AITA because I put earplugs in while I slept and missed my family trying to get a hold of me?

A Reddit user shares their frustration over a situation where they put in earplugs while trying to catch up on sleep, only to miss multiple attempts by their family to contact them. They had been dealing with exhaustion and seizures, which led them to prioritize rest. However, their family became upset when they missed their calls and texts, resulting in loud banging and shouting outside their bedroom. The user feels trapped, as they had no intention of causing trouble but simply needed rest for their health.

‘ AITA because I put earplugs in while I slept and missed my family trying to get a hold of me?’

I haven’t been sleeping well lately, and had a family member tell me the night before that they’d be up early and probably loudly trying to clean the house last minute before the holiday. I had intended to get up with them and work on my own last minute stuff, work on double checking and wrapping holiday stuff, and then throwing something together in the crockpot for dinner later. However, I got maybe 3 hours of sleep between wife’s alarm for work, other family ‘s sleep schedule, and various animals needing to go out.

Which wouldn’t normally be a problem! Except that:
1. I have seizures and exhaustion is a big trigger.
2. This isn’t the first time this week I’ve been lucky to get a handful of hours of sleep.
3. I’ve literally been having seizures again lately and my family is at a loss as to why (meds are being taken/on time, no new diet or antibiotics/meds etc).

So, I tried to get a small nap before I went to go start the day. I knew people were probably going to vacuum and overall be loud any minute, so I put in some earplugs and called it a day. Besides, there wasn’t anything I needed to be up to help people with and previously if I didn’t get up/start the day everyone just teased me about ‘sleeping in’ and we went about our day.

….Except I woke up to someone POUNDING on the door screaming my name and only stopped when I screamed back (I tried to answer them like a normal human but I guess they didn’t hear me?) I was awake & okay. I keep my phone on silent when I’m asleep but apparently I had a dozen missed texts in the span of 5 minutes checking if I was alive and asking if they could vacuum.

Now they’re throwing and banging things outside the (bedroom) door, screaming at all the animals, and sighing loudly (in the way that in cartoons means the character wants someone to ask them what’s wrong). I feel like I’m in hell: I can’t go back to sleep, and even though I’m wide awake and have so much I need to do before the holiday break starts I feel like I’m trapped in the bedroom & if I leave I’m going to get screamed at (again). Am I the a**hole for handling everything the way I did?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Fearless-Ad-8757 −  NTA! your family, however, is. First and foremost, get some (more) sleep! Then, tell your family the reason for your increased seizures is from sleep deprivation and list out each way they have caused you to lose sleep in the last few days/weeks. It’s Festivus after all, may as well air all the grievances. But seriously and most importantly, please always put your health first. Seizures are no joke.

Adirondackdarling −  I would announce to everyone involved that you are an adult and won’t be asking ANYONE’s permission to take a nap. Sleep deprivation is a serious problem. I suffer from severe sleep deprivation. Besides causing seizures, it also can cause sleep walking, hallucinations, and a long list of other things. Make a group chat and send them all one short and sweet message. Then dig your heels in!

Little_Loki918 −  NTA. What exactly is the living situation? You are married, so not a child … so whose home is this? Why do they think vacuuming in a grown adults room is necessary, let alone a priority? I assume that the issue is that they, for whatever reason, are irritated that they are cleaning the home and getting it ready for the Holidays while you were napping.

CreativeGPX −  NAH. It’s extremely important to be able to put your phone on silent and turn off the outside world not only for rest, but also just general mental health. So, your actions are fine. Meanwhile, it sounds like you didn’t communicate that you were no longer going to get up early, so it’s not crazy that they were wondering where you were, wondering why you weren’t up when they thought you’d be, etc.

And it might have seemed from their perspective like you were just having a lazy day. On top of that, it sounds like you have medical issues, so that’s all the more reason to check on you when you weren’t responding at a time when they expected you to respond. Yes, they were loudly banging, but it sounds like they tried the quieter ways to reach you and it wasn’t working.. Just sounds like a mix up.

unlovelyladybartleby −  NTA for meeting your health needs because they come first, but next time put a note on your door that says “I’ve got earplugs in and am planning to sleep late, thanks” so there are no issues, especially as you are a guest in someone else’s home and they’re trying to get prepped for a holiday. If you are having seizures and can’t work, you need to look into some kind of disability or income support.

p_luisa −  NTA, sleep is VERY important when someone has seizures so you were completely right to put the earplugs and get some sleep. Your family is full of assholes for not respecting your medical needs.

DryPoetry6 −  Handling what? You were asleep, and now you are avoiding your family. You aren’t handling anything. NTA for being asleep with the world turned off.

Drjalso −  Well, they were probably just concerned because they know you have seizures, and you weren’t responding to anything. Can’t blame you for putting in the earplugs, but you probably should’ve put a sign on your door.

Serious-Business5048 −  NTA, you must take care of yourself and if you need to take step to get good sleep, then do what you must. They only thing you might consider is let folks know that you are taking a bit of nap to catch up on sleep, then they can manage their expectations better.

Environmental_Unit55 −  NTA. The pounding seems like an anxiety problem on their part. They were trying to contact you to ask whether it’d be a good time to make noise with a vaccuum (with your sleep/ health in mind). So- how does it make sense that they then insisted on making more noise than a vaccuum to specifically wake you up? Because they thought you were dead? How does that make any sense? Also, they’re definitely TA for yelling at their poor innocent pets. This family member has some anger management issues.