AITA for being the reason my grandparents refuse to help my dad anymore and laughing when he and his wife complained about it?

A 16-year-old boy discovered his father planned to take the inheritance left by his late mother to fund an expensive treatment for his half-sister, despite it being specifically allocated for the boy’s future. When the boy refused, his father insisted on using the money anyway, calling him selfish for prioritizing college.

The boy told his grandparents—his late mom’s parents—about the situation, leading them to cut off all support to the father. Now angry, the father confronted the boy, only to be met with laughter and the reminder that the boy warned him he would never forgive the betrayal. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for being the reason my grandparents refuse to help my dad anymore and laughing when he and his wife complained about it?’

My mom died when I (16m) was 7. She left me an inheritance that my dad was put in charge of. The money was supposed to be for my future and nobody was supposed to touch it unless I really needed it and it was pretty specific. I read through it 5 months ago when s**t went down.

My dad got married again when I was 10 and he has an 8 year old stepdaughter and now a 4 year old daughter with his wife “Louise”. My half sister was diagnosed with a rare condition when she was 2. It was always clear something was wrong but they had a really hard time figuring out what it was.

Doctors would say she’d be fine when she was older. This condition isn’t life threatening, like she won’t die from it, but it could potentially leave her permanently disabled in a bad way. A few months ago they found out about this hard to get into treatment for it. But it was expensive. There was/is ways to get help paying for it but that takes longer.

So my dad decided he would use the inheritance mom left me to pay for it. He tried asking me but he was going to do it anyway and when I said no he told me as much. Then he shamed me for saying no, for putting college before the health of my half sister. Louise was in the room with us but she wasn’t talking before I said no.

She asked me how I could look at my half sister at the life she will have if we don’t do something and say no. I told my dad I would never forgive him if he took the money. After I read her will (grandparents had a copy) I brought up the fact it was only for my needs it could be spent before.

He told me mom was dead and he hoped she’d understand. I told him I never would. He told me I’d understand when I’m older. I told him I hated him and I told Louise she better never speak to me again because I found it disgusting she’d encourage stealing from me and taking my mom’s money. I told my grandparents what dad did.

They’re my mom’s parents but had stayed friendly with dad and there were times they would help him. They shared stuff with him all the time and grandpa would look at dad’s car for free if anything was wrong. That all stopped when I told them. Dad couldn’t figure out why until he confronted them about it last week.

They told him he had some nerve stealing from me, taking their daughter’s money and spending it on *his* child. My dad was mad they didn’t understand and support his decision. He confronted me about it and complained about what I did. I laughed and told him I had warned him I would never forgive him for it.

He asked how I got to be so heartless and s**fish. I told him I would never forget what he did.. AITA?

Check out how the community responded:

Comfortable-Sea-2454 −  NTA. I told my grandparents what dad did. They’re my mom’s parents but had stayed friendly with dad and there were times they would help him. They shared stuff with him all the time and grandpa would look at dad’s car for free if anything was wrong. That all stopped when I told them.

Dad couldn’t figure out why until he confronted them about it last week. They told him he had some nerve stealing from me, taking their daughter’s money and spending it on *his* child. My dad was mad they didn’t understand and support his decision. He confronted me about it and complained about what I did.

I laughed and told him I had warned him I would never forgive him for it. He asked how I got to be so heartless and s**fish. I told him I would never forget what he did. I feel for your half sister but your dad STOLE from you to take care of HIS child.

Your maternal grandparents are rightly PO’d at your dad. Would it be possible for you to go live with your maternal grandparents and get away from your dad and his second family?

Nester1953 −  That was your money, not your dad’s money. It might have been stolen from you in a good cause, but it was stolen from you, and that’s illegal. Please have your grandparents find you a lawyer.

Your dad is going to have to pay you back.what he took from you. You don’t get to steal from your kid. Talk with a lawyer. Get your money back. Your step-sister has already benefitted from it, now it’s time for your dad to find a way to repay you. Every cent.

Aggravating-Thanks80 −  Your dads feelings and needs are not a lawful reason to ignore a will. He’s broken the law, and while it may end up more expensive than the inheritance in question to pursue it, it’s an avenue you can take.

At the VERY LEAST, your father should be made VERY AWARE that speaking to your grandparents is the KINDEST thing you could have done for him, because the legal options (which are likely very open to you still) would have been FAR worse.

He has no right to speak for the dead either – that will was your mothers ‘final word’ on her estate. If she wanted to provide for your FATHER and HIS FUTURE (including new children and partners) she’d have damn well left it for him

davekayaus −  You can, and should, organise for a lawyer via your grandparents. This is theft and it can be pursued civilly (at your expense) or criminally (at the state’s expense).

I like option 2 as the prospect of a prison sentence tends to focus people’s attention. Either way your dad needs to pay back the money he stole from you, either all at once, or to an agreed schedule of instalments.

kurokomainu −  NTA More than that, you might want to ask your grandparents if they can consult a lawyer with you to find out what your legal remedies are since they did literally steal from you.

Immediate_Mud_2858 −  #NTA Your Dad stole from you. Speak to your grandparents about this further, because you need to get a lawyer involved.

CurrencyBackground83 −  It’s actually super illegal and sounds f**e tbh. If this is the US, any money that’s inherited/won over 10k needs to be either in a trust or in a specific account that is controlled by the guardian for the child. You need to prove it’s for the actual child to use that money.

The guardian controlled account usually requires you to petition the court for access to the money, and they won’t allow it for expenses that are deemed as normal childcare. For a trust, it does depend on the trust itself but if the money is being used for another child, all OP or his grandparents would need to do is contact the attorney and file a motion with the court.

The father and his family would be legally required to return any money taken. I can’t speak for the anywhere else, but in the US, there are laws to protect children’s money from being spent by their parents in these circumstances.

Judgemental_Jude −  NTA. Your dad is 100% stealing from you and I would also be pissed off if someone was stealing from me. Your dad should have taken the time to see if he can get help paying for the treatment.

Background_Town_9700 −  You can really tell that there are a very high percent of redditors who are childless. Additionally, they do not understand the concept of being an AH versus legally obligated or doing something wrong for the right reason. First of all, this story is likely f**e. The red flags of this being complete B.S. are high.

Secondly, lets pretend this is 100% true, is the father in this (real or f**e) situation really an AH? If you look at this objectively? Is he doing something immoral? Sure, absolutely, it’s not his money to take. Is he blowing it on some new gf or some car? no.

If this story was even real, he has a young daughter who is the OP biological half sister who is extremely ill and could be permanently disabled her whole life without treatment. Is he really an AH doing any reasonable thing possible to try to give this girl a normal life?

The OP does not mention at all his relationship with step sister, step mother or half sister, but his dad is right, his attitude is heartless. If OP is truly 16, yeah, you kind of expect him to be s**fish and heartless to an extent, his brain hasn’t even fully developed.

This is such a gray area to tell this kid to move and get away from his “evil” father because of money? His options are: 1) my son gets a free ride to college and my daughter is permanently disabled and 2) my son finds another way to pay for college, my daughter has a shot at a normal life and hopefully I can make it up to him someday.

I have to give a verdict of NAH. OP is 16 and has the right to be pissed off that his money was taken for his sister. But his father taking it for the above stated reason is not being an AH. I have a hard time believing anyone with a shred of empathy believes this is AH behavior.

MaybeitsClusterB −  Also, if your mother died when you were that young, there’s a chance your father has been collecting SS benefits on you monthly since then

This story highlights complex family dynamics, the importance of boundaries, and difficult choices involving money and relationships. Was the son justified in involving his grandparents, or should he have handled it differently?