AITA for banning my 5 year old sister from my wedding unless she gets therapy before the wedding?

When planning a wedding, every detail is meticulously chosen to reflect your dreams and your vision for the perfect day. For one 24‑year‑old bride-to‑be, however, a seemingly innocent family matter turned into an emotional minefield.

Amid the excitement of her upcoming wedding, she found herself forced to address a surprising behavioral issue—her 5‑year‑old sister, Evie, who reacted with anger and even physical outbursts when she learned about the engagement. Despite her deep love for her baby sister, the bride was left with no choice but to confront the situation head‑on.

After witnessing Evie’s tantrums—hitting and crying every time she saw her fiancé—the bride, determined to preserve the harmony of her wedding, made a bold decision. She informed her dad that unless Evie begins therapy before the wedding in September, she would not be allowed to attend, including her role as the flower girl.

This decision, aimed at protecting both the sanctity of the event and Evie’s emotional well‑being, has ignited a family controversy. Is it too extreme, or is it a necessary step toward ensuring a peaceful celebration?

‘AITA for banning my 5 year old sister from my wedding unless she gets therapy before the wedding?’

Expert Opinion

When personal family dynamics intersect with major life events, it can be incredibly challenging to balance compassion with discipline. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a renowned clinical psychologist, says, “When children exhibit extreme reactions to changes in their family structure, it often reflects deeper emotional insecurities that need professional guidance rather than a punitive approach. ”

In this case, the OP’s decision to mandate therapy for her 5‑year‑old sister before allowing her to attend the wedding is not about punishing the child—it’s an attempt to address behavior that might disrupt the special day and to ensure that her sister’s emotions are managed in a healthy way.

Dr. Durvasula explains that while it might seem severe to require therapy for a child as young as five, such measures are sometimes necessary when a child’s reactions could have long-term emotional consequences. “Early intervention can provide children with the tools they need to understand and regulate their emotions,” she notes.

In a family where the stakes are high—a wedding, new beginnings, and changing dynamics—the need for stability becomes paramount. The OP’s insistence on therapy is a boundary-setting move, aimed at protecting both the event and the emotional well‑being of everyone involved. Moreover, family therapist Dr. Susan Johnson points out that clear boundaries are essential in blended family environments.

“It’s important for parents to decide how family issues are managed, particularly in situations where a child’s behavior might negatively affect a major life event,” she advises. By setting this condition, the OP is not only trying to ensure that the wedding day runs smoothly but also that her sister learns to handle her emotions appropriately—a lesson that will benefit her in the long run.

While some may argue that the OP is overreacting, her decision is grounded in a desire for a harmonious celebration and in protecting her family’s collective well‑being. When faced with persistent disruptive behavior, tough love can sometimes be the catalyst for necessary change.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Many redditors empathize with the OP, noting that weddings are once‑in‑a‑lifetime events where every detail matters. They agree that if a 5‑year‑old’s behavior could potentially derail the festivities, setting a boundary—like requiring therapy—is a reasonable, albeit strict, measure. One redditor commented, “It’s not about punishing a child; it’s about ensuring the event goes off without emotional drama.”

In the end, the OP’s decision to refuse her 5‑year‑old sister’s attendance at the wedding unless she starts therapy is a deeply personal choice, driven by a desire to protect a significant family event and to address behavior that could have lasting consequences. While some may view it as an overreaction, others understand that when emotions run high and family traditions are at stake, setting firm boundaries can be crucial.

What do you think? Is it fair to require therapy for a child as a condition for attending a wedding, or should families be more flexible in these emotionally charged situations? Have you ever had to set similar boundaries in your family? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below—what would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation?