AITA for announcing my pregnancy to my family?

A woman (29) happily announced her pregnancy to her family, only to face backlash from her sister-in-law (37), who has been struggling with infertility for three years. The woman had previously delayed trying for a second child out of respect for her sister-in-law but decided to move forward as her first child approached four years old.

Despite her joy, her announcement and a lighthearted social media post about pregnancy cravings upset her sister-in-law, leading to family tensions and her sister-in-law refusing to attend Christmas. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for announcing my pregnancy to my family ?’

My sister in law (37f) has been trying to get pregnant for almost three years now and have had a very rough and tough time trying to conceive. It has always been a sensitive subject around the family and my husband (29m) and I (29f) have held back from having our second child due to this reason.

We wanted to give her the chance to have a child before we tried for another one. We always wanted to have our first child to be closer in age with their next sibling. Our little one is turning 4 next year and we said now is the time. We tried and had a miscarriage.

A month after that we are all happy after knowing we are pregnant again! Overjoyed by news I shared the news to the family. SIL was upset on how I shared the news and family was pretty in the middle.. ultimately I can’t share my pregnancy to anyone until after my first trimester so I don’t hurt SIL feelings.

A week after that happened, I shared a story on my social media of a funny skit of a pregnant woman wanting to eat healthy but her pregnancy cravings is telling her to eat chocolate instead. SIL was so upset and told everyone she won’t be attending Christmas with the family.

And that I wasn’t understanding her and how hard it has been for her. At this point, I just don’t even want to be pregnant… so people could stop making me feel bad for even expressing any small thing about pregnancy.

See what others had to share with OP:

ABeerAndABook −  NTA.  SIL is being unreasonable. While I understand why she is upset about *her* situation, she doesn’t get to declare a baby moratorium on everyone she is in contact with because of it. Any third party family members making OP feel upset about a planned pregnancy can go fudge themselves.

Prangelina −  NTA but you are TA to yourself for postponing a kid you wanted to have closer to the sibling. I get that SIL’s situation is awful, and I know what it feels like to be jealous of something others have and you don’t. However, as sad as it is, it shouldn’t be YOUR problem.

You are not pregnant AT her, and unless you gloat about it you are doing nothing wrong. It is up to your SIL to manage her feelings, she absolutely shouldn’t shift this responsibility onto you.

houseonpost −  Based on what you’ve shared NTA. But holding back from your own family planning is weird. It sounds like everyone is on pins and needles catering to SIL. The fact that everyone is one the fence with you being an AH is also weird. How exactly did you share the news?

Did you tell SIL directly in an understated way? “Just to let you know I have news that may make you feel uncomfortable so I wanted you to know first before I tell the rest of the family.” would have been a kindness.

Or did you do a big in person announcement with everyone there including SIL? That way doesn’t allow SIL to get over her disappointment in private before putting on a brave face.. Congratulations on the new baby.

Accomplished-Bat805 −  She’s mad about how you shared the news. How did you share it?

AnonAnontheAnony −  NTA – your sister’s loss and hardship are not the eggshells for you to walk on.

Thick_Secretary3701 −  NTA and actually this opinion might make ME the AH but I am so freaking tired of these stories about infertile women sucking the joy out of anyone else’s pregnancy. The fact that you felt you had to put off a second kid when you wanted them to be close in age is ridiculous.

Yes being infertile when you wanted a kid really sucks & I feel for them but I feel like the lengths people go to appease them or allowing them to act like this because “well it’s hard for her” has gone way too far.

Totally valid for them to be sad hearing of another pregnancy but it’s inexcusable to make someone feel like they don’t even wanna be pregnant anymore because of the drama. OP I’m really sorry you feel that way. Ignore her & the rest of your family & focus on having a happy healthy pregnancy.

Lunar-Eclipse0204 −  NTA – You aren’t responsible for her feelings, honestly you should have had kids in your timeframe not worrying about her. You are doing nothing wrong and people need to stop tiptoeing around her. Life goes on for others, is she like that with friends.

Congratulations and now go and spread your news and be happy for your next bundle of joy to arrive and anyone who makes you feel like you are wrong, tell them then they have no place in your life until they can see they are wrong.

BroccoliSubstantial2 −  AITA? Nope. NAH. Life’s unfair, emotions are messy, and pregnancies—even the announcement of them—can pack a punch.
First off, congratulations on your pregnancy! That’s joyful news, and it’s okay to feel overjoyed.

You deserve to share that joy with your family and, importantly, not feel guilty for your happiness. Life doesn’t stop for someone else’s struggles—it doesn’t mean you don’t care deeply, but you also can’t put your life on hold forever.

Your sister-in-law’s reaction makes sense too—grief, disappointment, and envy don’t follow the rules of decorum. She’s hurting, not because you did something wrong, but because life hasn’t given her what she so desperately wants.

It’s her pain speaking, not a judgment on you as a sister-in-law or person. Give her some time and grace. That said, it’s okay to set boundaries for yourself. You can’t tiptoe around your pregnancy forever. You’re not ‘bragging’ by sharing the skit; you’re just being a normal, excited human.

Maybe check in with SIL later—something like, ‘I can’t imagine how hard this has been, and I want you to know I’m here for you. But I also hope it’s okay for me to feel happy right now too.’ It shows empathy while acknowledging your own right to joy.

And one last thing: don’t let this dull the glow of your pregnancy. You’re growing a tiny human, after all—a miraculous little person who will one day be the bane of your sleep schedule and the light of your life.

So eat the chocolate, post the skits, and remember—life isn’t a competition, but there’s room for everyone’s happiness to coexist, even if it takes a little time.

safesunblock −  Why would you ever plan your own family structure based on somebody else’s (who lives outside of your nest) feelings. Seriously IMO a two year gap is better than a four year gap if you want siblings to have tight bonds. Reference – seen it and done it).

You kinda already flew past that one. Please don’t hold off your family planning for someone elses feelings. Also, be stronger and bolder for your little growing family.

Balancing joy and sensitivity can be challenging in such situations. Was she right to share her news, or should she have waited? What do you think? Share your thoughts below!