AITA for attending my half-sister’s wedding despite her mom not wanting me there?

A Reddit user shared their experience of attending their half-sister’s wedding despite objections from the bride’s mother due to their connection as the child of an affair.

While the bride wanted them there, the decision led to family drama and backlash, leaving them questioning whether their presence was the right choice. Read the story below to understand the conflict.

‘ AITA for attending my half-sister’s wedding despite her mom not wanting me there?’

I (22F) am the child of an affair. My dad (56M) cheated on his now ex-wife (53F) with my mom (52F). My mom had no idea he was married at the time when they were together, and broke up with him as soon as she found out.

After I was born, my dad wasn’t involved in my life aside from mandatory custody visits, and as a result I never got a chance to know my half siblings. However, in early January, I reached out to some of them through facebook. Surprisingly, they were open to a relationship, and since then, we’ve built a good connection.

Of my half-siblings (28F, 23M, 24F) my older half-sister, “Emily” (28F), was the most accepting. We’ve grown close over the past few months, and she even invited me to her wedding last month. The problem is her mom (my dad’s ex- wife). She has never forgiven my dad for the affair (understandable) and clearly resents me.

She made it clear to Emily that she didn’t want me at the wedding because of the circumstances of my birth and insisted I shouldn’t be invited since I was the reason their family was broken apart.

In fact, most of Emily’s extended family have gone out of their way to tell me it wasn’t my place to come to such a happy event after what my mother “did” (even though she had no idea he was even in a relationship and broke up with him as soon as she knew).

Emily insisted it was her wedding, and she wanted me there. I was torn but decided to go because Emily assured me it was okay. I knew this was a sensitive situation, but Emily reassured me multiple times that she wanted me there, and I didn’t want to disappoint her.

On the day of the wedding, I sat quietly in the back, didn’t interact much with anyone outside of Emily and her husband, and tried to be as low-key as possible. Unfortunately, her mom spotted me during the reception, and it was like a bomb went off.

She confronted Emily, caused a scene, and ended up leaving early. Some of Emily’s extended family members are now blaming me for ruining the wedding and making her mom uncomfortable. They say I shouldn’t have come, knowing the pain I represent.

I genuinely didn’t mean to cause issues. I only went because Emily wanted me there, and I thought I was supporting her. But now I’m wondering if I should have stayed away for the sake of keeping the peace.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Mother_Search3350 −  Emily’s mother caused the scene and ruined her daughters wedding. You are not responsible for the actions of a grown woman. . NTAH 

shammy_dammy −  Emily was the one who decided to set up the situation, not you.

pigandpom −  Emily’s mother ruined the wedding by throwing a tantrum. You did nothing wrong. Her marriage didn’t break apart because of you. It broke apart because of your father’s actions. NTA.

Amazing_Deal2358 −  Ill say this EVERYDAY- YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE for the behaviours and temper tantrums of grown adults
Her mom made the wedding about her, she ruined it NOT you

kukonimz −  1. Emily wanted you there. 2. You are not to blame for any pain caused by your dad. 3. Her mom is the one that selfishly ruined her daughter’s wedding. 4. Her family are a bunch of spineless AH, disrespecting Emily’s wishes for her own wedding. ** NTA. you and Emily are awesome. The rest of them are AH.

TipApprehensive8422 −  You aren’t the reason her marriage ended, your dad is.  I understand being pissed, but she’s aiming it at the wrong person.  Nta

T9Para −  If I were in your shoes.. I personally would not have gone .. it’s too much of a powder keg, and her mom is a lit fuse.. But that is ME. You choose to go, and mom went bonkers, as I would expect her to do. Also, it seems like a power struggle between the bride and her mother

StandingGoat −  NTA at all. This was Emily’s choice and she made it. Emily’s mother blames you and that’s not fair, especially in circumstances (of your mother not knowing your father was married) she also disrupted her own daughters wedding to throw a tantrum. She’s at fault.

It could probably have been handled better via Emily letting her mother know beforehand. You should probably reach out and offer sympathy to Emily, not apologies for attending but say you’re sorry that a disruption occurred.

Peculiar-Lady −  NTA- what does Emily think about you coming. She is likely embarrassed by her mom’s behavior. The situation for her sucks (that she got cheated on) but how is it your fault?

Cute-Profession9983 −  All of these family shifting blame tp you and your mom are obtuse @$$hats. Any time they try to pull that line, remind them that the only one to blame is their boy, dear old dad. HE cheated on his wife.

HE lied to your mother about being married. HE broke their family. Tell them it must be so nice to be able to s**pegoat an innocent woman and child when it’s their guy who owns ALL the blame

Do you think the Redditor was right to attend the wedding to support their half-sister, or should they have stayed away to avoid family conflict? How would you navigate such a sensitive situation? Share your thoughts below!