UPDATE: Me a [25F] med student with my non-medical BF [26M] who won’t stop asking questions

A medical student shared an intense update after confronting her non-medical boyfriend about his constant questioning and lack of respect for her boundaries. What started as a conversation about boundaries quickly escalated into a breakup, during which he revealed a previously hidden cruel and condescending side. The user expressed shock at his disrespectful and degrading remarks, realizing she had been blind to this side of him before.

‘ UPDATE: Me a [25F] med student with my non-medical BF [26M] who won’t stop asking questions’

HOLY JEEPERS that escalated quickly!!! I’ve never broken up with anyone before. I’ve been dumped or parted ways mutually but … I summoned up all my courage and called BF to meet up.
To those of you who warned me to be prepared for g**lighting…you were spot-on. Thank you for the warning.

I told him I was tired of being pimped at home, tired of arguing about whether it was appropriate for him to pimp me at home, and that I’d spent far too much time fighting him over the issue. I told him while the questions were annoying as all hell,

the fact that I’d repeatedly explained to him that it was stressful for me yet he continually disregarded that and tried to shame me into doubting myself was the bigger problem, and that his lack of respect for my comfort was a dealbreaker.. He informed me that:

1. He knew this was coming because I’ve always been an intellectual s**b and his family had warned him about me from day 1.
2. He’d been wanting to d**p me for months but he knew I needed his support throughout med school so he couldn’t leave. Because he’s a good guy and he would have felt so bad abandoning me.

3. Everyone in medicine either suffers from n**cissism, autism, or OCD, so he’s glad he doesn’t have to interact with me or any of my friends anymore.
4. Law school is harder than medical school, lawyers are smarter than doctors, and he will always be needed but I’ll be replaced soon by Watson.

5. He wishes me luck dying alone and becoming one of those sad lonely old lady doctors who has to resort to banging my residents for s**ual relief.
My mind is f**king blown. I went home and cried and threw up. What the f**k piece of s**t did I fall in love with???? I’ve never seen that side of him.

I’d seen anger but not …. that. I don’t know guys. I’m o**rwhelmed. I really thought when I posted the original question that there’d be more of a debate. Like expected some people to say oh he’s just curious it’s innocent, and expected to find some people be like tell this dude to STFU.

I was really blown away by all of you being able to identify and verbalize and validate what had been feeling so g**damn confusing and s**tty over here. Hasn’t been the most productive study day, but I’m going to go try and get some work done and at least enjoy the peace and quiet.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

iamjustjenna −  His words are nothing but jealousy. He’s angry that you’re able to cut it in med school and he couldn’t. Don’t let it hurt you.

yoodenvranx −  Hasn’t been the most productive study day. You got rid of him, I’d call that a very productive day 😉

[Reddit User] −  All of the just REEKS of negging. He’s trying to get you to need his validation and prove him wrong. Do not back down from this. You did a good thing dumping this guy and you’re going to meet someone awesome when you’re ready!

Melser −  Lmao, I’m pretty sure law school grads have been having a hard time finding a job in recent years; man what a clown.

jimbris −  Law school is harder than medical school, lawyers are smarter than doctors, and he will always be needed but I’ll be replaced soon by Watson. “This person is having heart attack. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IS THERE A LAWYER ON THE PLANE? WE NEED TO BEGIN LITIGATING THE AIRLINE FOR SERVING UNHEALTHY FOOD!!!”

“Step back, I’m a doctor and can save his life” “F**K OFF YOU DUMB DOCTOR, WE’RE TRYING TO START WRITING A SUBPOENA FOR THE MENUS!!!”

Tyrone_Cashmoney −  Sorry you got yelled at he’s peanut butter and jealous

jlately −  Law school is harder than medical school, lawyers are smarter than doctors, and he will always be needed but I’ll be replaced soon by Watson. Lawyer here, um… those statements are backwards. Sorry you had to deal with some a**hole that lives in bizarro world. It’s people like him that make me hate the profession sometimes.

Spodson −  My brother is a lawyer. When I asked him “why not a doctor” he said, “Lawyers don’t have top be anywhere near as smart.” He laughed and went back to his scotch.

GailaMonster −  LOL on his point 4. The legal profession is in absolute SHAMBLES following the recession, and unless he’s going to a T1 school, he’s likely fucked. From an employment standpoint, Doctor Lawyer.

Source: Am Lawyer. Am considering going back for a decade of school to become doctor (I have a medicine-friendly major from college). Glad you are free, he sounds HORRIBLE.

iworkhard77777777777 −  Your efficiency is really impressive and will probably serve you well in med school. Way to cut out the dead weight before a busy work week. So, obviously, he was just saying everything he could to hurt you, but he can’t be serious about lawyers having it so good. Is he aware of the market for lawyers rights now? Especially ones like him, who make s**tty, illogical arguments?

While painful, this breakup ultimately seems to be a step toward a healthier and more respectful future for the user. Have you ever faced a similar situation where a difficult conversation revealed someone’s true character? Share your thoughts and support below!