AITA For being sarcastic when my stepmother asked me to give pep talks to her daughter, accusing her of trying to pass the problem off to someone else?

A 15-year-old Redditor shares a tense family dynamic involving their stepmother, Laura, and stepsister, Melanie, who struggles with social interactions and resists relationships with her blended family. After Melanie faced rejection from a prestigious school program due to her lack of teamwork, Laura asked the Redditor to give Melanie pep talks.

The Redditor refused, citing their mutual dislike and recommending therapy instead. Their sarcastic response upset Laura, who accused them of being rude, while their father acknowledged the logic but not the delivery. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA For being sarcastic when my stepmother asked me to give pep talks to her daughter, accusing her of trying to pass the problem off to someone else?’

I’m (15M) and my stepsister Melanie is (14F) My Dad and her mom Laura (both late 40s?) got married 4 years ago. Melanie flat-out told me she didn’t approve of her mom remarrying and wants nothing to do with the new husband or his kids. I deliberately don’t talk to her because the dislike is mutual at this point.

Melanie can’t work with people at school either. She goes on her phone and won’t talk to members of group projects. Laura complains whenever the school writes home, saying that it’s exaggerated/not true. But I believe it because Melanie’s the exact same way with us at home.

The trouble now is because Laura wanted Melanie to join a school leaders program that gives priority for honors/AP classes and some other benefits. The program rejected Melanie with a statement that Melanie had good grades but she’s not a team player and therefore a bad fit for the program.

Even though we’re not even at the same school, Laura asked me to help encourage Melanie to come out of her shell with pep talks. Her logic was that Melanie doesn’t seem to respect her or the school counselor and she’s hoping I could get through to Melanie as someone who’s her age and knows how it is as a child of divorce.

I said no and that Melanie needs a therapist, not a stepsibling. Melanie’s Dad is a cop, I know they have good health insurance, and he should get something for her because she obviously isn’t taking the divorce or new school well.

Laura asked if I could still give Melanie pep talks, but I pointed out that me and Melanie don’t like each other and Laura knows that. And does she expect Melanie to be like “I treat my own mom like she’s nothing. But oh yes! I’ll definitely listen to you, stepbrother who I barely even acknowledge!”

Laura called me rude and claimed it takes everyone chipping in because therapy isn’t an instant fix when you have trust issues. That may sound valid on its own. But it all just comes off as her trying to pass the problem off to someone else considering she didn’t get Melanie into actual therapy years ago.

My Dad said he got my logic for refusing and I had valid points. But at the same token, there was no need for the sarcasm and I was rude. I’m sure I was rude, but this has honestly been going on for too long. It’s clear Melanie isn’t going to change without an actual therapist and someone needs to tell Laura like it is. AITA?

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Nelson_Blue −  NTA. You’re a kid. Simple as that. Sorry the grownups in your life are parentifying you in a relationship with a step-sibling who doesn’t even want you in her space. You both deserve better.

platinum-exp −  nta. youre 15 and dont even talk to her. this isnt your responsibility but laura’s. maybe you could apologize and talk things out when it comes to the sarcasm and all but its ridiculous how laura is expecting you to be helpful to melanie’s situation

Ambitious-Border-906 −  I was all set to say that the sarcasm wasn’t called for, but by the end of the post, I can’t see anything that wasn’t valid.. Solid NTA!

FandomLover94 −  NTA Melanie explicitly said she wants nothing to do with you. Why would she take anything you say seriously? Being her age and another child of divorce won’t overrule her dislike of her step-dad’s kid, the new “family” she clearly doesn’t want.

And even if someone doesn’t have trust issues, therapy is never an instant fix. That’s why you keep going. Melanie needs to talk to an independent, unbiased third party which would be a therapist, not you, OP. I hope she gets the help she needs.

TheExaspera −  NTA. Way for your step-mom to pass her responsibilities over to you! This is an issue not meant for a 15 year old to deal with.

No_Cockroach4248 −  What you said was the truth, what Laura asked for was a delegation of her responsibility as Melanie’s parent. You are a minor, you have no business giving a talk to another minor on a very sensitive issue; the source of the issue is that Melanie did not want her mother to remarry and since then has sought to isolate herself at home and in school.

I would have a talk with your dad and ask him to tell Laura she is not to discuss topics relating to parenting of Melanie with you. This is a boundary she has to respect. In the 4 years, Laura has failed as Melanie’s parent, she tolerated her isolation at home, dismissed the school’s concerns when they brought it up and rejected therapy.

From the way you write, it sounds like your dad and stepmother parent their kid separately. This is going to overstep the line but dad has to get Laura and Melanie to attend therapy individually and then together on Melanie’s dad health insurance. NTA, it is not sarcastic or rude, Melanie needs therapy for her own mental well-being

LowBalance4404 −  I said no and that Melanie needs a therapist, not a stepsibling. Are you sure you are only 15? You sound like the only adult in this situation. NTA, good for you for not getting sucked into family drama, and just in general – good for you! Because you are right.

She should have been in therapy a long time ago. I don’t blame her – divorce and remarriage are so hard. Change in general is hard. But she does need some professional help as do all three of her parents.

Couette-Couette −  You are totally right and you have already understood that some people deal with their reponsabilities by finding others to take care of them.

Another thing about these people: when they are called out, they focus on the form rather than the content because they know that they are rightfully called out. So, next time, tone down the sarcasm (not for her benefit but to avoid giving her something to complain about you to your dad)

Bloodrayna −  NTA You’re not obligated to do anything and you’re completely right that Melanie won’t listen to you and needs a real therapist. 

CartographerHot2285 −  NTA. Your perspective on this actually very mature. Therapy and her parents should be her first line support, not a teenage step sibling.

Was the Redditor right to stand their ground, or should they have handled the situation with more tact? How would you navigate family dynamics like these? Share your thoughts below!