AITA for accidentally calling out a new colleague on lying about her language skills?

A Reddit user (25f) shared their experience with a new colleague (33f), Cathy, who claimed to be fluent in three European languages, including Dutch and French. When the user spoke Dutch to her, Cathy reacted negatively, claiming she had a terrible accent and wasn’t fluent. The situation escalated when the user suggested speaking French, leading Cathy to accuse them of trying to embarrass her.

Cathy later called the user a “bully” behind their back. The user is now wondering if they were in the wrong for calling out Cathy on her language skills and if they should apologize to keep the peace. To learn how others have responded to the situation, read the full story below…

‘ AITA for accidentally calling out a new colleague on lying about her language skills?’

Last week a new colleague “Cathy” (33f) started at my (25f) work place. She instantly stood out in the team, because she seems like someone who is very… loud and assertive? Two of my colleagues, me and Cathy were having coffee in the break room (we were the only ones in there and we were sitting far apart), when the subject of travel was brought up.

My colleague said she wasn’t booking trips anymore because it’ll probably get cancelled because of covid anyway. Cathy, immediately cut in about how sad she is because she travels so often and she goes on these far “exotic” trips to Europe as her hobby. When I think exotic I think the Bahamas or something instead of Europe but.

Cool. Cathy then jokes about how all this “no travel business” is making her fear that she’ll lose some of her foreign language skills. I asked what languages she spoke. She claimed to be fluent in 3 European languages, among which were French and Dutch.

Cathy said she was “at a native speaker level” and went on about how people in Europe were always surprised when they found out she wasn’t from there. I was excited, because I never get to speak Dutch over here. I was raised in Belgium, which has three national languages: French and Dutch (which are my mother tongues and the most commonly spoken there) and German.

It’s quite common to be pretty fluent in at least two out of the three languages in Belgium, because you’re required to learn them at school (along with English) from a young age. I told Cathy “oh leuk, dan hebben we iets gemeenschappelijk!” (“oh fun, we have something in common then!”)

She immediately pulled this sour face and asked me if that was supposed to be Dutch. I said yes. She laughed awkwardly and said she “couldn’t understand because I have a terrible accent and must not be that good at speaking it.” Now see, I don’t have an accent. I speak Dutch more fluently than I speak English.

I told Cathy that I grew up speaking Dutch and speak it to my family all the time. She got miffed and asked what languages I speak and where I’m from. I told her I’m from Belgium, so I also speak French and I added “which you just said you speak as well, cool! We can speak French instead!” I acknowledge that I was a bit of a d**k here,

because by that point I knew she probably lied about speaking French as well. She then shoved her chair back and angrily got up, said “whatever” and stomped off. It was awkward. My other colleagues just kinda shrugged and said she shouldn’t have lied.

However, she later approached me and told me I embarrassed her by acting “superior” about my European heritage. I told her there was no way for me to know she’d lied about speaking those languages. She rolled her eyes and told me I was immature.

A colleague told me that Cathy had called me a “little b-word who enjoys b**lying new colleagues” behind my back later. I don’t think I was a b**ly at all, but I don’t want this to turn into a huge thing. Do I just apologize to keep the peace? AITA?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

StAlvis −  NTA I embarrassed her by acting “superior” about my European heritage, I mean, not *that*, but you **are** superior to her in that you don’t feel the need to lie to impress people. Cathy had called me a “little b-word who enjoys b**lying new colleagues” Oh, Cathy… talking aloud into the mirror again?

Glittering-Pizza-568 −  NTA. She claimed to speak a language. It’s not your fault that she lied. It’s a risk she ran in telling the lie!

shihtzupiss −  NTA she said she spoke the language. You spoke to her in the language. She didn’t understand it. She got embarrassed. The problem is her.

[Reddit User] −  NTA but you should take this incident to HR. She’s talking about you behind your back and using language that isn’t appropriate for the workplace. HR needs a heads up.

littlehappyfeets −  ” She laughed awkwardly and said she “couldn’t understand because I have a terrible accent and must not be that good at speaking it.”. The *audacity*. Lol.. NTA

Quirky_Anxiety_4545 −  NTA. This is exactly why people shouldn’t claim to speak languages they don’t know. Eventually, you will find someone who actually speaks said languages. It’s not b**lying to get excited about being able to speak your native language with someone else.

[Reddit User] −  NTA, you didn’t even catch her on purpose, and it was stupid of her to lie (multiple times).. ​ Unrelated but to me Europe does feel more exotic than the Bahamas, I guess it all depends about frame of reference

Not_Cleaver −  NTA – She deserved that to happen to her. Don’t brag about skills you don’t actually have. And then for to say that you had a terrible accent is beyond the pale. She owes you an apology not the other way around. And several at that. She’s the one who is acting like a b**ly.

A well-meaning person would have said after your correction that you were born in Belgium – Well, I guess I have to work on it then, still a bit rusty. Can you slow it down for me?

tomtomclubthumb −  NTA – you didn’t call her out. She said she spoke a language and when you spoke to her in that language she insulted your skills. So she created a situation where you pointed out that you are a native speaker. In your position I would have spoken to her in French to push the point, but I am petty like that.

You should not apologise, she tried to be snobby, you accidentally pointed out a lie and then she decided to double down, messed that up and then trash talked you behind your back. I would totally speak to her in French and Dutch every time I saw her.

steffenrem −  NTA. She is a **kringspiermusketier** who deserve the shame of lying and behaving like a bek