My mom took 15.000 out of my savings to pay for a new car, I need advice

A Reddit user (18M) discovered that his mother had taken $15,000 from his savings to buy a car without his consent. This betrayal shattered their close relationship, and despite her apologies and attempts to rectify the situation, the user is struggling to forgive her. He has since moved in with his father, who is considering legal action to recover the stolen funds. Now, the user seeks advice on how to handle the situation while grappling with feelings of anger and betrayal.

‘ My mom took 15.000 out of my savings to pay for a new car, I need advice’

So I will try and keep this short. I have always had a close relationship with my mom, after my parents divorced I chose to live with her, I have always trusted her and so on. Now we have never been rich, but we got by, I have always worked since I could in order to buy things like games, clothes, a phone and so forth since these large non essential things were too difficult for my mom or dad to afford, basically we had no money for big non essentials.

Now because of this I quickly started saving my money, pretty much, I would usually save up at least half of what I made in a month in order to be able to have some spending money and money to buy furniture when I moved out and such. So I turned 18 several months ago and started arranging accomodations for college next year and working full time this year so I wanted to see how much I had saved.

Well you can see where this is going, I looked at it and there was about 4000 where there was supposed to be 19000, so I freaked the f**k out and called my bank, well to make a long story short after confronting my mom and dad since they were the only ones with the ability to go in to my bank account,

she explained she used “Some of my money” to buy her shiny new car several months ago, so I yelled at her and said she did not use some of it she drained 3/4ths of my savings to buy a new f**king car. She started crying saying she wanted the car but only had 10000 saved and the car was 25000, so she figured it was fine and she would pay it back in the next few years.

I know she cant because it took her years to save up the 10000, I mean the best case scenario would be her paying back 200 a month which would mean she would take like 6 years to pay it back. My dad lost it on her as well, he is very mild mannered and rarely shows emotion whatsoever but he was seething and told her to sell the g**damn car,

her laptop and everything worth a damn in the house to pay it back or he would sue her. Well this was 2 weeks ago, I have since received 200 from her and apparantly the car is up for sale but given she bought it months ago it is likely in the best case scenario it will fetch like a third of what she bought it for.

In the meantime I have moved in with my dad who lives 15 minutes from my mom at his behest, my dad and my moms otherwise amicable relationship has completely collapsed, my mom has been begging me to talk to her and saying how sorry she is.

Now here is what I said, untill I have every penny back I wont even consider talking to her again and even then she has so much making up to do I doubt I will ever forgive her. I need advice for how to go about this as my dad wants to sue her.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

[Reddit User] −  Yeah OP the fact that she tried to guilt trip you into thinking this is okay makes me think your mom is a tad bit narcissistic. I wouldn’t talk to her until she pays up at the very least. She knows she didn’t need a brand new car, most of us drive used nowadays anyways

Lhun −  if you want to salvage your relationship ask her to take out a personal loan and repay you immediately, simple as that. You should not be responsible for managing her arrears.

Morningafterpancakes −  There is literally no point in her buying a new car. 10k can buy a perfectly fine car. She consciously made a choice to do that to you. I would tell her to kick rocks until she gets a loan for 15k and pays you back asap.

[Reddit User] −  r/legaladvice is better for you

Noononsense −  What the hell was she thinking? She didn’t think you’d notice? Then she uses it to by a new car. The absolute worst thing you can do with the money. As soon as she left the car lot the value dropped $3K. Sorry man that sucks. Immediately take what money you have left and move it into an account only you have access to.

ashweebunny −  If she can’t sell the car or gets less from it, at this point she should take out a loan or parent plus loan for you for school for the same amount she stole from you. Only her name and it’s her responsibility to pay it back. What she did, even though legal, was fucked up and has repercussions on your future.

You shouldn’t have to take out a higher loan with what will probably be a higher interest for her s**tty behavior. I’m glad you moved in with your dad and closes that other bank account. I’m sorry, I’m so angry for you. Who does that to their own kid.

U-Only-Yolo-Once −  Why didn’t she put $10k down and a loan for the rest? This makes no sense.

ChuckieOrLaw −  If she’s going to have to pay it back in small increments over time, it might as well be the bank that has to wait, not you. I’d go for a bank loan option for sure.

Psykogummibear −  I would make her take out a personal 15k line of credit , transfer all of that to you – and she can work on paying it back . Then and only then would I sit down and discuss with her terms of mending the relationship- if you even want to. No one would blame you for taking a hiatus

Adrian915 −  Your dad sounds like a bro. Let him handle things.

Do you think the user’s response to his mother is justified, or should he consider a path toward reconciliation? How would you handle such a situation where trust is broken within a family? Share your thoughts below and join the discussion!