AITA brother in law asked my family to move our Christmas vacation we had planned after they (him and fiance) decided to honeymoon in the same city at same time?
Family traditions often serve as the heart of our holiday celebrations, and for our OP—a Tennessee resident—this meant a long-planned Christmas getaway to Gatlinburg with his young daughter.
For over a year, he and his wife had eagerly looked forward to spending the holidays in a cozy cabin, a tradition meant to create lasting memories. Despite flying to Miami two days before Christmas for his brother-in-law’s wedding, his priority remained clear: his daughter and their cherished vacation.
However, drama struck when his brother-in-law, who originally had a different post-wedding plan, decided to honeymoon in Gatlinburg. Suddenly, he texted our OP, asking them to reschedule or cancel their vacation so that his own honeymoon could take center stage.
This unexpected request has left our OP torn between family obligations and his own long-held plans. His decision to stand his ground raises the question: Is he the asshole for refusing to change his plans?
‘AITA brother in law asked my family to move our Christmas vacation we had planned after they (him and fiance) decided to honeymoon in the same city at same time?’
Expert Opinion
Letting personal commitments and family traditions dictate holiday plans is essential for emotional well‑being. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship and family dynamics expert, once said, “Maintaining personal boundaries and honoring long-term traditions builds resilience and fosters a sense of identity within the family” (Gottman Institute). In this scenario, our OP is faced with a classic dilemma: the conflict between accommodating others’ last-minute changes and staying true to one’s long-held commitments.
Family therapists note that blending multiple family schedules, especially around the holidays, can often lead to significant stress if not managed with clear communication. Dr. Susan Johnson, an expert in family systems, stresses, “When family members impose sudden changes on shared plans, it not only disrupts the established routine but can also erode trust over time.”
Here, our OP’s steadfast decision to keep his Christmas vacation intact is rooted in the need to provide stability for his young daughter and uphold a tradition that has been meticulously planned.
Furthermore, studies in domestic scheduling highlight that predictable, consistent family routines contribute positively to children’s emotional development. Altering these routines abruptly can cause unnecessary anxiety for both parents and children.
Our OP’s refusal to compromise on his vacation dates is therefore not just about personal convenience—it’s about safeguarding the well‑being of his family. In essence, his choice serves as a reminder that respecting one’s own commitments is a vital aspect of healthy family dynamics.
Check out how the community responded:
Many redditors sympathize with our OP, arguing that changing well‑planned family traditions for someone else’s honeymoon is unreasonable. Others point out that while compromise is often key in family matters, there comes a point when one must prioritize longstanding commitments over sudden, self‑centered demands.
A few even humorously compared the situation to “moving mountains” for a fleeting moment of infatuation. Overall, the consensus seems to be that our OP is entirely justified in holding firm to his plans.
In conclusion, our OP’s decision to stick to his planned Christmas vacation—even in the face of pressure from his brother-in-law—appears to be a well‑reasoned act of self‑respect and family prioritization. While blending schedules can sometimes lead to compromise, forcing a change in longstanding traditions is not only unfair but can also undermine the stability essential for a young family.
What do you think? Would you alter your plans for someone else’s honeymoon, or would you stand your ground? Share your thoughts and experiences below—what would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation?
I’ve heard of ridiculous bridezillas not wanting any major events during the entire YEAR of their weddings, but this is the first I’ve heard of a honeymoon claiming an entire city. F him.
Tell your brother in law he sas his head where the sun doesn’t shine. Enjoy your vacation. If the family gives you any grief, go full nuclear on social media and ruin their reputation. Then go no contact.
He wants to be: “Focused on his honeymoon”? What does that even mean? Christmas in Gatlinburg is wall to wall people, unlikely you will even see them. Just go, what is he going to do about it, kick you out of Gatlinburg? Oh no, he might lose his focus!