AITA for arguing with my husband because his female boss is taking him to lunch at Hell’s Kitchen when it was always our plan to go try it together for the first time?
A wife got upset when her husband accepted his female boss’s offer to take him to Hell’s Kitchen for lunch, as it was a place the couple had always planned to visit together. The meal isn’t work-related but a gesture of appreciation from the boss, who favors the husband.
While the husband has been faithful, the wife feels hurt because it was supposed to be their special experience. Now, they’ve been arguing about it for days. Read the original story below…
‘ AITA for arguing with my husband because his female boss is taking him to lunch at Hell’s Kitchen when it was always our plan to go try it together for the first time? ‘
My husband 40 male was recently asked by his 52 year-old female boss if she could take him out for lunch at Hell‘s kitchen. I admittedly was a little upset to hear that he had taken her up on this offer because him and I always planned to go to Hell’s kitchen together. We watch the show together.
We’re both fans of Gordon Ramsay and we always talked about going together for the first time one day. The only issue was money saving up for it, but she can afford it easily. His boss lost her husband unexpectedly a few years ago and has one son who she doesn’t get along with.
She is very attractive for her age and seems to really favor my husband. Am I the a**hole for getting upset with him for accepting this offer, or am I being jealous and dramatic? We’ve been arguing about it for a couple of days now.
Edit to add: thanks for all the responses. I’m 4 years younger than him and in the same field of work. Some additional info… it is not a work lunch, it is just because and she asked him because she knows he just really wants to go. It is not during business hours it’s on their own time.
She’s bringing him to show her appreciation for doing a great job at work. There is no promotion on the line, he’s capped out basically. After reading all the comments I have to say I am definitely more disappointed about the fact my husband and I had planned to experience it together for the first time when we had extra funds.
I cannot go as I will be out of town that day with family. However, I was also not invited to begin with. She is paying for the whole meal out of her own pocket. And I will admit that yes, I am weary and a bit jealous of the whole situation. My husband has decided he is definitely going. He has always been faithful that I know of… so it’s more hurtful that we were suppose to go experience it together.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
[Reddit User] − NTA. I don’t think it has much to do with Hell’s Kitchen as much as it does a attractive single woman that favors your husband taking him out. I think many would feel a certain way about that. But, if she takes co-workers out regularly like this it shouldn’t be a problem imo.. Need more backstory
Sad_Cryptographer689 − Not sure what you expect him to do here. Turning down his boss because his wife is jealous is not a good career move. Like others have said, this doesn’t seem to be about the restaurant and more about an insecurity you have with this woman.
applebum8807 − Well clearly them going to a place you two have beein planning to try is not really the problem here, you would not have pointed out her appearance, the fact that she is widowed or her relationship with her son. If you’re threatened by her, just say that. Don’t make it about the restaraunt. YTA
Alarmed-Ad7933 − YTA. This is a lunch during work hours, not an after hours dinner. When you boss asks you to lunch, generally, you go. I think you’re tripping. They could be discussing a promotion for all you know. This is a bit sexist tbh.
HeatherAnne1975 − YTA and very sexist. I’ve taken male employees to lunch plenty of times before. And we try to pick good restaurants. To think of this as anything more than a business lunch is incredibly sexist. Who cares if she’s attractive, list her husband and does not get along with her son? In what world is that even relevant?
NotUrPunchingBag − I’m reserving judgement because you pointed out that his boss is attractive, widowed(?) and apparently favors your husband.
Why point this out? Are you trying to hint that the boss has n**arious intent by taking her employee to lunch?
RoyallyOakie − INFO: Is this about the restaurant of choice, or about the boss?
CasuallyCruising − YTA. You’re waiting for money? How long as this been dragging out? There’s no reason for him to not go solely because you had a plan to do it together at some nebulous time in the future.
I’m not willing to entertain the idea that the 2 of them are fooling around since he was up front and told you. If things are not as they seem, well you’re still TA for the reasons you’ve listed but then you’ve gotten some much bigger fish to fry.
rcloaf − seems to really favor my husband. Perhaps because he is good at his job? It is standard for managers to take good people on their team out to lunch to build rapport and retain them. YTA.
IHaveBoxerDogs − YTA. Are you jealous about the restaurant, or do you actually think she’s making a play for him? If it’s just the restaurant, I do agree when you call yourself jealous and dramatic. If you think she’s actually making a move on him, that’s a bigger problem and you should talk to him. But pouting about a nice outing for him isn’t a good move.
Is she overreacting, or does she have a point? What would you do? Share your thoughts below!
