I (21m) am emotionally constipated, today I invited my girlfriend (20f) to joke-slow dance with me. It made her happy cry, I would like to make her feel like that more often

A Reddit user shares a heartwarming moment with his girlfriend, revealing his struggle with expressing emotions and how he wants to make her feel cherished more often. Despite a loving relationship and emotional support from his girlfriend, the user feels emotionally “constipated” and desires to show her more love through actions. After a small, spontaneous moment that moved his girlfriend to tears, he is seeking advice on how to express himself more deeply and regularly. Read more about his journey below.

‘ I (21m) am emotionally constipated, today I invited my girlfriend (20f) to joke-slow dance with me. It made her happy cry, I would like to make her feel like that more often’

To preface, my girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 years, living with each other for 2 and a half in New Zealand. I like to think that we’re very happy, while we have our downs, I’m more happy with her than I have ever been. She is always there for me when my depression is too much to handle and never judges or makes me feel weak when I ask for help. The problem lies in my emotional constipation, like a lot of men I just find it impossible to get it out and sometimes I feel like the raincloud to her sunshine, and I think that gets to her.

To get to the crux of the story, today her and I were listening to some music while working on some uni work, when the song “Whatever will be, will be” came on. I heard her softly singing along behind me, and out of no where stood up and said “come over here a second”, we then goofily slow danced in our small room until the song changed. When it did I looked down at her and she had tears in her eyes while smiling at me. She said I was the “sweetest boy she’s ever met” and wiped her tears before returning to her laptop.

I really like it when she feels like this, and while this definitely isn’t the first time it’s happened, I don’t feel like it happens as often as she deserves. I love her and tell her I do everyday, but I think actions speak louder than words. What I’m asking for is, what is something unique I could do for her, maybe some techniques to get my emotions out, I’m just drawing a blank as always. Thank you in advance.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

allureal −  I think what makes her happy is the spontaneous goofy things that you do that make her feel loved. And while you might not think of these things now, I think you’ll just come up with really moving ideas that she’ll love, just like you did in this post.

Helaine42 −  Something you could try is looking up each other’s love languages. You can easily take an online quiz that will tell you what both of you most appreciate to feel loved. The five languages are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Based on what you have said I’m guessing your gf likes Quality Time, but finding which she likes the best can help you get those super happy moments you are looking for, and if she knows yours, it might help you express your emotions better.

centeredsis −  You really have two questions, one about things to do for her and one about expressing your emotions. I think people feel loved when they receive frequent small gestures that demonstrate you care, running outside to help her carry in something heavy, tuck her hair behind her ear when her hands are full, take a picture of something interesting and send it to her as a way of connecting when you are not together.

Just knowing someone is thinking about you when you are apart or is really seeing you when you are together can make a person feel special. Regarding expressing your emotions, you could go small or big. Big would be writing her a letter for your anniversary telling her how you feel about her. Small could be saying out loud what you are feeling right in that moment. “I feel lucky to be with you.” or “I really admire the loyalty you show towards your friends.” Good Luck!

fiberartistmom −  I have that problem too. It may be easier to write it down, leave her little notes about why she’s great, in random places on random days. Less pressure for you because it’s spontaneous less pressure for her because it’s not expected.

thatcrankybitch −  Little things can be but are not limited to; Singing her favourite song with her. – picking her a pretty flower. Buying her, her favourite chocolate/muffin/ice cream. This may sound a little creepy but just stare at her until she looks at you and then smile at her. Holding her hand while going on a walk. – random hugs and kisses. Snuggles with a movie and pop corn. The list is as big as your imagination my friend.

LemmeMakeIt −  It’s the small things that she will cherish at this point. When you are in a healthy relationship then for the most part you are doing all the “big things” correctly already. Compliment her before she asks, “how do I look?” – after she changes or puts on makeup. Bring her coffee or tea in the morning just before the alarm clock buzzes.

Make her plate at lunch or dinner and be a little goofy and say “as you ordered Madam” to make it seem less about you and more about her. Perhaps the biggest one, just look at her and smile, honestly. And when she asks why are you smiling, just tell her how you are feeling in that moment.

[Reddit User] −  This post really hit me in the feelings.

SummerOfMayhem −  Spur of the moment surprises always make me feel so happy and loved. A dance, a sweet text, a treat from the store, just anything that lets me know he is thinking of me when I’m not there. Or that he wants nothing more than just to put everything aside and share a moment with me, silly or special. Sometimes he just looks at me, smiles,, and say “I love you.” I treasure all of those moments. There are a lot of ways (big and small) to show someone you love them and are thinking of them. Just keep doing what you are doing!

Bookaholicforever −  Things like a bunch of flowers or even a little teddy. Stuff that says I’m thinking about you. I appreciate you. Take her on a picnic. Small gestures can mean so much.

lenasmh −  I don’t exactly know if that’s something every girl likes but i think that little gestures are key, when you’re not sure how to express something verbally try expressing it through actions. And to show someone you love them is great with big gestures but i think the little ones like that dance are the ones that matter most, its memories you can keep thinking about and it’s the ones you’re most happy to stumble upon.