AITA for ”being partial” towards my kids?
When financial strain forces a family to make tough choices, how do you balance fairness between biological children and a child you’ve taken in? A mother faces criticism for perceived favoritism—but is she truly in the wrong?
‘ AITA for ”being partial” towards my kids?’
Expert Opinions
Child Welfare and Blended Families:
Dr. Susan Newman, a psychologist specializing in non-traditional families, explains: “Blending families under financial stress requires balancing practicality with emotional equity. Formula vs. breastfeeding isn’t inherently unequal—it’s about meeting each child’s needs with available resources.” (Source: Psychology Today)
Financial Strain and Parenting Decisions:
A 2022 study in Family Relations Journal highlights that “parents in low-income households often make ‘tiered’ sacrifices, prioritizing immediate needs (e.g., feeding infants) over perceived luxuries (e.g., new clothes).” OP’s choice to breastfeed her biological child while using formula for “B” aligns with resource optimization, not favoritism.
Navigating In-Law Conflict:
Dr. Tara Peters, a family therapist, advises: “Criticism from in-laws during crises exacerbates guilt. Partners must present a united front to protect their household’s emotional well-being.” OP’s husband modeling support—not pressuring her to apologize—is key to mitigating harm.
Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:
Community Opinions
Summary: Redditors overwhelmingly side with OP, praising her efforts to care for “B” amid financial hardship. Many criticize the MIL for weaponizing “fairness” without acknowledging OP’s sacrifices. Key themes:
- “MIL lacks empathy for your situation.”
- “Breastfeeding is a personal choice, not a moral failing.”
- “Your husband is a MVP for standing by you.”
This story underscores the impossible standards parents face when balancing limited resources and societal expectations. While OP’s MIL frames the situation as favoritism, the reality is a family doing their best under strain. Verdict: NTA. Fairness isn’t about equal things—it’s about equal care, and OP’s choices reflect that.