AITA for asking my parents to start paying rent if they want to keep living with me?
A Redditor shares her struggle as a 19-year-old who inherited her grandmother’s house, which her parents moved into after experiencing financial difficulties. Initially supportive, she now feels her parents have become too comfortable in her home, making themselves at home and even redecorating without her consent.
Despite her attempts to discuss the need for financial contributions, her parents respond with frustration, insisting that family shouldn’t charge each other. Torn between love for her parents and the need for autonomy in her own home, she questions if she’s wrong for wanting them to pay rent. Read the full story below.
‘ AITA for asking my parents to start paying rent if they want to keep living with me?’
I’m (19F) in kind of a weird situation. I recently inherited my late grandmother’s house. It’s not a mansion, but it’s a comfortable home in a decent neighborhood. Here’s the thing: my parents (50s) moved in with me shortly after, saying it was temporary because they were struggling financially after some bad investments.
At first, I was fine with it. I mean, they’re my parents, right? But it’s been over six months now, and they seem really comfortable here—too comfortable. They don’t seem to be looking for new jobs or places to live. I’ve been paying for all the utilities, groceries, and maintenance out of my own money, which I saved up while working part-time and from the small inheritance I received.
They keep making these small comments about how it’s “their home too” since I wouldn’t have the house without them and my grandmother. They even redecorated part of it without asking me! I tried bringing up the issue, suggesting they could contribute financially at least by paying rent or utilities, but they got upset.
My mom said, “We’re family, we don’t charge each other,” and my dad said it’s s**fish to ask them to pay when they’re struggling. But I’m also struggling with balancing work and school, and it’s not like they’re making an effort to move out or even lighten the financial burden.
I love them, but I feel like they’re taking advantage of the situation. I don’t want to evict my own parents, but this is my space and I feel like I have no control over my own home anymore. AITA for asking my parents to start paying rent if they want to keep living with me?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
PremiumTVforDogs − They are taking advantage of you. They will bleed you dry if you let them. NTA.
gordonf23 − NTA. I think it’s reasonable to let them live there for a certain amount of time, and then start charging them rent, for the food they’re eating, for the utilities they use, etc. Yes, they raised you and let you live there for free. But that’s what parents do. That’s a responsibility they signed up for when they decided to have a child.
From the moment you were born, they OWED that to you. You didn’t sign up for this. They did. You’re all adults now. Presumably of working age and able-bodied, implied by your post. And with very few exceptions, adults don’t just get to live and sleep and eat and watch tv and and use the internet for free without contributing financially.
It’s very nice of you to allow them to live there for free. And, sure, there’s some moral obligation here to help them while they’re in a tough spot. But not permanently. And not if they’re not doing anything to lift themselves back to self-sufficiency. There’s also an opportunity cost for you.
You COULD be renting rooms in your house to other renters, which could seriously help with expenses. Their presence there makes it much more difficult to do that. So they’re essentially costing you that money by not paying their fair share of expenses.
I’d just tell them, “Mom and Dad, I’m really happy to have you guys here, and I haven’t minded doing it for free because you’re family, but I can’t keep up with expenses for 3 people. Starting in February, I’m going to have to start charging you guys rent. I think 9 months total is more than enough to find a job and help get yourselves back on your feet financially again and find a place of your own.”
That_Ad_5392 − NTA. You inherited and it’s your house. On top of that you’re paying the bills it’s not fair to you since your still young and figuring things out if that makes sense. Esp if you’re struggling. They should at least make effort to find a job
Serpent67 − No, they were struggling. They now live for free with no bills. They passed their struggling on to you. Tell them what I just said and to stop the bull s**t.
DisgruntleFairy − NTA – I think given the situation and finances it’s reasonable to ask a for some form of rent. Maybe get them to sign a lease too. It doesn’t have to be a huge amount, just enough to lighten your financial struggles.
Paganduck − NTA Tell them you are struggling and need to use their room for paying tenants.
Stranger0nReddit − They keep making these small comments about how it’s “their home too” since I wouldn’t have the house without them and my grandmother.
lol that is NOT how it works. If Grandma wanted it to be their house too she wouldn’t have left it to JUST you.
Beyond this, them calling YOU s**fish for trying to get them to contribute financially is ridiculous. THEY are being s**fish by expecting their 19 year old kid to pay their way. They are still relatively young and able bodied, there is zero reason for them to expect to rely on you to cover them financially for the foreseeable future. You are just starting your adult life, it’s not right for you to be bound to paying their way.
I get they are your parents and you don’t want to evict them, but they aren’t respecting you. Have a lawyer draw up a rental agreement for them to sign. If they are unwilling, time to look into your local eviction laws. They will likely try to guilt and manipulate you through this, but don’t give into that.
wta1999 − F**e
MarathonRabbit69 − NTA and you might need a lawyer
ciderandcake − Lol ChatGPT trash
Is the Redditor justified in asking her parents to contribute financially, or is she being unfair to her struggling family? How would you handle a similar situation where family dynamics and finances become complicated? Share your thoughts below!