationship. You are obviously second in his mind. If your partner treats you this way, then you are an inconvenience to him. The friend’s wife story is shady as hell. Run and run far.

Poperama74 −  NTA your boyfriend sucks. Seriously, he wanted to give his friends wife a lift home after her sweaty session at the gym…. Yeah, we both know what’s really going on there.. Time to have a rethink lady

Life-Yogurtcloset-98 −  You’re partner is f**king his friends wife. Why could he grab her and then grab you? Because you both can’t meet.

PuffinScores −  I would’ve Uber’d to a hotel, turned off my phone, and let him wonder all night where I was. That was a level of disrespect I wouldn’t accept. If you were at the gym and someone had an urgent need for a ride from the airport, I’d understand making my way home from the gym. This situation was the opposite. NTA.

So he could’ve taken her home from the gym and got you a little bit late – also somewhat acceptable. But he just LEFT YOU THERE. Petty me wants you to make a date (tell him he owes you that to make it up to you), have him meet you there, and then call him after you know he’s arrived and say your friend Tim is in town and it’s been soo long so you’re eating with him instead.

Do post cozy pictures of you and said friend. Get home really late. And then pack your s**t and leave as soon as possible. EDA: Gray rock him and don’t beg for him to understand while you get your new home set. Your new emotion is indifference.

Strong-Extension-976 −  Listen, if this was a medical emergency or something serious of that sort I would absolutely encourage that be the priority. But picking her up from the gym and leaving you to figure out your airport situation that was already planned, that just very clearly shows the importance you have in his life.

Actions do speak a lot louder for me than words. And the friends asking you to give him the benefit of doubt should clarify benefit of doubt for what exactly.
Nta. But if I was you, I would be packing and leaving immediately.

[Reddit User] −  I would be totally watching the friends wife and him cause it sound like they are more then friends. And the way he down played your feelings is another red flag.

everybodyspapa −  He said one thing. Then he did another. He reneged on you. That’s b**lshit.
Why he reneged is irrelevant. You want a future with someone of integrity.