AITA for being ‘greedy’ and not giving our daughter’s stuff to my pregnant sister?

A Redditor was recently accused of being “greedy” for refusing to give away parts of her young daughter’s room decor to her pregnant sister, who wanted to create a themed nursery but found it too pricey. The sister felt that the OP should “part with a few things,” like the drapes, lamp, and mirror, to help her out, despite both families being financially well-off.

When the OP refused, suggesting her sister try more affordable options, the situation escalated, leading to insults and a falling-out. Was this request reasonable or out of line?

‘ AITA for being ‘greedy’ and not giving our daughter’s stuff to my pregnant sister?’

Throwaway. I’m going to keep this as short as I can, I honestly think this whole thing is ridiculous. I’m 33 and my husband and I have 2 kids, 8M and 7F. We didn’t plan having them back to back but it happened, my husband got a vasectomy and we’re set.

When I was pregnant with our son, we were living in a rented 2 bedroom house and decorated the nursery with olive and wood tones. We kept it the same when we had our daughter and just made room for the baby.

When our son was 6 and our daughter was 5, my husband got a big promotion at work that allowed us to look for and buy a 4 bedroom forever house. Since it was permanent, we thought it’d be fun to give the kids theme rooms.

We asked them each what they wanted and our son picked dinosaurs (my husband likes to joke that we have a mini Ross on our hands) so we did a wilderness theme and my daughter picked Aurora so we did a fairytale theme.

We went all out since it’ll be their bedrooms until they’re teens and we gave the nursery furniture away since we were done having kids. We asked our families first but none of them were planning kids at the time so it went to friends.

Present- my sister is 21 weeks pregnant with a babygirl- their first. She was over at our place and said she was leaning to something like my daughter’s room for the nursery but nursery stuff are expensive. I told her that she should go with neutral tones since it’ll be used a lot- they want a big family.

She was like ‘nah, I want themed ones for each baby like you did with [my kids names]’. I raised my eyebrows because that’s going to be expensive but nodded because who am I to talk when I kind of did the same?

We continued chatting for a while and she grabbed my laptop and started going through the website I used and complained again so I suggested that she put some of the reasonably priced stuff on her baby shower list. She gave a noncommittal hum and then said that I can give her some stuff as well.

I was confused because I thought she meant the old nursery and I reminded her that we gave it away. She shook her head and told me she meant stuff from our daughter’s room. I asked her what she means because she’s using that room, it’s not like she doesn’t live in it.

She waved her hand and told me it’s not a big deal, we can part with a few things. I asked her what she thought we can part with and she casually said stuff like the drapes, a lamp, the mirror etc. I asked her sarcastically if she wanted the sheets as well? Or maybe the clothes off our daughter’s back?

She just glared and told me I could tone down my greed and help out with this. I told her a flat no, it’s unreasonable that she’s even asking because she and her husband are well off just like us. It’s not like she’s struggling and I’m refusing to help.

She told me that it’s different because they want a big family so they need to save more. I told her if that’s the case, they can save by using the same the nursery for every baby. She just glared again, called me a greedy b**ch and left.She’s not replying to my texts and my mom called to ask me what happened because she called her to complain about me without specifying anything. She was just as bewildered as me when I told her. My husband thinks I’m in the right and I do too, I’m just confused and maybe there’s something we’re not seeing?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Salamanderonthefarm −  “tone down your greed”… like, for example, someone who’s literally trying to grab her niece’s possessions? Sheesh. NTA.

Open_Equal_1515 −  Oh wow , so your sister’s idea of “borrowing” a nursery setup is to just… raid your daughter’s room like it’s a discount decor warehouse ? honestly , i’m impressed she didn’t ask for your daughter’s entire bed frame as a “starter gift.”

And the best part is , she’s not asking out of necessity but because , in the spirit of financial planning , she’s saving for this big family she plans to have. clearly , her budget strategy is to let you “sponsor” the first kid’s theme.

Honestly , i think you’re handling it way better than i would. i’d probably throw in a “limited edition sibling discount” just to make it really clear: all inventory has been marked as non-transferable.

if she wants themed rooms for every future little one , she can start where all of us do: the land of pinterest dreams and DIY attempts ! so , yeah , definitely not the “greedy b**ch” here — you’re just out here preserving your daughter’s right to her own princess castle !!

counterburn −  NTA My mother always acquiesced to this stuff and ruined our relationship. I’d come home from school to find her chatting with some new friend while their kids played with my toys and she’d just give them away.

She never understood why I started hiding my stuff, stopped talking to her, and wouldn’t be friends with these kids she was giving all my things to. By high school, I treated my living space like I was in boot camp: no posters, no mementos, nothing out.

I carried all my books in a duffle bag at school and hid the few toys I had under my clothes. Children need security and parents who advocate for them. Please don’t give into this horrible ask from your sister.

nightcana −  30 bucks on the *only* reason she chose an identical theme for her child was to pilfer the contents of your childs bedroom.

kmflushing −  😆 ***She’s*** calling ***you*** greedy when she’s literally trying to snatch things out of your daughters room?
NTA, and shut that s**t down from her and anyone else. Anyone on her side is entitled, greedy as hell, or heard a totally different story from her.

MaryContrary26 −  If my sibling called me a “greedy b**ch” for being unwilling to give them my child’s things I would sever contact until I got a heartfelt apology.

Bride1234109 −  NTA. After reading the title, I thought your sister was going to ask for the baby items that your daughter has grown out of. However, after reading your post, your sister is entitled af. To expect to be given things from a child’s room that they’re currently using is crazy. What happens the next kid?

Will she take your son’s room too? Or what happens when your daughter gets a new room decor as a teen? Will she try to rob your teen daughter’s room too? NTA. She can get her own stuff.

VeniceBriar −  It’s unreasonable for your sister to expect you to take things from your daughter’s room. You were clear and generous with your suggestions. NTA.

gringaellie −  NTA remember when she points the “greedy” finger at you, three are pointing back at her. She’s greedy and she knows it but is DARVOing you.

ConvivialKat −  She just glared again, called me a greedy b**ch and left.. She’s not replying to my texts. Why in the world are you trying to contact her? If my sister called me a greedy b**ch, I wouldn’t send her any texts. In fact, I would go low contact for a good long while. What a s**tty thing to say.

I’m just confused and maybe there’s something we’re not seeing? Yeah. You’re not seeing who is really the greedy b**ch in this scenario. You’re busy texting her. Stop it. It’s time for you to sit back and become completely uninvolved in your sister’s pregnancy, her nutty demands, and her life issues. When she asks why (because she absolutely will), you can remind her that greedy bitches don’t care about other people.

WARNING: If she is planning on having a big family, you should be prepared for her to demand that you provide on demand and free babysitting services. It’s inevitable. Your parents should be prepared for this as well.. NTA.