UPDATE: My grandparents don’t approve of my relationship with my black boyfriend, and don’t want me (F24) to marry him (26). I don’t know what to do, since I don’t want to lose either of these people (my boyfriend and my grandparents).
A Reddit user shared an emotional journey about their struggle to reconcile their grandparents’ disapproval of their relationship with their Black boyfriend. However, through honesty, persistence, and understanding, they found a way to bridge the gap. Read the heartfelt story below to see how love and connection prevailed.
‘UPDATE: My grandparents don’t approve of my relationship with my black boyfriend, and don’t want me (F24) to marry him (26). I don’t know what to do, since I don’t want to lose either of these people (my boyfriend and my grandparents).’
It was all really good advice, but the very best out of it all was the suggestion that I come clean to Sam. I did that, and he reacted in a surprisingly calm manner. I asked him how he’s taking it so well and he told me he’s experienced something similar before.
His cousin had come out as gay a few years back, and he told me how his own grandparents reacted very poorly to his cousins revelation. He told me they absolutely refused to acknowledge the fact that he was gay and said some pretty hurtful stuff along the lines of how his homosexuality would embarrass them in front of all their family and friends etc.
They wouldn’t allow the cousin to bring his boyfriend to family gatherings, and threatened to cut him out out of their inheritance unless he “got his head straight”. He then showed me pictures of his grandparents laughing along with his cousins husband, pictures of them at his cousins wedding etc. He told me they eventually grew out of it and as they go to know him they really bonded with the guy.
Sam joked that he wouldn’t give my grandparents a choice and that within a month they’d be in love with him. Well I think it’s working. Sam and I have dinner at my grandparents house every night, and each night I notice them more and more at ease and more avidly taking part in our conversations. Sam and my grandpa are both WW2 enthusiasts, and my grandpa absolutely loves having discussions on the subject with Sam.
I decided to update this post because last night something very special happened. I got there before Sam, and I could _see the disappointment on their faces when they thought I had come alone_. They asked where Sam was, when he was coming etc. Then they said we wouldn’t start eating until he arrived. I’m just so incredibly happy that I get to keep both relationships.
Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:
vincewife − That man’s a keeper
xChrisMas − These are the kinds of Updates we all hope for!
[Reddit User] − This is beautiful, well done Sam, and well done you, kill them with kindness, all the very best to you both.
P00nz0r3d − Your boyfriend is an incredibly wise man. He’s got a good head on his shoulders, too many people just shut down at that (myself included) but what we need as a society is a willingness to bridge those gaps because thats the only way anything is going to get better.
tysontysontyson1 − Great update. Many otherwise decent people in the older generation are a product of their time and still unfortunately stuck with the bigoted ideas that were prevalent then. But, that doesn’t mean that they can’t change their beliefs if they try.. and it’s situations like this that slowly erase prejudices. Good to hear (and happy for you being able to maintain each of these personal relationships).
IDK_a_lot − As a black person, it really is BS how situations like these where it is no where near Sam’s fault but he has to burden the responsibility of correcting the situation. Too many times does the black person have to be the bigger person but if they react (rightfully) angrily about the situation, outside voices will remark with, “well you just gave them a reason to be r**ist with that response”.. S**t is trash
yupyupyeh − Owww!! Nice update OP! Great t you’ve got there!
WearingMyFleece − This change around happened within 9 days?
brie_cheeser − ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Omg my heart is so full from this post. Happy for you!!!
stupidugly1889 − They’ll keep being r**ist af but think of Sam as “one of the good ones”
This story beautifully demonstrates how understanding and persistence can break barriers of prejudice and foster meaningful relationships. Do you believe this transformation highlights the power of human connection? How would you handle a similar situation? Share your thoughts and opinions in the comments below!