AITA for asking for a paternity test because the dates aren’t sitting right with me?

A Redditor (28M) finds himself in a whirlwind of emotions after his ex-girlfriend contacted him out of the blue, claiming she’s pregnant with his child. The problem? The dates don’t add up in his mind. They broke up four months ago, but her ultrasound shows she’s 13 weeks along. While he acknowledges he’s not an expert on pregnancy timelines, the discrepancy leaves him feeling unsure and prompts him to request a paternity test.

His ex is adamant that he’s the father and claims she hasn’t been with anyone else without protection, but her defensive reaction to his request for confirmation only raises more questions. Now, he’s facing pressure from her family, who accuse him of being a “prick” for asking for clarity before stepping up. Is he being unreasonable, or are his concerns justified?

‘ AITA for asking for a paternity test because the dates aren’t sitting right with me?’

Me and my ex broke up 4 months ago and I know that for fact. We havn’t spoke since then, and she hit me up out the blue with a scan picture yesterday and says I’m the Dad. The first question I asked was how far along are you? Purely for the fact I was being sent a scan pic, so she must of been a little along. She said she didn’t know for a while that she was pregnant because she has irregular peri*ds, but she found out, and by the time she had that scan the baby was 13 weeks.

Thought about it for a sec and that’s like 3 (and abit) months. But regardless of that I said why didn’t you tell me as soon as you found out? She said she was too scared (fair enough.) But then I brought the dates up, told her 13 weeks is like a little over 3 months, we broke up 4 months ago which would make her more 17 weeks, so I wasn’t fully convinced I was the dad, and that until I find out properly I don’t know what she wants from me.

She instantly got defensive, said I was the dad again, and said a pregnancy takes a few weeks after s** to properly begin and they go from THAT date or something?? (I’m not going to pretend I know every detail of pregnancy) and that I’m definitely the dad.

I still told her I wasn’t convinced. Last time we had s** was actually the day before we broke up. So I don’t see how I can be the dad? In my eyes there’s a month between that I didn’t sleep with her. I asked her if she’d fucked anyone else after we split, she said one guy, but they used protection.

I told her I was pretty adament that I wanted a test done. I’ve had her mum and her sister message me too, telling me I’m the dad and to stop being a p**ck. I’m not being a p**ck? There’s a jump in time between how far along she is, and the last time we slept together that’s confusing me.

Also told her I thought it was suspicious why she was acting this pissy over me wanting a test done and that i didnt see me wanting one as a big deal, and that my reason was valid, she said we can do the “stupid test” but there’s no need because I’m the dad and I should take responsibility, (I never said I wouldn’t) I said I WILL take responsibility, WHEN I find out the child is mine. And that until we can do this test, DON’T hit me up.

But I’m being made to feel like a f**king i**ot because of dates and times and details. She’s 13 WEEKS pregnant, and we broke up 4 months ago. That’s around 17 WEEKS. That makes no sense to me?!.

See what others had to share with OP:

mustang19671967 −  Go see a lawyer and have him send her a letter stating she needs to do paternity test and even if she says your not the dad after still get it so you have 100% proof.

kllbrand40 −  Not to mention that the pregnancy count starts the first day of the woman’s last period. So *usually* by the time a baby is conceived, it’s considered 2 weeks along already… if it’s yours she should be about 19 weeks…I would question it too. The counts are not always accurate but that’s pretty far off.

GloveImaginary4716 −  Lmao pregnancy does NOT take a few weeks after s** to properly begin, shes absolutley taking you for a fool. Do not do anything for that woman until you have verified proof of paternity. Id make sure the place they use is legit too.

Consistent_Snow_7735 −  You’d be an i**ot not to if the math ain’t mathing. NTA.

sanki4489 −  NTA, make sure to get the test done. don’t take any responsibility until and unless the she is willing to take the test.

Brief_Calendar4455 −  She got boned by someone else. She contacted him first and he told her to get lost. You are her only option. Test is the only way to determine paternity. Needs to be done. If you are the father step up. If you are not the father tell her good luck.

Euphoric_Penalty9179 −  Dont sign the birth certificate without verifying. Goes without saying you’d think, but even if that kids isnt yours, once you sign that cert they might as well be.

Habit-Shot −  A moment’s google search indicates that a pregnancy start date is measured by the first day of her last menstrual period, because conception usually occurs about two weeks after a period. So, hypothetically, if I’m reading right, the ‘official’ start date will always be BEFORE the date of actual conception. Which also seems weird to me, but it would validate your hunch that there’s something funky here. That being said, biology is fucky, definitely get the test done and try not to be an a**hole in the meantime. On the off-chance it IS your baby, there’s no sense in burning bridges.

Bored_Cat_Mama −  NTA. They don’t calculate pregnancy based on a date after s**. Pregnancy is usually calculated based on the first day of the Last Menstrual Period. It’s pretty weird, really… The first day of the last period is calculated as day 1 of the pregnancy (almost 2 weeks before actual conception), and the entire pregnancy is counted in weeks…a full pregnancy lasts 40 weeks. SO…if she is considered 13 weeks pregnant by an OB’s calculation, then conception was actually about 11-12 weeks ago. If you haven’t had s** with her in over 16 weeks, there is no way you’re the father.

K_A_irony −  NTA. She is an EX. It would be normal to try and establish paternity for someone you are no longer married to or dating.