AITA for telling my wife I don’t care about her dreams?

A Reddit user (M35) shares a dilemma with his wife (F30s) who is trying to build a career as a TikTok and YouTube influencer. She’s been posting content about her day-to-day life, including videos of their children.

He is uncomfortable with their kids being featured in these videos, especially ones where their 2-year-old daughter is in a diaper and during tantrums. Despite voicing his concerns, his wife insists on keeping the content, leading him to threaten divorce if she doesn’t remove it.

The situation has sparked conflict, with his wife and her friends labeling him as controlling and narcissistic. Read the full story below.

 

‘ AITA for telling my wife I don’t care about her dreams?’

My wife wants to be an influencer on TikTok and YouTube. She has been creating mommy content and content about her day to day life. When she told me this is something she wanted to do I didn’t have a problem with I only said that I don’t want our children (4m, 2f) in ANY of her content. I didn’t monitor her channel because it didn’t really seem necessary.

I recently watched her channel because I thought it be cute so see what she does in her day to day life. I found our children faces in almost all of her content.

I told her straight up she needs to remove all of her content, she said that she knew I wouldn’t agree but she doesn’t think this is a big deal. I don’t like children content, I feel like alot of the time when you see that children make profit they become less of your kids and more of a product and your interactions become more performative

And I can see the same thing has happened in her because she posted a video of her getting our 2 yr old out of a tantrum and how she deals with it but how is your first instinct to record and hold a camera whilst our baby is crying.

She started crying saying that she built this up and this is her dream and deleting her content will ruin it and I said I simply don’t give a f**k, if you don’t delete it I will consider a divorce. I know a lot of people have children on there social media and I don’t mind an Instagram or Facebook post but to make videos seem to intimate to share.

She told her friends and even hinted on her social media accounts that she has an over controlling and narcissistic husband that doesn’t want her on social media, am currently being ridiculed by her friends. Am I being over controlling or narcissistic

Edit – someone asked what kind of content. The content isn’t really harmful just her feeding them and playing with them but the 2 types of videos I have problems with is her recording our children tantrums and our 2 yr old still doesn’t like clothes, we are trying to get her to wear them more but our house can be hot so she is in diaper alot. I don’t like the videos of our daughter in her diapers.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

7hr0wn −  NTA – people who make profits from their kid’s misery are the AHs here, and it seems like your wife is more interested in being a TikTok celebrity than being a caring wife and mother.
No one should ever be shilling out their kids for likes and imaginary internet points.

Cultural_Section_862 −  NTA monetizing children is f**king gross. you can have a successful mommy channel without exploiting those you are meant to protect and claim to love.

KronkLaSworda −  “she has an over controlling and narcissistic husband” Talk to a lawyer. Your kids are not props. NTA

KyotoDreamsTea −  NTA.Problems are starting to arise already and she’s not even viral yet I presumed. I would get an attorney over this because she’s putting her wannabe influencer lifestyle ahead of her family’s welfare. Going against you and doing this behind your back will not end well if you don’t put your foot down.

peonyhen −  A business model that is built on exploiting your own kids is both ethically dodgy now and building up problems for your future relationship with your kids. That dream sounds more like a nightmare. If she’s going to conduct her arguments with you via her social media, then she’s told you just about everything you need to know. I’m pretty sure youtube removes content with kids if they’re told its without parental consent.. NTA.

Keenzur −  Absolutely NTA.Children are taken advantage of all the time by tiktok and influencers. Kids have no idea what social media is. They can’t consent to being online forever. Not to mention the amount of weirdos out there. It’s been proven that videos with kids get watched and saved more. Especially when they are in revealing clothing.. Protect your kids.

Puzzleheaded-Value38 −  NTA. She can be a content creator without kids in the videos. There are plenty if things to do. She can still do mommy content without the kids–packing their lunches, how she gets ready, meal prep, just talking about how she handles discipline, etc. You are the other parent and have a right to say no to them being in influencer content.

As for the question of are you generally narcissistic and controlling–I don’t have enough info. How often do you threaten divorce? Are you controlling in other ways? It kinda sounds like this is bigger that AITA. Your wife might be struggling in her role as a mom if she’s this latched onto being a “mommy influencer.” I would look into that.

[Reddit User] −  Influencers are garbage. People who want to be influencers are on their way to being just as bad. The fact that your wife included your children in her content after you specifically made that a boundary is a major problem.

Your wife is never going to be an influencer. What she will end up being is a neglectful/abusive parent. Your children will never have privacy when it comes to her influencer aspirations.. NTA.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. That kind of exploitative content is pretty gross to watch, NGL. Every single aspect of her parenthood is only a facade for the sake of putting it on the Internet.

She’s also including her kids in a life they may not even want — what is she going to do *IF* she actually succeeds at becoming an influencer and her kids are recognized and hounded at school? “Haha, hey Timmy, those were some pretty rad

*Star Wars* sheets you pissed in when you were 4 — my mom loved your mom’s tips on getting stains out, though!”
People who put their kids all over everything are never careful enough. You made ONE request, and she dismissed it entirely.

What she’s doing is disrespectful and, quite frankly, could be dangerous. There are sick people out there and she’s just turning your kids into easily identifiable targets.

bamf1701 −  NTA. You are protecting your children, not controlling your wife. Like you said – her first priority is making a video of what she does as opposed to actually taking care of her children. Also, she said she knew you wouldn’t agree to having the kids in the videos but did it anyway – in otherwords – she lied to your face.

She can cry all she wants about you “crushing her dreams,” but before that, she intentionally deceived you, knowing that she had no intention of doing what she promised you she would do. No, who is really being narcissistic…

Do you think the user’s request to remove his children from his wife’s social media content is reasonable, or is he being too controlling? Should his wife respect his boundaries or continue pursuing her influencer dream? Share your thoughts and let us know how you’d handle this situation!