AITA for asking my wife to cut ties with her family after they invited her abusive ex to her birthday?
A soon-to-be-married man shares how he confronted his wife’s family for inviting her abusive ex to her birthday party at their home. This caused a rift, leading the couple to decide to go no-contact with her family,
but they’re now facing backlash, with the family accusing the fiancé of manipulation. The wife, however, supports her husband’s decision. Read the full story below to see if the husband is right in protecting his wife from her family’s actions.
‘ AITA for asking my wife to cut ties with her family after they invited her abusive ex to her birthday?’
I am 25 and my wife is 27, actually she isn’t my wife yet, we will get married in May, so I will call her my wife cause we both already consider each other as husband and wife even tho we aren’t officially, yet. I have been dating my wife since past 2 years and my wife is kinda emotionally fragile, she is traumatized a bit, she told me early on that her ex has been verbally abusive and was rough on her,
even when we were dating she was hesitant and during s** she would ask me to go ‘slow’. We are comfortable now but on her birthday which was 24 days ago, my soon to be mil and bil invited her ex on her birthday and in my home, I was pissed cause I knew what he did to my wife.
My wife immediately grabbed my hand when she saw him and she was scared, I asked him to get out and my wife’s family started convincing me but I didn’t listen and I kicked them all out. My wife is hurt even after almost a month and I did my best to help her we both decided to not invite them in our wedding and cut them off.
But they are saying through texts that I am going too far and manipulating her and they want to reconcile with my wife and I am keeping her away from her family
I asked my wife and she said she wants to stay away from them for now and wants to celebrate this year being officially married to me and she hates them for inviting her ex on her birthday.
Me and my wife has no problem with our decision, we are couples we make our decisions together but I am not feeling good about splitting my wife from her family and they are saying that I am manipulating her and send me texts about how evil I am, I tried to tell them that I just want to do what’s best for my wife but again they repeat the same s**t.
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
SparkleSelkie − In the end it’s her decision no matter what anyone thinks or says, even if you do decide things as a couple, even if they want back in her life. You checked with her, she doesn’t wanna be around them, you supported her in what she chose. NTA. Also f**k those people
Rare-Drawer-192 − The facts they invited through ex is problematic to begin with and to your house without your permission. You did good on kicking him out and them too for not understanding how messed up/disrespectful that was. You did right by letting her decide how she wants to proceed with them and making sure no further disrespectful stuff is said /tried
Vegoia2 − do a courthouse wedding, save the money for your life, a house, you’ll be happy you did. Good Luck.
daysailor70 − NTA What possible reason would her family have for inviting a abusive ex to your party for her, even if they didn’t know about the abuse. NC these people, they would probably invite him to the wedding as well
Healthy-Training7600 − They obviously are stupid people for inviting an ax to the current fiancé’s house. They also must really love her ex more than her, for some reason. Her family ITAH in this situation.
Temporary_Alfalfa686 − Nta but I think she needs to be the one to tell them
Quirky_Row_7793 − You were right to kick them all out. Well done! Your wife should be proud of you. You’ve shown you’re a real man and a loving and protective husband. I would ignore the family members who thought so little of your wife and were so insensitive as to invite her ex to her birthday.
They’ve shown their true colours and deserve no respect. That they can’t see what they did was so wrong is even worse. I’m glad your wife wants to put some distance between them.
Dinker_Dave − NTA. It’s your wife’s decision to cut off her family, not yours. You’re just supporting her and her well-being. Plus, inviting her abusive ex to her birthday is just cruel and unnecessary. Good for you for standing up for your wife.
Patricknc18 − You’re going to have to let your ‘wife’ step up and speak for herself here.
VastConsideration126 − Dude! You are the GOAT!!! You stood by her side when her family threw her under the bus for the ex, you threw them ALL out, and supported her in going no contact!!! You are the hero that we wish would be in all these toxic family stories! Thank you for being in her corner and I wish many blessings on your wedding!!
Do you think the fiancé made the right call in protecting his wife, or was he too harsh in cutting off her family? Should families always try to reconcile, even when past trauma is involved? Let us know your perspective in the comments!
For those who want to read the sequel: https://aita.pics/GafeL