I (35F) am expecting my first child with my fiance (47M) and my ex husband (34M) is losing his mind over it

A Reddit user shared a deeply troubling situation where her ex-husband is spiraling after learning she’s pregnant with her first child from her fiancé. Despite the fact that they divorced years ago and she had no intention of telling him about the pregnancy, he has resorted to harassing her over social media and through phone calls. She’s now questioning whether she should cut ties completely, including with the dog visitation that’s part of their divorce settlement. Read the full story below to see how she’s handling the chaos.

‘ I (35F) am expecting my first child with my fiance (47M) and my ex husband (34M) is losing his mind over it’

My ex and I married fairly young. we were each other’s only partner and just simply outgrew each other. we divorced in 2016 and one year later I started dating my current partner. The only reason my ex and I are still in contact is because of our dog. we had two dogs when we were married and during the initial separation he took one and I took the other.

He “couldn’t take care of” the dog he took and gave her to his parents without asking me about it (I would’ve taken her) and then regretted it and threw a fit about not being able to see the other dog. It ended up going to court as part of the divorce proceedings and now I have to take the dog to see him one weekend a month. If you hadn’t guessed by now his being a man child was part of the reason we divorced.

I always wanted kids, he didn’t and he was way too immature and emotionally stunted to have kids with anyway. My current partner also always wanted kids but was widowed young and didn’t date again for almost 10 years after his wife died (he’d been widowed for 15 years when we met). We started trying for a baby after getting engaged in December and ended up getting pregnant pretty much right away and our baby is due in November.

I intentionally didn’t mention this to my ex. I use social media very rarely and we have chosen not to announce on social media until after the baby is born. on Saturday we met up for the scheduled dog visit, which was the first time he’d seen me in a month. because i’m fairly tall it took a long time to actually look pregnant and now I do (25 weeks).

When I saw him he lost. his. mind. he went on this tirade about how this was evidence that I was cheating on him and how I never really loved him at all because i let the first person who came along knock me up. I was like ok wow I am not engaging in this conversation I’m only here to let you see the dog bye.

so I left and since then he’s used various masked phone numbers and sockpuppet accounts to harass and threaten me. I keep blocking them as they come up, but I am stressed and don’t know what to do about it. we have generally had a cordial relationship before but now I’m like what the f**k. I should just say f**k this dude and f**k the stupid court ordered dog visitation and never speak to him again, right?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

harrypotterobsessed2 −  I would keep a record of everything he says and does. If it’s legal in your state, record all visits with the dog. If he keeps it up, take him back to court over the dog and have his “custody” removed for your own safety.

oopsmam −  Report it to the police that’s he’s been hostile and harassing you non stop and you don’t feel safe bringing the dog to him. Then you cover your b**t a little bit and maybe the officers can give you some helpful advice. Stay safe!

Desert_Fairy −  Not sure where in the world you are. Do not violate the court order. Get a restraining order as he is harassing you. Save every text. Document every number he calls you from and get a lawyer. Play up the pregnant and scared of your ex. In fact be scared of your ex. I’m not saying he would hurt you, but it has happened before. Don’t let the dog be alone with him either since he could hurt the dog to hurt you. If you have to take the dog for these meetups (don’t violate the court order) request an escort/custody monitor. You may also be able to request police presence if you fear for your safety.

Avikaeon −  I agree with your ex husband. I, too, have an ex who is constantly trying to make me jealous. She blocked my number, dated a new guy, got engaged a few years into the relationship, and just had a baby. ALL THAT just to make me jealous. It’s like “ok Sara, I get it, you want me back.” Obviously I’m being sarcastic. I just thought it was funny your ex refers to having a baby with your HUSBAND as letting the “first guy you run into knocking you up”

tercer78 −  Probably. Not worth being around him anymore. It’s clear he’s not over you and the seeing you once a month was the joy of his life.

Gapingyourdadatm −  The only reason he wants to see the dog is because it’s the only form of control he still has over you. Fortunately for you, if you document the threats and harassment, there’s a decent chance you can get a restraining order and never have to bring the dog to see him again.

itsmemeowmeow −  All the obvious disclaimers re: not knowing your specific court order, laws in your jurisdiction etc, but I’d be incredibly surprised if the court ordered dog visits aren’t revoked if you’re able to produce evidence of this fuckery. And congrats on the baby! Your story of meeting your current fiancé sounds really romantic, how wonderful that you found each other after what you’ve both been through.

[Reddit User] −  If you violate a court order that you have with an immature person, you will get burned. Do you really think he’s going to let it go? Probably not. Keep a detailed record of every single correspondence from every single number and every medium. Report it and get the court order revoked legally.

Intelligent-Break-50 −  Have a 3rd person bring the dog. He’ll soon lose interest: it was never about the dog.

rthrouw1234 −  Call your lawyer, OP.