My [26M] girlfriend [25F] keeps breaking my s**t

A Redditor is facing a troubling situation with his girlfriend, who has repeatedly broken or ruined his belongings, including expensive electronics and personal items. Despite her claims of clumsiness, he suspects that some of the damage might be intentional, especially given the pattern of incidents.

He’s reached a breaking point, locking his belongings up when he’s away and refusing to lend her his camera, which has caused tension in the relationship. The situation has him questioning if his trust in her is misplaced, or if his protective actions are justified. Read below for more details.

‘ My [26M] girlfriend [25F] keeps breaking my s**t’

She breaks so much of my stuff it doesn’t seem like an accident anymore. The day after I got my iPad Pro she broke it, she broke my phone twice, she dropped my laptop and dented it, she broke my other iPad, all since she moved in with me in February. Even putting the expensive stuff aside she breaks tons of other s**t.

For example I had all my wool sweaters in a special hamper that I told her to never wash the clothes in it so I can make sure they don’t get ruined but sure enough she washed and dried them all and they all died. Even though sweaters aren’t that expensive individually replacing them cost a ton of money.

I kinda think she’s doing it on purpose because she thinks it’s cute, which would be my fault because when she broke my iPad Pro I told her it was cute how worried she got about telling me. She says she’s just clumsy but I don’t think that’s what is happening. We’ve been together for almost two years and I’ve never noticed any clumsiness.

I locked all my s**t up in my office when I went to work the past few days since there was another incident and that upset her a lot because she thinks I can’t trust her and I’m treating her like a child.

Is it really so wrong to lock up my s**t though? She wants to borrow my camera this weekend and I straight up told her no because I know she’s going to break it. I’m not using it but I do wedding photography when I want to bring in some extra cash so having to buy another camera would really suck.

**tl;dr**: my SO is constantly breaking or ruining my s**t and I think it’s on purpose.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

silverraven1189 −  I saw in a comment that she doesn’t break her own stuff or ruin her own clothing. I think it’s safe to assume that she’s destroying your stuff on purpose. Maybe for attention. Maybe because you said it was cute. Either way, I would sit her down and talk to her about the broken things.

Explain that you can’t keep replacing your expensive items, and you can’t keep replacing your wardrobe, and that from here on out, if she breaks something, she has to repurchase it for you. Then also broach the fact that none of her stuff is broken. Ask how she’s managed to break and ruin tons of your stuff, but none of her own. If she was that clumsy, then her stuff would be broken too.

Either way, keep all of your nice things locked up. I think your relationship is coming to an end unless she confesses. A relationship isn’t sustainable without trust, and right now you don’t trust her.

Iamnottherapist −  How often does she break her own stuff? February is not a very long time to have destroyed so many things by accident. “Mistakes can happen. But if you don’t do anything to stop them from happening again, you can’t keep calling them mistakes.”

HatsAndTopcoats −  she thinks I can’t trust her. WHY THE F**K WOULD YOU TRUST HER?!?!?! Jesus Christ. “No, I don’t trust you to avoid breaking my things, because you’ve broken my things SO MANY TIMES.” What a f**king moron.

I’m the clumsy girlfriend in this situation, and you know what I do? I buy my own stuff (and buy very protective cases for it), and I don’t f**k around with my boyfriend’s stuff, and if I do need to handle my boyfriend’s stuff, I am extremely careful with it. I admit it’s making me disproportionately angry that she would suggest she can be trusted AFTER she’s shown as explicitly as possible that she cannot.

MAXIMUM_FARTING −  This post reminds me of the one where a girl would mention to her boyfriend that she wanted or needed to leave the house for something. Then when the time came, she’d find the library book she needed to return missing, her car keys vanished, whatever.

The boyfriend would swear up and down he had nothing to do with it and she was worried she was going mad. She updated a few weeks later after setting up a webcam – of course it was her boyfriend doing all this. It was some weird control thing.

Maybe, similar to how the boyfriend would stash that lady’s away to keep her from leaving, OP’s GF is breaking stuff to exert some control over OP. Like punishing him for arguing with her or something.

So, OP, do you notice a pattern? Does she break your stuff a few days after you argue with her? When she’s upset about something? To deal with her, I’d tell her no touching anything expensive. Once or twice is a mistake, this is either a neurological condition (dyspraxia?) or deliberate.

[Reddit User] −  Does she replace it? I know the answer is no so I’ll also say that if she breaks your stuff so much she should replace them.

danceydancetime −  Is your girlfriend a f**king gorilla or something?

[Reddit User] −  Clumsy would be more believable if it weren’t for the sweaters. Cell phones, ipads, etc get water spilled on them, get dropped, it happens. Washing those sweaters is deliberate.

fixurgamebliz −  she thinks I can’t trust her and I’m treating her like a child. Well, you can’t trust her. And she breaks stuff at a more rapid rate than a toddler. The more appropriate response is some form of “I’m sorry you feel that way but I can’t afford to have more of my expensive belongings destroyed.”

[Reddit User] −  Tell her that if she wants to be treated like an adult, she should act like one. This is beyond “clumsy”. It’s reckless at best, and straight up bitchy at worst. Tell her if she wants to borrow or use your things, she should be prepared to replace them if an “accident” happens.

carocat −  I can’t deal with people who don’t respect my stuff. Yes, it’s only things, but it’s things I’ve worked hard for. Sit her down and have a very frank conversation with her. Oh and no more borrowing of your stuff. Ever.

It’s difficult to maintain a healthy relationship when trust starts to erode, especially when someone repeatedly damages your belongings. Do you think the girlfriend’s behavior is truly accidental, or is there a deeper issue at play? Have you ever experienced something similar in a relationship? Share your thoughts and advice in the comments below.