AITA brother in law asked my family to move our Christmas vacation we had planned after they (him and fiance) decided to honeymoon in the same city at same time?

A Redditor shares a clash with their brother-in-law, who requested they reschedule a long-planned Christmas trip. The conflict arose after the brother-in-law and his fiancée changed their honeymoon plans to overlap with the Redditor’s family vacation in Gatlinburg. Despite the Redditor’s assurance they wouldn’t interfere with the honeymoon, the brother-in-law insisted they adjust their plans, causing tension just days before the wedding. Read the full story and decide who’s in the wrong.

‘ AITA brother in law asked my family to move our Christmas vacation we had planned after they (him and fiance) decided to honeymoon in the same city at same time?’

My wife and I (TN residents) are flying down to Miami for Brother in law’s wedding 2 days before Christmas. We are only there a short time to celebrate and then come back home for our relaxed family trip to Gatlinburg that we have had planned for over a year. We have talked for 2 years about starting a tradition for our growing, young family to vacation in that area for the holiday in a cabin.

My brother in law who was originally going on a cruise directly after his wedding has changed plans to honeymoon in Gatlinburg. He texts me asking my wife and I to move our Christmas plans either later on or to not show up at all so he can focus on his honeymoon. Mind you we had no intention on crashing his honeymoon or making a point to see them while there. This trip is about my 1.5 yr old daughter.

I also own a small business and have jobs lined up for when we get back so I really can’t move the dates without risking the wellbeing of my family. I told him that we will not be changing time or location of our trip. Am I the a**hole for standing my ground? I’m an easy going guy so maybe that got taken for weakness.

We are going out of our way (dealing with nashville and miami airport on Christmas eve) to attend his wedding and now they want us give up our Christmas plans too? I’m blown tbh. My wife is what I would call a hard-headed, strong individual so I’m assuming this is why he texted me instead. Now the vibe at his wedding will be off and I’m confused to why drama had to be started.

Check out how the community responded:

Primary-Criticism929 −  NTA. Your future BIL is not entitled to tell you when and where you can take a vacation. If he does not want to take the chance to see you, he should have gone elsewhere for his honeymoon. What a rude guy. Why is your sibling marrying him ?

Flinx98 −  NTA You have had this trip planned for over a year and your BIL changes his honeymoon on a whim at almost the last minute and he expects you to change your plans?? Wow he is either really entitled or delusional. I’m betting he talked to you since he knows his sister will tell him to go fly a kite (probably is a very graphic way) or is hoping to create drama between you and her.

My advice is go to the wedding and if he brings this up again either ignore him or tell him to ask his sister what she thinks of the idea but to stop bugging you about it. Either way make sure you tell your wife about this so she does not get blindsided at the wedding or before it.

Trick_Magician2368 −  NTA – I’d just be like “ok, sure…” anytime he brings it up again; then, just go to Gatlinburg anyway. Your brother and his wife should be shacked up most of the time they’re there; what are the odds they’ll run into your crew at D**k’s/moonshine factory/slingshot/etc….?

SoImaRedditUserNow −  Seems an odd thing to say… I mean… I get it. I’ve been to Gatlinburg, its not the largest metropolitan area on the planet. Its a honeymoon, wants the full-escape from reality so doesn’t want to necessarily run into people he knows. Its silly but I get it. So that chances of you running into each other are not exactly 0.

That said, who gives a s**t? So you run into each other. He needs to freaking deal with it. Completely unreasonable on his part to ask you guys to change your vacation (or just skip it. Yeah. thats not ridiculous. I’ll just kiss all the deposits I made goodbye and just not go on vacation this year. what a j**kass is your BIL). NTA. not in the slightest.

BeMandalorTomad −  Whopping NTA. I’m sick of people becoming these entitled monsters where their wedding/honeymoon are concerned. I’m giving the guy the benefit of the doubt here, not assuming this is how he acts all the time, but asking you to delay starting your holiday traditions with your family for the sake of his honeymoon is absolutely egregious. I’m also pregnant and spending a lot of time thinking about how to make my baby’s holidays magical, sooo… I might be a lil biased.

Smitten-kitten83 −  NTA. I got married in Gatlinburg. Most of my family made it in to a vacation so they were there during my honeymoon. They did invite us to join them at some things but we declined and did our own thing. Gatlinburg is plenty big enough to be there at the same time without being intrusive.

Anxious-Routine-5526 −  NTA. Your BIL is being ridiculous, and his request should be treated accordingly.

Illustrious-Mix-4491 −  Of course you are NTAH. He obviously knew where you were going. He could have chosen another place to honeymoon. He doesn’t own the whole country to call dibs. Ridiculous.

My BIL has a certain group of friends that he parties with and they stay over his house on the weekends. One of the guys had the audacity to ask BIL if he, guest, could put a lock on the guest room so he could leave his stuff in there. My BIL said sure and quoted the sale price of the house. If he paid that, he could do anything he wanted. Some people just need to hear the word no more often.

Ok-Insurance-8097 −  NTA! Also is your wife really “hard headed” or are you just spinning her that way bc of your own self described “easy goingness?” Also f**k your brother he made his honeymoon plans after you made yours so he can deal with any negative feelings he has. Sounds like he’s a s**tty brother to begin with. 

Foreverforgettable −  NTA. Remind him, gently, that you had no plans to see or even think of him or his wife after their wedding nor do you intend to change that now that he has decided to change his honeymoon plans. You planned your trip well in advance and if the thought of you and your family being in the same city is enough for him to lose focus on his honeymoon then he, personally, has bigger problems.

It’s really rather entitled of him to ask you to change plans you have had for so long. He doesn’t get to claim an entire city for however long your trip or his honeymoon is. If you do spot them whilst on your trip please make a point to ignore them and even cross the street if need be.