AITA for asking a kid to please get off my porch and trying to find out where they came from?

A Reddit user, a 41-year-old woman, shared a situation where a child, approximately 3 years old, was spotted on her porch by her security camera, playing with decorations, opening her mailbox, and pulling on the door handle. After unsuccessfully asking the child to leave through the camera speaker, the woman reached out to her neighbor to inquire if the child was theirs, but received an angry response when she expressed concern.

Despite the child being young, the Reddit user is frustrated by the lack of adult supervision and feels uncomfortable with the situation. Read the full story below…

‘ AITA for asking a kid to please get off my porch and trying to find out where they came from?’

Reposting since I think it got deleted? Not sure how this works since this is my first one of these. So for reference, I (41 F) have generally had a cordial relationship with my neighbors, we don’t talk too much but we talk when we see each other or we need to discuss property stuff.

This afternoon I was out Christmas shopping and my security camera notifications start going off like crazy. I looked and it was someone’s kid (roughly 3?) on my porch, pulling on some of my decorations, then I saw them open my mailbox, and pull on the door handle. I saw no adults in sight through the camera. I immediately call my neighbor to see if it’s one of their relatives, no response.

I call through the camera speaker and ask the kid to please not play with things on my porch, they didn’t listen. I asked them to please go back to their parents. They stayed on the porch for like 10 minutes and I gave up. Finally I get angry texts from the neighbor, I guess it was a relative. They simply responded with “they’re just a baby”.

I said, “look, all I saw was some kid I didn’t know on my porch opening my mailbox and playing with things while I wasn’t there, and it was stressing me and my cat inside out.” They got angry and said “ok cool, hey never ask us for anything in the future. He’s a baby and was just admiring your decorations” clearly pissed at me.

Was I in the wrong to be upset that there was a random child on my porch and trying to figure out who they were? I get the kid was young and curious but I personally would never let my kid go up and play on someone’s porch when they weren’t home or without permission?

Edit to add: Just found out they WERE there, but either in their own yard or their own porch, since I couldn’t see them on the camera. Maybe that made it ok in their mind, but to me that then means they were actively watching their kid go on my porch and pull on things and didn’t even bother to stop them? I dunno, still not cool to me.

Second edit: I could have worded the title better. I wasn’t just yelling at the kid to get off my porch. I was having to go back and forth from my camera app to using my phone or texting. I started by asking who the parents were, no response so I sent some texts. Went back to the camera app and yelled out some names of neighbors to see if anyone could hear me, no response so I went back out of the app to call.

Went back to the camera and that’s when I asked if the kid could find their parents. The last time I closed the app to make another call was when I got the text back from the neighbor finally. I swear I wasn’t just yelling at a kid y’all. But I do understand the concern. I wanted to try the neighbors first because even if it wasn’t theirs they would be closer than the police.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

mizfit416 −  NTA – unattended children don’t belong on other people’s property, PERIOD.

StAlvis −  NTA. He’s a baby and was just admiring your decorations. F**k that.. Admire from the sidewalk.. I saw them open my mailbox. A parent should be horrified at a kid f**king with someone’s mail.

Ok-Syllabub-1292 −  hi op.  ynta, but your neighbour certainly is for: 1. letting the lil kid unattended on your property, so for not teaching boundaries, 2. for not assuring the safety of the toddler. 3. for cutting ties wirh you because you cared enough to voice your concern before something happens to said kid while he was in your property. I suggest you keep up your vigilance, it could well save a life.  

LowBalance4404 −  They are lucky you didn’t call the police to report a lost child that appears to have no adult supervision and might be missing. And NTA. People need to keep their kids on their own property. If that kid gets hurt playing with your stuff, you know they would hold you liable.

ATXNerd01 −  NTA – If “they’re just a baby” then they most definitely shouldn’t be playing unattended on someone else’s property. Even if it was acceptable for random neighbor toddlers to play on your porch, a responsible supervising adult should have been within earshot and heard your communication attempts and prevented the child from messing with your mail.

Depending on the circumstances, a random child wandering the area would warrant a call to the police. In your shoes, I would have strongly considered calling the cops to make sure the child was okay and didn’t wander into traffic.

PreviousPin597 −  NTA, next time call the police and tell them there’s an unattended child on your porch and no one is answering your calls. Your neighbor is way out of line here. Was anything damaged? 

PickledBabiesOnARoof −  Next time call cps, for leaving their child unattended.

Dreamweaver1969 −  Unattended child is an automatic call to the cops.

Couldthisnamebetaken −  NTA This was a perfect teaching opportunity for them to tell the kid “nope, this is someone else’s yard. We don’t touch other people’s stuff” and they blew it.

im_a_wildflower −  ESH for not calling the police. You saw an unattended three year old and your first thought was just to tell him to get off your porch?? That’s an extremely dangerous situation where the child could have been seriously injured if they were really unattended.

I get reaching out to the neighbors first but when they didn’t answer, you immediately should have called the police. All the NTA is kind of crazy to me, like yeah I get that you eventually found out that the kids parents were there and letting the kid do whatever which is messed up of them but you didn’t know that at the time.