AITA for asking my MIL to dish out more money for our wedding since she wants so many family members there?
A Redditor shared her frustration over her future mother-in-law’s decision to invite extended family to her wedding without permission. The bride and her fiancé had already carefully planned their guest list, but now they’re facing uninvited names and a growing budget.
She’s considering asking her MIL to contribute more financially since a large portion of the guest list consists of people her MIL insisted on inviting. Is she justified, or is she overstepping? Read the full story below.
‘ AITA for asking my MIL to dish out more money for our wedding since she wants so many family members there?’
A bride-to-be shared her frustration over an awkward wedding planning conflict with her future mother-in-law. She and her fiancé are preparing for their spring wedding and had carefully planned a guest list that included many of his family members she’s met and built relationships with.
However, things took an unexpected turn when she noticed unfamiliar names on their address collection form. It turns out her future MIL had shared their form with extended family members—without asking—and even forwarded it to people they explicitly decided not to invite, including a cousin her fiancé hasn’t spoken to since he was 10.
The bride now wonders if she’s in the wrong for:
a) Refusing to invite these unexpected guests, and
b) Asking her MIL to contribute more financially, considering that already one-third of the guest list consists of family members her MIL wanted, while fewer than a quarter of the guests are from her side.
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
twelvedayslate − I would say “we can’t afford to invite this many people. We need to cut down on the invite list” and see what she says. Maybe she’ll be fine with them not being invited. Maybe she’ll offer you money. But no one is obligated to pay for YOUR wedding.
Basilsainttsadface − NTA, but this falls entirely on your fiance’s shoulders to handle. It’s his mom. I firmly believe each spouse is responsible for for dealing with their respective parent. I hope your future hubby is willing to deal with this. If he can’t stand up to her and put up boundaries, you’re in for lots of fun and games. If she wants to intrude on the wedding, I promise she’ll do the same with you marriage. Set boundaries and enforce them.
SunnyBunnyHopHop − NTA, but I would suggest if you don’t actually want these other guests to come, then don’t invite them – and tell your MIL she can explain the address collection to the non-invitees herself. Bottom line, don’t let your MIL b**ly you into inviting ppl you don’t want at your wedding; it is your wedding, not hers. If you don’t really mind adding the other attendees, then it’s only fair MIL help cover the costs for them to attend.
Kasparian − Simply say: I’m sorry, but we won’t be able to accommodate anyone else. The guest list is set, and we won’t changing our minds.
Armorer- − Discuss this your partner first and agree to limit the guest list to previously approved guest list and have them communicate this to their parents without involving you. You should not ask for any financial support, just decline to add the guests.
Full_Pace7666 − I wouldn’t even ask for more money, just don’t invite the 4 people. NTA
Mammoth_Piglet_3063 − A lot of replies say to just not invite them, but how does this stop MIL? If she can forward the address form, she will find a way to forward the invitation. NTA, but don’t ignore this.
AgeBeneficial − My parents paid for additional family to attend. They didn’t demand or do something…this icky. We didn’t mind, but if we are paying for a wedding, we make the list.. She needs to pay or stfu.
Prestigious-Name-323 − NTA but just because she collected the address doesn’t mean you need to use it.
StAlvis − NTA. Just don’t invite them. Don’t even acknowledge her b**lshit. Don’t give her the satisfaction of feeling like she has any input at all here.
Do you think the bride is justified in asking her MIL to contribute financially if she insists on adding more guests, or should the couple stick to their original plan and enforce their guest list? How would you handle such a situation? Share your thoughts below!