AITA for being upset and leaving when my sister in law stole my pregnancy announcement?

A Redditor shares a heartbreaking story of how their special pregnancy announcement was overshadowed by their sister-in-law, who pretended to be pregnant instead of correcting a misunderstanding. Despite later apologies, the family insists on a redo dinner, but the Redditor feels the moment is already ruined. Read the original story below:

‘ AITA for being upset and leaving when my sister in law stole my pregnancy announcement?’

I (36f) found out that I am pregnant. I am overjoyed as I have always wanted a child of my own. I focused on my career in my life and since I am single, I wasn’t sure if having a baby would ever happen. I was excited to tell my family the big news. My older sister has one child, my nephew (7m).

My brother is married but he and his wife have made it very clear they will always be child free. Last night we had a family dinner and I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to share the news. Since this will be my only child I wanted to make it special and I also wanted to involve my nephew.

I got a shirt that read “this is what an awesome big cousin looks like”. I slipped away with my nephew before dinner and had a special moment with him while I told him he was going to have a cousin. My nephew was very excited and put on the shirt. He put his sweater on over it and I told him he could take the sweater off whenever he wanted at dinner.

In the middle of dinner he took off the sweater and waited for someone to notice. Soon my sister jumped up and excitedly screamed when she saw the shirt. They all then immediately assumed it was my sister in law. I wasn’t hurt my them assuming this and I kind of expected it because she is married.

I was hurt because my sister in law didn’t try to correct them. She just went along with it and began to rub her flat belly while laughing. I must have looked completely hurt because my mother yelled at me to stop being rude and to congratulate them. I tried to explain that I was the one who gave my nephew the shirt.

They all didn’t even hear me and just continued to fawn over my sister in law. My brother stood frozen in shock just asking his wife if she was serious. I got up and went home. I received multiple texts at this point from them telling me what an a**hole I am for making this about me. They said things like it wasn’t my sister in laws fault that I was jealous.

I didn’t reply to anything and just cried myself to sleep. This morning my sister in law must have finally let it slip that she is not pregnant. They have now all called me to apologize saying that they just got caught up in the moment. They said I shouldn’t have left the dinner and that it’s my fault I wasn’t clear enough that I was the one who is pregnant.

My mom said I could have a redo dinner so I can get it right and they will all act surprised. My sister in law sent me a message that said that the way I chose to announce was how she wanted to do it if she ever got pregnant. She said that since she is not ever having a child that she just wanted to experience what the moment would be like. She also said I can have my chance at the redo dinner.

I told them no and that I will not be doing a redo. Every single person has now told me I am being selfish and an a**hole because I won’t let them make it right. To me there’s no fixing this. I will eventually forgive them but I don’t want to do a second announcement so they feel better.. AITA?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

sunshine198505 −  NTA. F**k that noise. They dont want a redo for you to feel better they want a redo so they feel better

yesiamthenurse −  Your sister in law is a ass. How big of her to allow you to have a chance to celebrate your life altering announcement. Next it will be the baby shower that she always wanted if she ever got pregnant, but don’t worry OP you can redo it! NTA

Capital_Percentage_9 −  NTA. Your SIL knew damn well she wasn’t pregnant. She knew that someone else was, and she chose to take that away

MonkeyWrench −  NTA. Do not do anything that will allay their guilt. You let them sit in it and have to deal with it themselves. You have no obligation to fix their hurt feelings. Go have an ice cream! (unless you are lactose intolerant, then make sure its dairy free!!)

Losstarot710 −  NTA. This is very confusing. Your nephew didn’t try to correct them? Your SIL wasn’t very confused and ask where the shirt came from?

coldbrewcoffee22 −  NTA but I don’t get why you left. I would have yelled at the top of my lungs until they heard me and corrected the misunderstanding on the spot. Your SIL would have looked like a dummy, your family would have been excited for you, and you all would have gotten the moment you wanted (albeit after a confusing minute or two). At this point though, what’s done is done – there’s no “redoing” the moment.

FusRoYeet −  So she and her husband have made the decision to not have kids and be child free. But she decides that even though she doesn’t want to have kids, she has a right to experience something she has willingly chosen not to??? That was your special moment and she completely stole it and let your family berate you.

Also why your family would immediately think it was her that was pregnant is beyond me. Besides the fact she doesn’t want to have kids, I’m sure they would have noticed that you went to go do something with your nephew and not her. NTA I’m honestly at a loss for words for how beyond messed up this situation is.

ohemgeez223 −  YTA. You over reacted. The shirt was confusing. You tried to explain but wait for everyone to calm down. Who cares that she played along. That would be funny in my book for her to play along. When everyone settles then try again to say it was you. Would have been a major surprise.

princessmfpaige −  At no point did I think you were TA, but at first I thought you may have been overeaccted. Like maybe you should have just said something, and the evening could have potentially taken the course you had wanted to.

However hearing what you SIL said I can see how the situation would have made you just want to leave- she literally *admitted* to stealing your moment. She doesn’t even want kids but took away what should have been a very event from you. She’s definitely TA.

StainlessHinge −  ESH, you could have fixed this in the moment by telling them that you were the one who was pregnant. Now you’ve made it a whole big thing.

Should the Redditor accept the redo dinner and try to move on, or is it fair to feel the moment can’t be recaptured? How would you handle such a situation? Share your perspective in the comments below.