AITA for asking an annoying pest of a waiter to leave us alone during a serious conversation?

A Reddit user found themselves in a challenging situation while trying to have a serious conversation with their mother at a restaurant. Despite their desire for a quiet and private atmosphere, a persistent waiter kept interrupting them with questions and attempts to upsell.

After multiple distractions, the user firmly requested that the waiter leave them alone until they needed assistance, leading to a complaint to the manager. Now the user is left wondering if they were in the wrong for asking for some peace during a heartfelt discussion. To explore this dilemma further, read the original story below.

‘ AITA for asking an annoying pest of a waiter to leave us alone during a serious conversation?’

My mom and I decided to have a heartfelt conversation while enjoying dinner at a local restaurant. We were discussing some deeply personal matters and needed a quiet, private environment. However, the entire experience got derailed due to a persistent and annoying waiter.

At first, the waiter seemed friendly, which we appreciated. But as our conversation progressed, it was like they transformed into an annoying pest. They kept interrupting us, demanding our attention by asking how the food tasted, attempting to upsell us on various items, and hovering around our table.Their constant interruptions were becoming incredibly grating.

At one point, I decided to take a stand. I politely, albeit firmly, asked the waiter not to come back to our table unless we explicitly signaled them. I explained that our conversation was important and that their persistent interruptions were disruptive. They seemed taken aback, but they did give us some space for a brief period.

However, The waiter apparently complained to the manager about my request for some peace and quiet. The manager came over to our table to address the situation. While the manager was understanding, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was being treated as the bad guy here.

Am I the a**hole for telling this annoying pest of a waiter to leave us alone during a serious conversation? Could I have handled this differently, or was my plea for some understanding and space reasonable considering the circumstances?

Lets dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Jmiller4230930 −  In Europe, this isn’t an issue. The wait staff takes your order, delivers it, and then leaves you alone to enjoy your meal. You signal them for the check. They hover in the states, because they are dependent on tips. NTA, you were polite. I have no idea why the waiter escalated it to his manager.

HeirOfRavenclaw −  YTA 100%. “Needed a quiet, private environment”. THEN GO TO ONE. You went to a public restaurant where someone’s job is literally to go to your table through your time there. You sound terrible to interact with. I doubt he “complained” to his manager. Manager likely asked why he was avoiding the rude people at that table, as it’s his f**king job to watch his tables.

And the way you call him an “annoying pest”. Have some f**king time to reflect, you are the annoying person who chose a public restaurant when needing a “quiet private place”.. E**itled and rude.. YTA.. Edit: gendered neutral. Also the non North Americas are hating this post, but it’s so against their cultural norms so I understand why.

Edit 2: Okay wow, ten years and first gold. Neat. Thanks! Edit 3: Reddit cares now too? lol thanks. This has turned out be quite polarizing. Also I’m not American, but people seem to be making this assumption a lot. I really don’t care if you never want to visit the USA, so no need to tell me about it.

Urbanyeti0 −  NTA as a waiter you seat them, get a drinks order, return with drinks and take the meal order, then return with food, make 1 “everything okay” check, then return to clear the plates, repeat for each course and then once for the final bill. Other than that, only when signalled

ResponseMountain6580 −  What crappy customer service.. Please can we have some privacy. *sends another member of staff over*. NTA

MoogleShoopufXV −  NTA. I’m guessing you’re in the US with the whole tipping culture thing? In Europe, this wouldn’t happen as who wants to be bothered every five minutes while you’re trying to eat or have a conversation?

Wild-Calligrapher316 −  Former server here (American). Different customers frequently wanted different levels of attention from me. I would always try to pick up on the cues they would give me, but it was even better if they flat out told me they were going to be talking for a while and not to come back unless they signaled.

Now, if the server only has 3-4 tables in their section and you’re seeing those tables turn more than once during your conversation, it’s only fair to tip generously for the income they are losing by you taking up that table. NTA, server should have just left well enough alone.

Tiny-Giant- −  Omg this is so weird and maybe it’s a difference in cultures but everyone is within their right to go out to dinner to talk and bond with their friends and loved ones. NTA. You’re allowed to want to be left and not sold things. Where I am that’s a huge way not to get a tip.

Medeya24 −  YTA, if you wanted a private uninterrupted conversation you could have discussed things in your own home over tea or coffee. Or went to a self service cafe like Panera when you would get your own food after paying for it. You don’t go to a full service restaurant and then get upset that you were being served and taken care of.

GeekyGoesHawaiian −  NTA – I don’t even think this is cultural, because although I know in Europe waiting staff don’t interrupt people’s dinner as much as in the US where they’re trying to upsell for tips; but you asked the waiter politely to stay away until called, that’s a reasonable request, and then he did the exact opposite by sending another staff member over!

If the waiting staff want to tout for tips I’d say top of the list on how to get them would be to listen to the customers they’re serving and oblige a request so long as it’s reasonable, and this was reasonable.

[Reddit User] −  I don’t know I disagree. you want to provide a service, but not become so disruptive that people can’t enjoy their time there. Most meals are made to be enjoyed with family over conversations.. NTA

Do you think the Redditor was justified in asking the waiter to give them space during their conversation, or should they have handled the situation differently? How would you approach a similar scenario where your important discussion is being interrupted? Share your thoughts below!