AITA for asking my Husband if he has money for Ice cream?
A Reddit user shares a tense moment with their husband that arose during a family dinner, where they asked if he had money for ice cream after noticing he had taken out significantly more spending money than they had. Despite their intentions to manage finances responsibly and avoid dipping into household funds, the conversation quickly escalated, leading to accusations of financial abuse and embarrassment. Read the original story below to dive into this couple’s financial struggle.
‘ AITA for asking my Husband if he has money for Ice cream?’
This past year has been really hard on my husband. He hates his job, is having a difficult time trying to see his son, and a lot of debt has stacked up form reckless spending trying to make him feel better. We recently started to combine financials as well as having separate ones. This was done so i could manage our money and pull us out of debt again.
This has been working great till the other night. My husband and I where at my moms for dinner and as when started to pack up to leave he asked if we could get Dairy Queen. I asked him if he had money for Dairy Queen. I will add the only reason I asked is because each time we get payed we both take out spending money. On this pay cycle he took 200$ and I took 40$.
Well he didn’t have money for ice cream and I didn’t want to spend the house hold money because it was going to dip into bills. My mom gave us 10$ and we went on our way. In the car he “decided” he didn’t want ice cream and we ended up getting popsicles at the store later. I thought all was good til last night.
He stated that I not only embarrassed him in front of my mom but that I was being financially a**sive and he would no longer let me handle the money and I would have to give him an itemized list of bills if I wanted money to pay them. I apologize for embarrassing him and said my intention was not to abuse him but to help him think about his spending habits.
I pointed out he took 200$ for spending money and I had 40$. I still have 32$ and he already went through 200$. He said most of that went to paying people back for money he had borrowed so it doesn’t count. We still haven’t came to a new plan on how to handle money and I’m thinking about saying at my moms tonight so he has time to think. I hope he is just o**rwhelmed with life and not realizing he upset in general. So, am I the a**hole for asking my husband if he had money for ice cream?.
Check out how the community responded:
soog0704 − NTA, but I’m echoing concerns about your husband’s understanding of his financial habits. He is going to drag you down like an anchor in the sea if he can’t get a grip, OP.
Flaky-Ad-3265 − Why do women put up with having to babysit their husbands?
realkowalskianalysis − NTA, but fundamentally if you’re husband doesn’t see a problem with his spending habits there is a bigger concern here. There’s no point trying to show him how to handle his money if he doesn’t think there’s an issue with the way he’s handling his finances. You’re a wife, not a mother – you can’t micromanage your adult partner if they are insistent on being reckless.
mtlmn951 − NTA he’s the one who wanted the ice cream so you shouldn’t be expected to pay for it
sugaristoosweet − NTA- You certainly could’ve handled it more gracefully by not asking in front of your mother, but you’re right to exercise financial caution. My partner was in bad financial shape before we met and is currently pulling himself out of it. And the money he spent to pay people back *absolutely* counts if he’s paying them back for things he bought for himself.
Laiko_Kairen − The money he paid people back doesn’t count? Tell that to the bank. “Oh no, that money I spent doesn’t count!” Oh, Chase doesn’t care? Huh.
CivilAsAnOrang − NTA. You realize that your husband is going to ruin you financially and then blame you for his actions right?
conqueeftador-booty − Ummm why is he calling in so much? He sounds lazy. If he wants more money he needs to actually go to work and not call in.. YNTAH
SituationSad4304 − NTA. He shouldn’t have owed that many people money 🙄
Due-Procedure5918 − Being fiscally responsible isn’t financial abuse, it’s called being responsible and not buying stuff you can’t afford.
Do you think the Reddit user was wrong to ask their husband about money for ice cream, or was their approach reasonable given their financial situation? How would you navigate a similar disagreement over money in a relationship? Share your thoughts below!
