AITA because i refuse to drive my coworkers home without compensation?

A Reddit user shared his story about a seemingly small gesture that turned into a significant expense. After upgrading from an old car to a much pricier supercar, he continued giving his coworkers lifts home as a courtesy.

However, the increased fuel costs began to add up, and his coworkers never offered any kind of compensation, even though they’d need to pay for public transport otherwise. Recently, he asked them to chip in for gas, which sparked some tension, leaving him wondering if he was wrong for asking.

‘ AITA because i refuse to drive my coworkers home without compensation?’

I (25M) have been offering/accepting requests from coworkers to give them a lift home whenever possible. I never asked for any compensation since it is only about a 15-20-minute detour.

But, about a month ago, I finally had the opportunity to buy a new car. Beforehand, I had a 1999 Ford Fiesta; it was my first car, and I barely spent any money on gas.

I don’t have many financial responsibilities, so I chose to enjoy being a young man with a decent salary and bought a supercar. I LOVE my new car, and so do my coworkers, which means a lot more requests started coming my way for lifts home.

I’ve worked at my current job for about 6 months, and I’ve probably done over 100 detours to make my coworkers happy. Here’s the problem; not ONCE have I been offered any form of compensation from any of them, even though they would’ve had to pay for public transport, if I didn’t offer them a lift.

Now, my new car is quite a bit more expensive than my old one, which means it does not drive that far km/l (approx 12-13 km/l).Apparently, this is completely otherworldly for my coworkers. Today, I said no for the first time. I got asked if I could give them a lift, and I said: (sure, if you pay me the fee you would have to for public transport, I’ll drive you home), and this did not sit well with them.

I think I’m being as fair as possible, since I don’t want to keep losing money by giving them a free service, that they don’t seem to appreciate.
So, AITA because I won’t give free lifts to my coworkers anymore, since it’s becoming a financial burden on me?

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

archetyping101 −  NTA but I think it’s how you said it that didn’t sit well.
It would have been ok if you said “hey, I should have mentioned this earlier but after giving lifts out of the way for so long, I do need $x because of the detour and gas. I’m sure you understand”. 

I used to give lifts all the time and they’d either pay for groceries (we’d shop after work) or they would buy me lunch or dinner. To have done this so many times and been offered absolutely nothing is bananas. 

HappyFlounder7236 −  NTA. But it’s weird you’re calling it compensation or a fee and that might be turning people off. Normally people ask for gas money – basics rule of etiquette in car pooling is always offering gas money. 

Long_Fortune4199 −  NTA- old saying. Ass, cash or grass. No one offered to help before but 100 detours. Yeah you are fine.. And yes that is the saying.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. You’re not their Uber or Lyft. Don’t be giving rides for free like that. And yes ,15 minute detour after work is definitely a inconvenience

CuriousKiris −  NTA and good on you for setting a reasonable request. It’s no more than they would have spent anyway, for greater comfort, convenience, and time saved. 

 However, you’ve been sacrificing all of that this entire time, and it is going to be jarring to some folk when you no longer desire to do so.
Not a single offer to buy you a meal? Burger or a coffee? No thank you snacks from home to show appreciation? Nothing? That’s wild. . *edited for spelling

kharmatika −  NTA, but I think you kinda handled it awkwardly. Comparing it to a fee for public transport is definitely going to make it come off like you’re mad that you’re having to take them places, not that you are actually just losing money on stuff. The normal, socially acceptable way to ask for this is to go “hey, could we set up a gas money pool if I’m going to be driving us pretty regularly?” 

Just ask for like, $15 a week (or whatever you think is a normal carpool fund and makes sense) for gas from each of them, since that should comp both gas and wear and tear, and that will be cheaper for them than uber and better for you than driving for free. If they don’t go for that, then it’s their loss.

tinyd71 −  The new car is a great opportunity for some new “rules”! I would have approached it like that… Let them know that your new car costs a lot more to run, and that while you’re happy to detour to help them out, you’d appreciate a contribution to the cost of that.

Your coworkers are rude/e**itled/oblivious (I’m not sure!) to not have offered you some form of compensation in all this time. At minimum they could have made an offer of money, brought you in lunch at work, or made some sort of overture that made it clear they appreciate you/the ride. Their behaviour is AH behaviour.

Your clumsy attempt at asking for reimbursement in the form of what transit would have cost wasn’t ideal, but the idea behind it was reasonable!. NTA

Comfortable-Sea-2454 −  NTA.\ Now, my new car is quite a bit more expensive than my old one, which means it does not drive that far km/l (approx 12-13 km/l).

\ Apparently, this is completely otherworldly for my coworkers. Today, I said no for the first time. I got asked if I could give them a lift, and I said: (sure, if you pay me the fee you would have to for public transport, I’ll drive you home), and this did not sit well with them. I think I’m being as fair as possible, since I don’t want to keep losing money by giving them a free service, that they don’t seem to appreciate.

\ So, AITA because I won’t give free lifts to my coworkers anymore, since it’s becoming a financial burden on me?
Your coworkers are used to “freebies” and refuse to understand compensating the driver. Grow a shiny spine and quit being the uncompensated driver to your co workers. They won’t like it, but they can either share the cost with you, or share the cost with a cab or uber.

Sea-Tea-4130 −  NTA-You made a change (new car) and operation/maintenance on it is different from your old car which means you had to shift gears with how you do things. That’a called evolution and there should be no guilt in setting expectation for how you’d be moving forward in the future.

Personally, I would just cut off accepting taking anyone home and let them do what they should have been doing along which is making arrangements to get themselves to and from work.

Adding: when you take money for a ride you’re operating like a business and that’s regulated. If you get in an accident and you admit they paid you to drive them, that could be a problem for you in making a claim.

CleverCat7272 −  NTA. And I’m shocked your coworkers haven’t offered payment before now … at least a beer!