AITA because I don’t want to spend Christmas with my sick family?

A Reddit user faced a tough decision after visiting their family for Christmas, only to discover that several members were sick and hadn’t warned them in advance. Concerned about their health due to recent illnesses, the user decided to leave and now struggles with guilt and disappointment. Read the full story below to see how it unfolded.

‘ AITA because I don’t want to spend Christmas with my sick family?’

I (25f) went to visit my parents and my sister (15) for Christmas today. I live around 400 miles from them. Upon arrival, my dad told me that my sister has been sick the entire week with a fever and a bad cough. My mom also started to feel sick this morning. They know that I have health anxiety and also that I am still recovering from my last covid infection and the bronchitis I caught a few weeks after covid.

However they didn’t think it necessary to tell me beforehand, because “we didn’t think that would be a problem”. My grandma, who’ll come over on the 25th, lives with my aunt and uncle who currently have influenza. I panicked and asked my dad to drive me back to the train station and took the next train back home.

I’m feeling terrible now because I feel like it was selfish of me to miss out on Christmas with my family, especially since I don’t know if there will we another Christmas with my Grandpa who is 86 and not in good health (But also, isn’t it irresponsible to invite him over and possibly expose him to am infectious disease?).

I know they are angry and disappointed now – I am too, because I was looking forward to this so much and I really miss my family. I’m just so mad they didn’t tell me before I made the trip, so I could get the chance to decide whether I wanted to take the risk for myself or not. Now I’ll be spending Christmas alone for the first time in my life and I’m already feeling so depressed.. Was I overreacting? AITA?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

MushroomRadiant4647 −  NTA. Even if you didn’t have health anxiety, who wants to spend the holidays catching something infectious? Then spending time on a train and spreading it to plenty of other people? You did yourself and lots of strangers a favor. You don’t want to ring in the new year sick! I know you want to spend time with family especially over holidays but at the expense of your health? Nope! I hope your grandparents are going to be ok!!!

PrintOk8045 −  NTA. The one thing no one wants for a Christmas gift is a communicable disease.

FrequentProblem8962 −  NTA. If it’s a minor flu, you dodged a bullet. If it’s COVID, you dodged a possible long-term illness. One missed Christmas sucks. So do thousands in medical bills and missed work. They should have told you before you even left.

edebby −  NTA. Honest disclosure to a person with a mental fear of sickness seems like the right thing to do here. So if your parents know about your health anxiety, I think they chose not to tell you, because they knew you wouldn’t come and tried their lack in getting you there in hope you’ll chose to stay anyways because you’ve made the trip already.

Cangal39 −  NTA they should’ve informed you that they and aunt & uncle were sick before you left. Repeated viral infections increase the risk of post-viral autoimmune diseases, which nobody wants to have.

extremeeyeroll −  Pre-Covid, I would have told you to stop being a big baby, now, I’m going to say NTA and you might have just dodged a bullet. I caught Covid from someone who “wasn’t sick” and haven’t been the same ever since. It’s been since September of 2020 when I caught it, and now each time the seasons change or I catch a lil bug it turns into a c**astrophe.

MurasakiMochi89 −  NTA extremely inconsiderate of them not to tell you..I think you made the right decision to go back home.

DallasCreoleBoy −  I had Covid in 2019/2020 before we knew what it was . During 2021 my nparents ignored it and went to funerals and traveled. My nmom came home crying after a funeral and tried to hug me for support and I told her to get the f**k away from me. She called me cold and couldn’t understand why I didn’t want her touching me. They caught it and I secluded myself to the other side of the house and never caught it again.

piqueboo369 −  NTA. I’ve spent the last two christmases alone because I was sick and didn’t want my family sick. If they are mad at you they’re pretty damn self centered. They will still have eachother to celebrate with, you will be alone, so for them to act like the victims in this is just wrong.

flyingdemoncat −  They did this on purpose. The knew if they told you beforehand you wouldn’t show up but didn’t expect you to leave once you were there. It’s a tough choice. You wanna be with your family on Christmas but you don’t wanna get sick because of it. Prioritising your health is never wrong tho.

I was tricked like that as well a couple of years ago. Parents invited someone I absolutely hate and don’t wanna be near under any circumstances. I was only told once I was picked up from the airport and minutes away from home. It was the worst Christmas ever and they thankfully never tried that again.