AITA for banning alcohol from Christmas?

A woman decides to ban alcohol from her home during Christmas, believing it’s time for her husband’s family to grow up and enjoy the holiday without drinking. She has never consumed alcohol due to her father’s history as an alcoholic and finds it childish to rely on it for fun.

After informing her husband’s family of the rule, many members express their displeasure and opt to attend an alternative gathering hosted by her sister-in-law instead. Her husband suggests they join the family at the other gathering, but she refuses, insisting it’s disrespectful.

This has led to tension between them as her husband wants to spend Christmas with family. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for banning alcohol from Christmas?’

My husbands family likes to drink. Every holiday includes multiple bottles of wine/cocktails. I hate drinking I have never drank my father was an a**oholic I think it’s childish if you can’t have fun without drinking.

This year I’m hosting Christmas for a change I decided since it’s at my house no alcohol allowed we are all getting older and it’s time to grow up. My husbands sister called to ask what she could bring. She saw a recipe for a Christmas martini that she wanted to bring. I told her about my no alcohol rule.

She didn’t say much but must have told the rest of the family. Some of them started texting me asking me if I was serious and saying that it is l**e. But I’m not budging. Now it turns out my husbands sister is hosting an alternate gathering that almost everyone is choosing to go to instead.

It’s so disrespectful all because they would have to spend one day sober.My husband told me he talked to his sister and we are invited to her gathering and he said we should just go and stop causing issues but I won’t it’s so rude.

Now husband is mad because I’m making him stay home and spend Christmas with me but it was my turn to host and I chose to have a no alcohol they could have dealt with it for one year.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

thexsunshine −  YTA and the Grinch who stole boozemas. Edit: Thank you all for awards may you be blessed this boozemas

[Reddit User] −  Kindly, YTA. I understand where you come from. But you need to understand where other people come from too. It’s not your wedding or your birthday : this celebration is not about you and your wants. It’s a celebration to bring people together.

Most people work hard all year and rarely get to see their family. When they do, they want to relax and celebrate. It sucks, but yes, alcohol is part of this. I get that you don’t want to see people dead drunk in your house : but there is an healthy “a couple of drinks” in between.

[Reddit User] −  YTA for a variety of reasons.

1. For unilaterally banning alcohol. It’s presumably your husbands house too so why didn’t you have a discussion with him?
2. For getting mad that someone else decided to host Christmas after they found out you banned alcohol. An invitation is not a summons and you’re imposing rules a lot of people don’t want to follow on the holidays.

3. From not allowing your husband to celebrate Christmas with his family. That’s not your decision to make.
4. For your overall attitude around your ILs and drinking. Having a few drinks for the holidays is okay, it’s not a gross or n**ty thing that we should judge.

niennabobenna −  YTA because you made an executive decision for everyone else and now you’re pouting because they found a way around you. That type of behavior is childish as well. You can make rules for your home.

You can choose to not drink and not like to be around drinking. Nobody else has to be forced to come in line with your expectations. They are allowed to do as they please, elsewhere.

Material-Profit5923 −  As a non-drinker who also saw my share of a**oholism, I totally understand where you are coming from. But unless something very specific has happened that you can point to, or you established up front that you wanted to host alcohol-free gatherings, YTA for making such a major change to the rules and expecting his family to fall in line.

Christmas is not about you–it’s about family, friendship, tradition, and celebrating together, and you chose to marry into a family in which alcohol is an integral part of their tradition. And your childish and “it’s time to grow up” comments are judgmental and downright sanctimonious.

I almost gave this an E S H because your husband wasn’t fully supporting you, but it seems like you didn’t actually discuss this rule change with him, and he does have a right to have input into something major like this.

SpeakingNight −  INFO:. Have any past christmases/events been absolutely ruined because of alcohol? By that I mean violence, drama, puking on the floor, whatever?
If not, this is a pretty strange rule to implement with your husband’s family. They have nothing to do with your father being an a**oholic.

If my boyfriend told my mother she can’t drink wine with her christmas supper I would find that weird as hell. YTA unless something truly awful happened previously due to alcohol that would explain this.

hanon318 −  I was hovering between N A H and YTA, but I’m going to go with YTA. The reason I’d say N A H is because you can set the rules at your house-they can choose not to attend because of it.

However, I do think YTA because of your attitudes towards people who drink, your judgmental attitude, for shoving your husband in the middle, and for thinking everyone else is TA because they don’t want to make the same choices you do.

You’re banning alcohol because you personally think it’s childish, you’re judging people who drink, and you’re surprised they don’t want to get together with you? Neither would I, and not because you’re not serving alcohol, but because of your snobby, holier-than-thou attitude.

You think you’re better than them because you don’t drink-or at the very least, that’s the vibe you’re giving off. EDIT: to clarify the ruling is YTA.

deliverance73 −  You get a Dry Xmas, they get a Merry Xmas. Your husband unfortunately is stuck with you.

TheAbaddon66 −  It sounds like you’re projecting your trauma onto everyone. YTA, go to therapy

Environmental_Belt22 −  YTA. Your attitude towards alcohol isn’t even based on how THEY act when they drink, it’s based on your own personal experience that THEY can’t relate to. It’s like watching the movie Babe and telling everyone that they will be vegan for Christmas even though, traditionally, they are used to having a roast, duck, and turkey.

It’s s**fish, and no one wants to be told that they can’t have something they are used to around the holidays. Sure it’s one day but it’s a day that people are used to drinking on because it’s a holiday. [You can host a dry dinner party any day of the year and you wouldn’t be the AH.

You took away all options and gave them an ultimatum, whether you intended to or not. Why couldn’t you just compromise and say that only one person can bring a**oholic beverages that way everyone is limited and less likely to get fully wasted?

Is the wife justified in enforcing a no-alcohol policy during her Christmas gathering, or is she being unreasonable by expecting her husband’s family to comply? What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments!