AITA for being cold to my ex-fiancé and demanding a paternity test after her infidelity?

After discovering that his pregnant fiancée had been unfaithful and may have lied about the paternity of their child, a man (late 20s/early 30s) ended their relationship and demanded a DNA test. The fiancée admitted to having an affair and acknowledged that financial security influenced her decision to claim he was the father. Now, he’s being cold and refusing to reconcile, despite pressure from friends and her family to support her during the pregnancy. He’s questioning if he’s being too harsh or if his anger is justified. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for being cold to my ex-fiancé and demanding a paternity test after her infidelity?’

So, right now I’m in kinda a s**tty situation. I’ve been treating my ex-fiance pretty cold and demanding a paternity test for the child she’s caring. All of my friends are saying i’m being a major a**hole but I don’t feel that way, heres the story.

I knew my ex for almost 10 years. We go back all the way to high school and have been friends. After we graduated I said f**k it and asked her out and we became a couple. We dated for almost 6 years before she came to me and told me she was pregnant. I won’t lie, I loved her at the time and this was actually quite exciting to me so i proposed. She, however, seemed super worried.

I sat down and talked with her about it. I told her that even if she did decide to terminate the pregnancy I would be by her side and still wanted to marry her. She was super awkward about it but decided to keep the child and accepted my proposal.

These past 7 months have been a roller coaster. She moved in with me and we began getting ready for our daughters birth and we were planning on getting married after she is born. That was until a few weeks ago. An old acquaintance from high school reached out to me. I was never good friends with him but he said that he felt guilty about letting an innocent man suffer for his and my ex’s mistakes.

This guy claimed that he was the father of my ex’s child and that my ex had been lying to me. It turns out that my ex and him got reacquainted about a year ago and started having s**. around the time my ex got pregnant they began having unprotected s**. He is not lying about this. He sent me photos of them together and showed me texts between the two of them.

I was able to get my ex’s phone and confirmed they were real. Along with this, he sent me a string of Facebook messages of my ex admitting to lying to me because I make more money that the real father and she would rather I care for it.

Suffice to say, I was f**king pissed. I confronted her, she cried, I cried, it was a mess. In the end I broke it off then and there and evicted her from my apartment. She’s in the process of moving out now but I have not said a single word to her. I have pretty much told her that I want her out of my life. I also demanded a DNA test the minute the child is born. If it is mine, i’ll help her support it. If not, then I am never seeing her again.

I’ve been cold to her. Her and her parents has tried multiple times to “work it out” with me but I’ve refused any contact with them. At one point she got all of her friends together to try to talk to me and I kicked them out of the apartment with threats of calling the police. Any time she’s tried to “Reconcile” i’ve shut it down,

My friends are saying i’m in wrong here. According to them she’s pregnant and because of that I should at least be helping her till the baby is born even if it isn’t mine. I disagree fully. But I could be wrong. Am I letting my own emotions hide the fact from me that i’m an a**hole?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

fourbearants −  NTA. She has friends and family apparently. They can equally “help her till the baby is born even if it isn’t theirs.”.

Edit: thanks for the gold!

Edit 2: and my first platinum. Wow. Judging people has been so rewarding today.

Miomiya −  NTA. She cheated and you have proof of it. Also, she did it with uttermost malice, saying you were richer than the real father.

Devourer_of_felines −  NTA. You’ve solid evidence of her infidelity already. If that’s not even your biological kid why should you be paying for child support? If your friends think you’re being such an a**hole then they can pay her instead.

finifrugal −  NTA. The fact they’re being so defensive and shady about getting a paternity test is just more reason to get one. She’s also hurt you and you deserve the time and distance to heal.

forester93 −  NTA, if your friends are saying you’re an a**hole then you must be leaving something out. If your story is legit then you have every right to find out if the kid is yours and cut ties.

Swiollvfer −  NTA.. She cheated on you, she’s TA. PS: I believe they can now do paternity tests before the baby is born, you might want to look into that.

SquishyInkDoll −  NTA. She made this mess and she needs to pull up her big girl panties and deal with it. She cheated, lied, and manipulated two men because of her own selfishness. You’ve been together for years and she not only cheated on you but did so *unprotected* for *nearly a year*.

On top of that she admitted that she only wanted you around because you made more money than the other guy. You have no obligation to take care of her, she has friends and family that can put up with her s**t.

The moment that baby is born you get a paternity test and don’t sign a damn thing until you have proof that the child is yours. If that baby is yours you need to get a lawyer and set up a custody arrangement so she can’t s**ew you over, she has shown how irresponsible and reckless she is, that child shouldn’t have to suffer her mothers consequences.

If that baby is not yours then you wash your hands of this whole mess and go on to find someone who will respect you and the relationship. No one should have to deal with this kind of betrayal and no child should have to be brought into these situations.. Good luck man

Edit: First gold! Thank you kind Anon!

jocoo4000 −  NTA, at least he told you the truth in the end. I would be devastated though, this wipes out the meaning of everything you two had. I’m sorry OP, sending all the love.

marrrrell −  God damn why do people think it’s necessary to care for someone who literally did the worst thing possible to you? Like do they think you can just forgive that i**asion of trust? I think it’s funny her parents want you to work it out too. People are freaking psychotic now a days. You sir will never be the a**hole. I’d be the same way if I were in the same situation.

mbrushin333 −  Nta. Your friends seem like assholes though.

What would you do in his position? Is he right to protect himself from further emotional harm, or does he owe more support to his ex during the pregnancy? Share your thoughts—this story raises complex questions about trust, betrayal, and responsibility.