AITA for banning my friend from my home after she refused to take videos of my bird down?

A Redditor shared their dilemma about banning a friend from their home after discovering that the friend secretly uploaded videos of their beloved African Grey parrot singing Disney songs to YouTube. Despite the parrot’s popularity, the user felt betrayed and uncomfortable with the exploitation of their pet, especially given the bird’s history of neglect. When the friend refused to take the videos down, tensions escalated. Read the full story below to learn more about this feathered conflict.

‘ AITA for banning my friend from my home after she refused to take videos of my bird down?’

Two years ago I adopted an African Grey Parrot who had suffered n**lect, it took me a long time to get her to trust me and now she is the most loving bird in the world (in my totally unbiased opinion), she is very popular with my friends and loves the attention and company as African Greys are incredibly intelligent and need constant stimulation.

One of her favourite things is to sing along her favourite Disney Songs a thing I indulge whenever she indicates she wants it on. It recently came to my attention my friend had filmed some of these sing-alongs and uploaded it to her youtube without my knowledge or permission, I found out as I went looking on my friends youtube for an old video of a night out with a friend who had passed that I was missing, so imagine my surprise when I found six videos of my girl singing.

This made me uncomfortable as it felt like she was exploiting her for views which after her previous n**lect and how long it took me to win her trust did not sit well with me. I confronted my friend about this and she told me it was harmless and it was nice to share cute moment and document it for the future, I told her if that was the reason she’d done this she’d have not hidden it from me.

I asked her to delete the videos and she refused, so I told her I didn’t want her back in my house until she took the videos down as I didn’t trust her to not try and get more videos. She thinks i’m being unreasonable as it doesn’t hurt my bird and it’s not like she’s a child who she is putting on the internet for views.

Maybe I was too hard on my friend but the whole situation feels gross, she is refusing to remove the videos still and has told our friends that i’m being ridiculous, most agree with me that it’s incredibly weird she uploaded the videos without my knowledge but a couple think i’m being too harsh as it’s “Just” a bird. Could I have handled this better? am I reacting too strong?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Winterfox1994 −  I do think it’s an overreaction to think someone filming something your pet is doing they think is cute is exploiting them like their previous abuse, insinuating that in your comment is not okay at all. They are not the same or even similar whatsoever.

However it is your pet and if you’re uncomfortable with them posted on a public platform that is completely fair enough to set a boundary due to the fact you don’t like it. Some people like to post their lives online, some don’t. I haven’t posted on most my social media profiles in years, I like privacy.

Tagged photos at events etc are unavoidable really and I don’t care much, but a photo of your pet in the privacy of your own home when you have said you don’t like it is pretty intrusive. If they can’t understand that they aren’t a real friend.

volumeoforgottenlore −  The bird has no conception of being put online or being exploited. The way you think about this bird is kind of unhinged. What you should be uncomfortable about is people filming in your house without your permission, not some weird notion that the bird is being exploited and having her trust violated.

Reasonable_Juice_799 −  Honestly, I think you’re both in the wrong here. This made me uncomfortable as it felt like she was exploiting her for views which after her previous n**lect and how long it took me to win her trust did not sit well with me.

This doesn’t make sense to me. Exploitation happens when you use someone or something *unfairly* for your own benefit. In the context of animal abuse, this typically happens when people *only* own their pet so they can exploit it – the animal(s) are typically malnourished/abused in some way.

That’s not what’s going on here. Nothing *unfair* is happening. Your bird is well taken care of. I really, really doubt your “relationship,” with your bird and the trust you’ve built with this animal is going to dissipate because your friend posted videos of the bird. Does your bird watch Youtube? So in this respect, you’re being a bit petty. If I was your friend I’d probably think, “Is this woman for real?”

However, your friend is also being petty. While your friend is under no obligation to take down the videos of your bird, at the end of the day, *they’re videos of a g**damn bird.* Both of you need to grow-up. I confronted my friend about this and she told me it was harmless and it was nice to share cute moment and document it for the future, I told her if that was the reason she’d done this she’d have not hidden it from me.

Hidden? How did she hide it? Just because she doesn’t show you every single video she takes, doesn’t mean she hid it! This really sounds like you’re just pissed of that she didn’t ask your permission. Which…fair enough. It’s your house and your bird.

Historical-Pie-3792 −  I’m gonna go against the grain here and say you need to be more reasonable. If my friends filmed my pet, I wouldn’t expect them to ask first. I don’t think animals have a reasonable expectation of privacy, regardless of their past. They don’t understand being filmed nor will they face any consequences for being on the internet. If she’s your friend, you should be assuming the best of her. I doubt she did this with bad intentions or “sneakily”, it sounds more like she just didn’t think to ask because she didn’t think it would be a problem.

Grimblyboy −  Reddit is so cooked bro holy f**k.

Full_Pace7666 −  NTA. I don’t care if it’s a bird, your child, or a totally radical new paint job in your living room. Nobody should be recording in your house with your knowledge or consent and ABSOLUTELY not posting any of it online.

drumrD −  ESH, you’re massively overreacting and confabulating your parrots previous abuse with this and your friend is clearly one of these vacuous morons who puts every detail of her doubtlessly beige life on the net for validation.

Roxxor247 −  NTA although it sounds like there’s more to the story (eg. Why you don’t trust your friend). My assumption is a video with singing birds is harmless but I could be wrong.

DaxxyDreams −  YTA for saying she’s exploiting your bird. She’s not. It’s a cute bird video. Your attitude toward the bird is a little … much.

thinbuddha −  YTA. It’s OK to not want the video to be public. It’s NOT OK for you to suggest your friend is “exploiting” your bird for doing the totally normal thing of uploading a cute video. I feel like there is something you aren’t saying here that would explain why it’s important for the video not to be publicly available. Whatever that is, you should apologize for questioning your friends character, explain why it’s important for the video to be removed, and ask them to please remove it.